


'82

by TheRookieKing412



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: 80's, AU -ish you'll see, F/F, Princess Tutu - Freeform, she gets shot and has flashbacks, trigger warning: gun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRookieKing412/pseuds/TheRookieKing412
Summary: Ten years had passed. Ten years since she gave him his last heart shard, ten years since he had defeated the Raven, ten years since he and his princess left to live happily ever after, ten years since he made his promise to stay by her side. Ten years, and she wakes up in a strange world, he is there, they are all there, but no one remembers the story, or her.





	1. March

“Ahiru!” A voice, the voice of a man, she knew that voice, she loved that voice, but it faded.

“Ahiru?” A voice, a woman’s, one she didn’t recognize.

She opened her eyes but shut them tight; bright, harsh light hung above her.

The last light she had seen…Water around her… A man stood on the dock, calling her name... There was soft light… like magic… She was calling his name…

What was his name? She couldn’t remember… His name… She had to remember… She had to.. She had-

“Fakir!” She bolted up, there was loud sharp beeping, some kind of machine, loud and terrible in her ear. Something pricked her arm, her head ached, there was a stale taste in her mouth like a swamp, her fingers tingled…

Her fingers.

She brought her fingers up to her face. She was human, she was a girl again, and she wasn’t a duck anymore. Did he write her a story? She looked around for him, but he wasn’t there. Only a plump woman with cropped red hair, and a sleeping old man with a cane resting against his knee. She didn’t know who they were. 

“Shh, honey calm down, you’re okay.” 

“Where’s Fakir?”

“Who?” The woman shook her head, she was holding back tears. “Sweetie, take it slow, I’ll call a nurse.”

“Where am I? Where’s Fakir?” if she was alone… 

She had to find him, he would know where they were. He would fix it.

“Dad, go get a nurse.” The woman went to the old man and tried to wake him up, but a woman walked in. 

“Raetsel.” Ahiru breathed out in relief. “Raetsel, where’s Fakir?”

The woman looked startled, “How do you know my name, Ahiru?”

“You’re Fakir’s friend. We’ve met before.”

Raetsel gazed at her for a second. “I don’t know a Fakir. I’m sorry.”

Drosselmeyer. 

This had Drosselmeyer’s name written all over it. She had to find Fakir, they could work together and everything would go back to normal, and she’d be… 

A duck, again.

She wiggled her toes under the sheets. She could dance again, but this wasn’t her true self, and being able to dance meant nothing to her if she didn’t have Fakir by her side. 

She’d find Fakir, and they’d fix it, together. Right now, she just had to figure out the story, what Drosselmeyer had written and why. The story would lead her to Fakir and even if it didn’t she would rewrite the story herself to find him. 

“Well, you’re doing well, all of your vitals are great,” Raetsel turned to the woman, “Why don’t I get the doctor? In the meantime, Ahiru,” She smiled down at Ahiru, patting her leg, “You can catch up with your family.” 

Ahiru watched Raetsel leave, she didn’t know her, did that mean no one else would? If she found Pique or Lillie? Would they know her? If she found Fakir would he…?

So succumbed in her thoughts, she missed the last words Raetsel said to her. 

_ Family.  _ She called them her family. 

“Mom?” She tried, uncertainly.

The plump lady smiled and nodded, wiping at tears.

“Why am I here?”

“Oh baby, you don’t remember?”

Ahiru shook her head.

“The doctors said you might not.” Mom bit her lip. “But you’ve been in a coma, dear, for the past ten years.”

She froze, how was that…? 

She looked into the eyes of the woman beside her disbelievingly. Her mother, she supposed.

It was disorienting, to hear that she had been in a coma, asleep for ten years, but she soon realized it was just a set up. 

A story’s birth is a sudden event. 

This was all set up, she hadn’t really been asleep for ten years, but she also knew she wasn’t a thirteen year old girl anymore. She didn’t count the days as a duck, but she knew that it had been a long time since Mytho had killed the Monster Raven, she had lost all of her yellow feathers, and Fakir… 

She noticed Fakir how was no longer a boy, when he slowly turned into a man. 

“How old am I?”

“You turned twenty three last weak.” Mom sat down on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t cut your hair.” Mom brushed Ahiru’s hair over her shoulder and for the first time in many years, she saw her long, ginger braid. “I know you always wanted to have princess hair, it may be too long, though.” she leaned in then, like she had a secret to share. “Grandpa wanted to keep it the length it was before you-” 

“No, thank you. I like it this way. Thank you, mama.”

Mama looked startled. “Oh, Ahiru, I haven’t heard you call me that in such a long time.” She wrapped her arms around her. “Just wait until your brother hears.” 

“My brother?”

“Yes, he’s been away in college, he’s been away for a long time. He couldn’t take looking at you in this state.” Mama gave a sad smile, she pet Ahiru’s hair, bangs hanging over her eyes. “I was going to cut them today, but. You always liked your bangs, I didn’t want you to lose them.” 

“Thank you.” She paused, and then, “Mama?”

“Yes?”

“What, what happened?” 

“Oh, baby.” Mama pet her face. “It was all my fault.”

“Good morning.” Raetsel walked back in with a pale woman, her hair blonde, but Ahiru recognized her in a second.

Edel.

“Good morning.” Ahiru said instead. 

“How are you doing?” Edel smiled, she had pale pink lips, her makeup looking less like a clown’s and more like her own work. Her hair was in a low ponytail, sleek and pretty, but blonde, not the mint green it should have been. “You’re sitting up, that’s good.” 

Edel shined a light in her eyes. 

“I feel okay. I don’t feel like I’ve been asleep for ten years.” 

“Most people don’t.” She pocketed the light. “Can you wiggle your toes?” 

She could.

“Do you want to try standing?” She held out her hand to Ahiru, and Ahiru went to grab it.

“Oh, Dr. Nivale, don’t you think it’s too soon?” Mama interrupted. “When we were talking about her physical therapy when she woke up, you said she needed to start with simple exercises she could perform in bed.”

Edel smiled and nodded. “Yes, I did, but she’s in a lot better shape than we thought. What do you think, Ahiru, would you like to try standing up?” 

Suddenly, she was nervous, Mama, Grandpa, Raetsel, and Edel all looked at her with supportive, grinning faces. “I think we should go slow.” 

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll get strength back sooner than you think.” 

Edel and Raetsel began talking with each other before leaving and Mama sat on the edge of the bed again, telling Ahiru she was going to go home and get her some photos to look at, everything she had missed, and the room was empty except for her.

With everyone gone, Ahiru was brave enough to slip the covers off her legs and swing them over the bed. Her feet pressed on to cold floor and slowly, she stood. She didn’t feel weak, she didn’t feel like she was about to fall, but she would pretend she did, no one could know that she knew she was in a story, did Drosselmeyer realize his mistake? 

Or was this on purpose? A self aware protagonist in a world where everyone else were set in their very specific roles. 

Maybe, and perhaps worst of all, it was all a dream, she had gotten into a coma and dreamed that she was Princess Tutu, and none of it was real, none of it had happened. 

No, she recognized Raetsel and Edel, and those were their real names, it couldn’t be a dream, it had to be real. 

“Drosselmeyer.” she whispered, wondering if he was watching her now. “Drosselmeyer, is this you?” 

She heard talking at the door and was quick to sit back down. 

“Ahiru, I brought you something to eat.” Edel smiled, holding a tray of food in her hand. “Some fruit, yogurt and bread. It’s not much but you really shouldn’t be eating solids anyway.” 

_ I had bread yesterday, I’ve been eating solids for a very long time.  _ She wanted to say, she so badly wanted to say, but she kept her mouth shut. In this world, this story, she had been in a coma, she had to act like it, too.

“Thank you.”

Edel pulled out a little table to place the tray on and pulled up a chair to sit beside her. “So, what did you dream about?” 

“What?”

“When coma patients wake up, either they woke up like nothing happened and only shut their eyes for a moment, and some times, they have the most vivid and wild dreams.” She smiled dreamily. 

“I was a duck.” She blurted out, not intending to tell Edel anything. Oops. “But, I could turn into a girl with a magic pendant, and then, Princess Tutu.”

“Who’s Princess Tutu?”

And Ahiru told Edel everything, Princess Tutu, Drosselmeyer, the Monster Raven, the prince without a heart and collecting his heart shards, Rue and Kraehe, her Cat teacher, the friends she had, the ones she made, the knight who became a writer. 

“The writer didn’t have a name?” 

Ahiru had elected to leave out Fakir’s name, it was an odd name and once she found him she didn’t want people to think it was just from a dream. “I can’t remember what it was.”

“And I was apart of your dream?”

“Well, just your name, the puppet Edel had green hair.” 

Edel hid a laugh behind her hand. “Yes, that is a strange choice for hair. But I have been your doctor since you fell asleep; I’ve heard of cases where patients will hear things and incorporate them into their dreams, I think that’s why you knew who Raetsel was.” 

“But, Raetsel looked like the Raetsel in my dreams.”

“Hmm.” She tapped her finger against her chin in thought. “Perhaps, you woke up a few times and saw her face before drifting back to sleep. I have to say, your dream may be the most interesting one I’ve heard. The most congruent by far.”

Ahiru nodded and the door opened as Mama walked back in, a cardboard box filled with photos and albums. 

“I’ll leave you be.” Edel stood to leave, taking the tray with her. “Ms. Armia.” 

“Doctor.” Mama gave a curt nod before flopping down next to Ahiru. “Once I knew you would wake up, I decided to record everything you missed.” 

And so, Ahiru learned about her family. 

She had a grandmother, but she passed away a few years into Ahiru’s coma. 

Her father died, Mama didn’t have any photos of him nor did she say how he had died. His family, what little he had, passed away a long time ago and all she had left was Mama, Grandpa, and her brother. 

“Oh, here it is.” Mama had been looking for his graduation picture, digging through a stack of photos after Ahiru asked to see it. 

Mama stood to his left, Grandpa to his right and a stranger took the photo, but her brother was-

“Mytho.” She pet the photo, it had been so long since she had seen him. He smiled, he smiled the way she always wanted him to smile, but the more she looked at it, the more she realized his eyes were hollow, empty. Heartless. 

“He looks sad.” 

“Myho-” Mama cut herself off. “After a while he gave up on you, but I didn’t, I never would. We had a lot of fights about it. Eventually he decided to go to college in Berlin.”

“Will he come back?”

“Elora, you best call that son of yours as soon as we get back home.” Grandpa said, startling Ahiru, because he never talked before now. 

“Dad, please, not in front of Ahiru.”

“Your petty fighting shouldn’t mean he doesn’t get to know Ahiru is awake.”

Elora pursed her lips, “Dad, I’ll call him once we get home, but he shouldn’t come until he’s finished with college, he almost has his masters.” 

“Elora, he’s been finished with school for four years now, he’s been avoiding you and Ahiru.” Grandpa said with a final nod meant to signify that that the argument was over.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Ahiru started. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Oh, Ahiru, it’s not your fault. It never was.” 

Ahiru nodded, she hadn’t meant to cause so much pain and conflict, but she had only been in this story for at most an hour, it was hardly her fault.

But, still…

She looked down at the photo, studying it and all its features, in the bottom corner there was a random series of numbers and slashes. 26/06/1974. 

Elora and Grandpa stayed for a bit longer but the air was stifled. There was still about a hundred photos left in the box but Elora promised she’d come back tomorrow. 

Edel came back in the afternoon and started with one pound weights and a stretching band. They talked about her dream; in their time apart Edel had come up with some questions. 

Soon, that was what became of her days. 

She’d wake up and eat breakfast, the nurses shocked she was handling solid foods so well. 

Mama would come in, but soon she learned that Elora had work at noon and had to leave before then. They would talk about the photos - on some photos there were more numbers and slashes at the bottom of them, always different, but Ahiru didn’t want to ask what they meant - and anything Ahiru felt like. 

“Oh, Ahiru, music has changed so much since you were little, you wouldn’t believe it.” Mama told her. When she was little, they would listen to something called Elvis on records, it was soft and soothing and she liked it. Apparently, the music got “heavier” more rock, and less roll, songs with weird names like Tainted Love and Who’s Crying Now. They were all in English, but Mama said it was hard to find good German bands. Ahiru liked them, she couldn’t imagine dancing to them, but she liked them. 

“I don’t like it so much,” Mama shook her head. “I decided to stick with my Elvis and Beatles.” 

Ahiru had some hope when Elora mentioned a band named the Beatles, but apparently they were not real beetles, like she had hoped. 

She’d have lunch and then her afternoons were spent in physical therapy with Edel. 

And every day she came with questions. 

“Why do you think some of the characters in your dream were animals instead of people?”

“For a while I thought it was to torture me. There were animal students capable of speech, walking on two legs and being treated like a human, while I was stuck just quaking at people.”

“Hmm, that would be insufferable. I couldn’t imagine.”

“I thought it was just a tool for him, so he could make things harder on me, more secrets to keep, I couldn’t communicate with others what was wrong or what I needed without the pendant.” 

“Perhaps it was to represent the helplessness you felt since you were in a coma.” 

Talking about what happened was a relief, it was a way to remember what happened, it was amazing to hear her own voice again, not just her thoughts or the awkward quacks, she had lips and teeth and while Fakir had gotten used to what her expressions and mannerisms meant, she knew it was hard on him still. 

But, Edel telling her it was all a dream… and what was worse was the way she explained it all in a way that made sense. 

It made her worry. She had no way to prove it wasn’t all a dream, at least not until she found Fakir. 

“Edel?” Ahiru asked one day. At this point, she was walking again and they were taking a stroll around the room, all that she was allotted. “I didn’t want to upset mama, but I don’t remember anything from before the dream. I don’t remember her or grandpa, or my brother.” 

“I figured as much, I’m sure it’ll come back after you go home, being in a familiar place will ignite some memories.” 

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Call me and I’ll have you tested.” 

Ahiru nodded. She hoped she didn’t remember anything, she didn’t want Princess Tutu to be a dream, she didn’t want the majority of her life to have been a lie.

Edel would leave and dinner was served, some nurses came in and out, making sure she was okay, checking her vitals, and then would leave for the night. 

The nights were her favorite.

The lights would go off and she knew she wouldn’t be checked on until morning. 

She would rise from her bed and she’d dance. 

For the first few nights, she struggled to recall the right steps, but soon she remembered each position, the different warm ups and stretches, how to perform a pirouette, the feel of it all. 

Fakir danced with her as a duck, but mostly she slipped over her webbed feet, her wings never rounding out, and she didn’t feel like she was supposed to. She felt like a duck mimicking a girl

In the night, she felt like Princess Tutu, graceful and beautiful, all by her own doing.

One night, she didn’t dance. She sat at the window and looked at the sky, covered with stars and the moon hung bright. Ahiru knew that she would go back to her true self once she and Fakir figured out what the story was and how to end it, but she had grown tired of being a duck, it didn’t feel right, it felt like she had put on someone else’s ballet pointe shoes, ill fitting, not meant for her foot, too small and cramped. 

Being a human, able to dance and chat whenever she pleased, it was something she longed for every day as a duck.

She didn’t know what it would mean for her to go back to being a duck. 

There was a bright light down below her, red and flashing, an ambulance, a car followed close behind it, but they zipped around the corner. 

At the end of the story, it would have been selfish to keep Mytho’s last heart shard for it wasn’t hers to keep. 

This story, there was no pendant, there was nothing that would transform her into a duck nor girl, she just was. Would it be so wrong if the story never found an ending?

Sitting at the window, she saw a glimpse of her face, but turned away, she didn’t want to see what she looked like as a human, a person and not a duck, she didn't want to get addicted to what she couldn’t have.

But that night, sitting at the window, tempted to stay in this land, where she was a gir l- no, a woman - she wanted to know. As a young girl, she looked like a duck that had all of it’s feathers plucked out, but how did she look now?

Ahiru let her feet hit the floor and pushed herself away from the window. There was a mirror in the cabinet, the one that held her clothes, some Elora had gotten her so she didn’t have to wear a hospital gown. She touched the handle, and pulled it open, in the pale moonlight, she hardly got a reflection, but she saw. 

Ahiru looked at a face that had aged, one she would even call pretty. 

She touched her lips, so long had they been a hard yellow bill, but they were soft to her touch. Freckles still covered her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. 

She no longer looked like a child, her face, still round, had lost so much of it’s baby fat, it was slimmer, she had cheekbones and a sharp chin. 

She shut the door. Already, she was becoming enamored with her features. She couldn’t be thinking like that.

There was a movement by the door and she saw nurses rushing past, possibly the person in the ambulance needed more help than originally thought. 

Abruptly she grew curious, she wanted to know who was in that ambulance. 

The nurses helped her change into pajamas, but her clothes were in the cupboard. Without looking at the mirror, she quickly changed

Ahiru stepped outside of her room, careful to make sure that no one saw her, and she followed where the nurses rushed to. 

The ER would be on the first floor, she would just have to take the stairs down. 

“Going down?” 

Ahiru looked over at a nurse who was in a small cupboard. “I’m going to the first floor. I’m trying to find the stairs.” She smiled and made to leave.

“Just take the elevator, it’ll be quicker.”

“Oh. Sure.” Elevator? 

Ahiru stepped into the tiny room, the nurse only an arm’s length away from her. She pressed a button and it light up. The doors closed on their own and there was a ding. Then the room moved.

Ahiru pressed herself against the wall.

“Woah calm down, don’t worry, it’s just an elevator.” The nurse chuckled nervously. 

“Sorry,” Ahiru pulled herself from the wall. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in one.” 

“How’d you get up here then? Fly?”

“I was in a coma.” She said calmly.

“Oh. For how long?”

“A few weeks. I’ve been up a couple days.” Lies, both horrible lies, but the nurse couldn’t know, if she did she’d escort Ahiru right back to bed, she was barely making laps around her room, they’d never just let her wander the halls. “I just wanted to visit the cafeteria, see if I could steal a snack.” 

“Yeah, the food they give you guys is awful. It’s locked, but the code is 2456. It’ll get you in without a problem.”

Ahiru smiled. “Thank you.” 

Then the doors opened and they were on the bottom floor. 

“See you around.” The nurse smiled and waved before rushing down the hallway. Ahiru waited before following, it was obvious that the nurse was summoned for the person in the ambulance. She followed after the nurse at a slower pace, watching where she went but lagging behind, and even though it was the middle of the night, the hospital was filled with people, especially a room labeled ER.

The ER, Ahiru found, was never empty. Patients sat in chairs waiting to be called, and someone was always walking in through the doors as soon as someone else was summoned. She watched as the new patient was pulled into the ER on a gurney, one of the horrible hospital beds she spent most of her days in.  

A thousand nurses and doctors surrounded him, several pushing the bed he was on and the others milling around the bed itself, going over a clipboard that seemed to be very important. But, many of the nurses were given the task of holding back the person who had followed the ambulance. 

“Let me by!” Her voice…

“Ma’am, please calm down, we’ll have him out by morning, go home and get some rest-” 

“Don’t you tell me what to do!” It had been so long. 

Ahiru walked slowly towards them, just wanting a glimpse of her face. 

“Ma’am, please, you’re scaring other patients.”

“Let them be scared! Let me see my fiance!” 

Fiance? No, that was wrong, Elora told her Mytho was in Berlin, why was she engaged to someone else?

Ahiru finally got around them and got a look at her face, angry and red from yelling. But it was Rue, wholly and truly Rue.

When Mytho and Rue had left, she made it of the most importance to come back and see Fakir and Ahiru, but soon duties as king and queen caught up with them, and their visits diminished into nothing, she wrote letters, letters that Fakir would read aloud to her. She had a son and a daughter, Dawid and Aria, where were they if she wasn’t with Mytho?

Ahiru looked over to the bed, tempted to follow, but if they wouldn’t let Rue by, then they wouldn’t let her either.

She went back to her room; not taking the elevator.

 

“So, what happened after? You gave me such a wonderful story, but you said that was only a small portion of your dream, what happened after?” 

Edel had decided Ahiru was well past walking around her room and they started to walk the halls of the hospital, but Edel kept Ahiru’s hand hooked around her elbow so as to hold unto her if she stumbled.

“I was with the writer. I stayed at his house as a duck, we did many things, but mostly it was calm, and I was okay with that.”

“It is strange, so much drama in the first few months but after that, nothing.” 

Ahiru shrugged. “I didn’t mind, I preferred it, I think. I didn’t like the idea of being a character in a story, used for someone else’s enjoyment.” 

“That’s understandable.” 

“It was hard though, not being able to speak to him, I couldn’t tell him what I needed, or what I wanted, he had to guess.” 

Edel nodded. “This young man you were with. What did he look like?”

“Handsome.” Ahiru blushed. “I mean!”

Edel smiled, “Don’t be embarrassed, I think we all dream about handsome men from time to time.” She winked and Ahiru relaxed. 

“He had darker skin, darker than mine, he spent a lot of time in the sun, sitting with me on the dock.” Ahiru got lost in thought, picturing Fakir. He had green eyes, like sunlight illuminating through tree leaves, he rarely smiled, but when he did it was always filled with love and happiness, he let her sit on his shoulder and her face would rub against his, his skin was soft and warm, and when he didn’t shave there was a touch of stubble, she didn’t know which one she preferred. He wrote her stories, and he’d read them to her every night, most of them written about the people in town, giving them good fortune, a better tomorrow; hope. He let her share his bed and he would lay flat on his back, she’d stay on his chest and fell asleep to his heartbeat. 

How was she supposed to convey all of that to Edel? 

“He had a good voice, it was strong. I miss his voice.” 

“I would imagine. Some days I wake up after dreaming about someone and miss them terribly, even if I haven’t spoken to them in years. It’ll fade, don’t worry.” 

She didn’t want it to fade, the longing she felt, it would push her forward until she found him. 

“You didn’t have to come with me.” 

Ahiru’s head snapped over to the person who muttered those words. It was Rue, she was back, and on Ahiru’s floor.

“Will you be alright by yourself?” Edel asked. 

“Huh?”

“I have to go use the restroom, will you be alright?”

“Yes.” Ahiru nodded. “Yes, I’ll be alright.”

Edel smiled before walking away briskly. 

Rue scoffed and Ahiru looked for her. “You never cared about him before.” 

“What, and you do?” 

Her heart pounded. He was here, he was here. 

“He’s my fiance!” 

“Oh, like you ever loved him.” 

Rue huffed. 

Why were there so many people? It was never this busy given any other day. 

“I love him with all my heart, you’re just jealous that no one could ever love you. Go home, I don’t think he’d be happy to see you after you nearly got him killed.” 

“Oh please, it was all his fault.” 

Ahiru elbowed past two people and saw them. Saw him.

“Fakir.” 

He was so tall, he was so handsome, he was standing there, did he come here to find her? 

“Rue, he’s the last of my family, do you really think I wouldn’t check up on him?”

“Yes, I do.” 

Ahiru lost control of herself, she moved towards them, after weeks of being separated from him, she couldn’t believe that he had come to find her.   

“Fakir?” She called, loud enough that he heard and looked over. 

_ No. _

“Yes, can I help you?”

There wasn’t a light in his eyes, the way his eyes always lit up when he saw her.

“Are you one of Autor’s nurses?”

What did he do? What did that rotten man do?

“No, I’m sorry.” Ahiru blinked away tears, she couldn’t let him see, he would think her mad. “I’m sorry.”

“See what you do when you come out? You make people cry!” Rue smacked his shoulder and came up to Ahiru. “Are you alright?” 

Ahiru shook her head and wiped at her face. “Yes, I’m sorry, I thought-” She looked to Fakir.  _ I thought you would recognize me. _

“Hey, I know you. You were in the ER when Autor was brought in.” Rue tilted her head. “Why did you go down there?”

“I saw the ambulance from my window, I- I just wanted to see if they were okay.” 

Rue smiled sweetly. “Thank you, that means a lot.” 

_ He doesn’t know me. _

“Why don’t I walk you back to your room?” Rue looked back at Fakir. “Tell Autor I’ll be right there, unless you would like to walk her back.”

Ahiru stiffened, she wasn’t sure if she could handle talking to him when he didn’t know her name.

He had forgotten just like everyone else.

“It’s fine, I’ll go make sure Autor isn’t terrorizing the nurses.” 

She heard him turn and walk off.

“C’mon, I’ll take you back.” Rue placed her hand on Ahiru’s elbow. “What are you in the hospital for?”

“I was asleep for ten years.” Ahiru told her.

_ He’s gone. He’s gone. I’m alone. _

“My goodness, that’s a long time.”

“It didn’t feel like it.”

“My name is Rue, by the way, what’s yours?”

“Ahiru.”

_ Fakir. You can’t leave me. We’re supposed to do this together. _

“That's a pretty name.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you alright? You seem a little out of it?” Rue stopped them, stepping in front of Ahiru to look her in the eyes and Ahiru was startled by the fact that her eyes were a deep brown rather than the burgedny she knew them to be.

“I’m sorry, I’m tired, I’ve been doing physical therapy, I don’t normally walk so far.”

“Is your room much farther?”

“No, it’s-”

“Ahiru.” Edel came up beside them. 

“Edel.” 

“Is this your doctor?” Rue asked, letting go.

“Yes, thank you for helping me.” 

Rue stepped away and waved before turning back down the hall to where she had been. 

“Sorry, I wandered too far.” 

“You’re perfectly alright.”

“When we get back, I think I’ll take a nap, is that alright?”

Edel nodded, resuming the walk back. “Perfectly alright.” 

“Thank you.”

She remained silent until she was back in her room, the door shut tightly behind her, she sunk to the floor and let sobs consume her. 

“Fakir.” She whispered. “Fakir, you were supposed to remember.” 

She was alone, she was so alone. 

No one knew who she was, no one.

She was alone, all alone in this story. 

“Fakir.”

What was she supposed to do now?

 


	2. April

“Ahiru, you’re home.” Elora beckoned her inside. “What do you think, sweetie?” 

Ahiru looked around the small home. “It’s nice.” She rubbed her arms. It felt wrong, it wasn’t her home, her home was in the house beside the lake. 

The floors were made of wood and the windows looked out to the forest, to the lake; to the town, Fakir had his horse in a small stable, there were two stories and there wasn’t that weird smell. What was that smell? 

It felt awful being there, knowing that her home was with Fakir.

But, she had a mission, she would fix it all, she would make Fakir remember and they’d go back to Goldcrown together.

Side by side.

“Why don’t we make some cookies together? Huh? You used to love making cookies in the kitchen.” 

“Yes, mama.” 

Elora left to place Ahiru’s bag of clothes in her room and she was left to explore. 

Ahiru moved through the house slowly, afraid to make a sound, but there was something soft under her feet that didn’t allow it. Ahiru bent down and moved her hand over awfully colored, shaggy fabric that covered the floor, it was a bright orange and looked like someone had covered the entire floor with a rug. She wasn’t sure how much she liked it. 

Grandpa was sitting down in front of a small box that was brightly lit with flashing pictures. 

“What is that, grandpa?” 

“M*A*S*H*, the last good thing they play on television nowadays.” He shook his head. “It’ll rot your brains, I’ve been saying that since television replaced radio.”

Ahiru sat down next to him, slowly sinking into her seat farther down than she expected, and watched the television. It was like a little play, with characters and a story. 

Abruptly, the characters were gone and there was a bright flashing across the screen and something that sounded like music.

“Gah! Rotten commercials.” He shook his head. 

“Dad, stop yelling!” Elora scolded her father but came into the room. “Are you watching Mashed, Ahiru? You never liked it when you were younger.” 

“It’s not mashed!” 

“Come, Ahiru, I have just enough eggs to make your favorite cookies.” Elora winked and dragged Ahiru away from the television.

“Mama, what kind of shows did I like?” 

“Oh you loved the Brady Bunch, you would yell and scream every time it came on, like we were going to stop you from watching it.” Elora chuckled, and shook her head.

In the kitchen everything they need to make cookies was already out and measured. 

Elora moved to start the radio and played some of the newer music she showed Ahiru in the hospital. “Oh! This is Bowie and Queen! You’ll like them, Ahiru, they’re weird just like you.” Elora bopped Ahiru’s nose and started singing along. 

It started slow, Ahiru almost didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. 

When Elora started to sing, Grandpa turned the volume of his television up, and each time he did, Elora would sing louder and turn up the radio. 

“Ahiru, hand me the vanilla?” 

“Damnit, Elora, would you turn that racket down, I can’t hear my show!” 

“Maybe you should be considerate of other people, dad! Ahiru doesn’t want to listen to your dumb show!”

Grandpa cursed vividly and wildly, he turned off the television before going to his room and slamming the door.

Elora sighed and rubbed her forehead. “Ahiru, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s come over  him.”

“It’s okay, mama.” 

Elora put on a smile. “Now, let’s finish these cookies.” 

It was the little things like that that made living at “home” nearly unbearable.

Every day, they argued over everything, over petty things, and over the small mistakes, but worst of all, was that they pushed Ahiru into the middle of every fight.

“Why do you always leave your cane everywhere? Ahiru will trip!” 

“If you don’t turn down that music Ahiru will go deaf!” 

“Dad, why don’t you get your lazy ass up and get Ahiru something to drink?”

“Elora, stop babying her! Ahiru can make her own decisions!” 

The worst, however, was the fact that Elora hadn’t called Mytho, and Mytho seemed to be the biggest argument they had. 

Ahiru was supposed to be in bed, Elora had set up a very strict schedule for her, it felt like she was being treated like a child, it was sufficting, but Ahiru had escaped from her room to go down stairs for a glass of water.

She heard the yelling before she even stepped out of the room. 

“Elora, you call him or by God I’ll go get him myself.” 

“He abandoned this family! He left Ahiru to die! I waited everyday for her to wake up and he was the one to run away!” 

“You’re as stupid as your mother! You put an end to this pettiness or I’ll-!”

“Or, what? You’ll ground me! This is my house you live in! You’re here by my kindness!”

He grumbled something, and then “You’re smothering her, you’ll kill her if you don’t let her be her own person.”

Ahiru had made her way down the stairs as quietly as possible, it helped that the carpet silenced her footfalls, and hid just around the corner from where they both stood. 

“I am her mother! I am doing everything for her!”

“She is an adult woman and doesn’t need to be coddled!” 

“She’s been in a coma for ten years! She hasn’t even graduated middle school!” 

“You call your son and tell him she’s awake, and you stop acting like the woman sleeping up in that little girl’s room is a child!” 

Ahiru was so tired, so tired of the fighting and yelling, she couldn’t take it. She stepped out into view. 

“I’m going to move out.”

“Ahiru!” Elora started. 

“Did you hear us yelling, Ahiru?” Grandpa asked, his voice soft, softer than she had ever heard it before. 

“No, I came down for a glass of water.”

“I’ll get it for you! Why don’t you go back up-”

“No, mama.” Ahiru cut her off. “I can’t take being here any longer, I’m moving out.”

“No, you can’t! How- how will you get a job? You don’t even have a high school diploma.”

“I’ll get help from Edel.”

“Dr Edel?” Elora’s lip curled. “No, Dr. Edel doesn’t care about you anymore, you’re not her problem anymore.” 

Ahiru pursed her lips. She didn’t care where she was, if she was separated from everyone she had ever loved and known, she knew Edel cared about her, no matter what.  

Ahiru pushed past them to the kitchen. 

“Is this because I haven’t called Mytho? I’ll call him right now!” 

“No, mama. I can’t take-” Ahiru stopped and looked into Elora’s eyes. 

They were unlike any she had ever seen. 

They were desperate, and sad, there was a loneliness there that she couldn’t even begin to describe. However, Ahiru knew that those eyes lacked the love of a mother, and she realized, perhaps she should have from the start, but this woman was not her mother. 

Did she have a mother? 

Well, perhaps she did once upon a time ago, she hatched, she learned how to swim, and her mother left her. 

It was nature, it was what all ducks and ducklings had to face one day. 

So why did she want one so bad? 

She walked past Elora, into the kitchen. 

Tomorrow, she would go to the hospital after Elora left for work, and hopefully Edel could help her. 

 

Ahiru stood in the kitchen making a sandwich as Elora ran around the house collecting everything she needed. Ahiru had gotten used to this, Elora would ask where something was this morning it was her-

“Have you seen my wallet, sweetie?”

And every morning, it was miraculously in front of Ahiru. 

“Here, mama.” Ahiru held it up for her to take. 

“Thank you, dear.” She leaned down to kiss Ahiru’s temple. 

“See you at five, mama.” 

Elora paused, smiling sweetly, “Ahiru, next week I’m going to start going full time again, so I’ll be leaving at seven thirty in the morning instead, okay?”

“Okay.”

Elora looked upset, like she wanted to say more, but she left, hurrying towards the garage instead. 

Ahiru sat down at the table to eat when grandpa shuffled into the kitchen. 

“Do you remember how to get to the hospital?” He asks, reaching for something in the cupboard.

Ahiru opened her mouth to respond, but in truth, she did not. “No, but I was going to call Edel, before I left she gave me this card and told me to call her if there was anything I needed.” 

He hummed and nodded. “The hospital is down the street on the third right. Elora moved as close to the hospital once we knew you’d be in there for a while.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Do you remember how to ride your bike?” 

“My bike?” 

In the garage there were two bicycles. 

“I would drive you, but my license got revoked after the incident at the groceries. This one was yours, I reckon it’s too small now.” Grandpa showed her a bright blue bike that stopped just at her hip. “But this was Mytho’s, he left it here after he moved.” 

Grandpa pulled out a bright yellow bike with a little basket on the front handle. “Bah, I told that boy it was too girly for a growing man like him.”

Ahiru took the handles from him, and while she didn’t know how to ride a bike, how hard could it be? 

“Let me get those tires filled with more air.” Grandpa pulled a pump down from one of the shelves. “Go inside and get a water from the fridge and make a snack.” 

Ahiru nodded before running inside to do as he commanded. She placed her items on the counter before going upstairs to grab a backpack, bright pink and covered in several butterflies. She turned to leave when something caught her eye. How long had she been in this house without seeing it? 

On the zipper of the backpack was an old, dirty keychain, and on it’s end was a, what was once probably a very bright yellow, duck. 

Ahiru rubbed it, possibly for luck, before rushing back down stashing her goods in the bag. 

When she went back into the garage, Grandpa was muttering and cursing at something. 

“Stupid pump.”

“Grandpa?”

“Eh? Ah, I’ve got it all set to go.” He patted the seat. 

Ahiru put the bag in the front basket before swinging her leg over the bike. She started walking it towards the garage door, but something grated along the concrete floor. 

“Ah! Ahiru, put up the kickstand!” Grandpa rushed over to point at the piece of metal connected to the body of the bike. “Kick it with your foot until it goes up.” 

She hit it with the back of her heel, the thing barely budging. 

“Keep going, and once you get to the hospital, kick it down again and it’ll be able to stand on it’s on.” 

“Okay.” Ahiru nodded, still kicking at it until it was all the way up. 

Grandpa gave her an odd look. “Now just pick your feet off the floor and use the pedals to move.” 

Ahiru nodded again. “Right.” She picked her feet off the floor and started rolling down the driveway. She let out a shriek before trying desperately to place her feet on the pedals. She shook horribly, trying to keep her balance, but once she got her feet on the bike, it all became easier.

“Remember, the third right!” Grandpa called, before shutting the garage door.

“Third right, third right.” Ahiru said to herself. 

She passed by the first street and went out of the residential area and onto the street. 

“One.” She counted. 

She stayed on the sidewalk, not wanting to get close to the cars rushing past. 

“Two.”

She could see it now, tall compared to all the other buildings, reading HOSPITAL in large, bolded letters. 

At the third right she turned and now was headed right for the hospital, except, she wasn’t sure how to stop. 

Ahiru lifted her feet off the pedals but found that all that did was make her lose balance and started to make the bike wobble. Trying to keep her feet still did nothing either. 

Ahiru looked around her, trying to look for help but all that was around her were empty cars. 

Looking ahead, all she saw was a brick wall. 

Whelp, it wasn’t like she never crashed landed before. 

She moaned, not entirely sure how she ended up on the floor. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

Ahiru opened her eyes, it was Rue again. “Rue?” 

Rue knelt down next to her. “Oh hey, your that girl from before. Ahiru?” 

Ahiru smiled, at least she remembered her name. “Yep.” Ahiru closed her eyes. 

“Oh no you don’t, c’mon, let's get you inside.” Rue pulled at Ahiru’s arm and forced her to stand, also taking the bike in the other and letting it roll along with them. “What are you doing back? By yourself no less?”

“I was trying to see Edel again.”

“Dr Nivale? She’s the doctor for Author, too.” 

Ahiru’s eyebrows furrowed. Didn’t Rue say they were engaged? “Autor?”

“Yes, my fiance.” She said, but there was no fondness there.

“Oh, you don’t love him.” Ahiru tried to show sympathy, but inside she was ecstatic. There was still hope that Rue and Mytho could fall in love.

“What? No! That’s- That’s not the case. I do love him.”  

Rue handed Ahiru her backpack as she stopped to kick the bike stand down and placed it to the side of the door before they walked inside, the doors opening on their own and Rue immediately went to the elevators. 

Ahiru dug her heels. “Oh, why don’t we take the stairs?” 

“What? No, you shouldn’t be exerting yourself.” Rue pressed the button and it lit up again. “Scared of elevators?” 

Ahiru nodded. 

“Don’t worry, most people are.” 

Ahiru smiled and they went inside together. 

“So,” Ahiru started, “He’s in a coma, too?”

“Yes, unfortunately, I’m hoping it won’t last.” 

Was this because of the story? Was he too helpful last time so this was his punishment? Perhaps it was, perhaps it was so she would have to solve everything by herself, but…

She was useless by herself. 

“Here’s our floor.” Rue said. “Sit down here and I’ll go find Edel.” 

Rue lead Ahiru to a chair and she obeyed, twiddling her thumbs until they returned.

“Ahiru? I didn’t expect to see you back so soon.” Edel smiled. “Rue tells me you had a nasty fall. Why don’t you come into a room and I’ll check you out?” 

Ahiru smiled. “Yes, please.”

“I’ll see you around, Ahiru.” Rue started walking away before she pulled something out of her purse. “Here, it’s the number to my studio, the receptionist will pick up but just ask for me and I’ll come, okay?” 

_ Rue Karasu _

_ 18000 Konigin Ave _

_ Nordlining Dance Studio _

“You’re a ballet teacher.”

Rue smiled. “Yes, how did you guess?”

Ahiru shrugged. “Got lucky.” She waved and watched Rue walk off.  Ahiru stuck the card in her backpack and followed Edel down the hall.

Edel lead her to a room and had her sit on the bed. “You caught me at a great time, I’m not supposed to be with another patient for ten more minutes.” Edel began to check her, starting with a bright light in her eye. 

“Edel, I actually came because I need help.” 

“Oh, with what?” She switched to her other eye. “Your pupils contract, you don't have a concussion, which is good.” 

“I wanted to get a job and move out. I can’t live there anymore.”

Edel looked Ahiru in the light. “What happened?”

Ahiru shook her head. “It’s mom and grandpa. They always fight and they pull me into their fights, I’m just tired of it.” 

Edel smiled gently. “I think I know a friend who could help you. Let me make a call.”

 

“So, Miss Ahiru, what do you think?” Charon asked, he had just finished showing her around his shop, an antique shop covered in wonderful things, all old and filled with life and meaning. “Think you’d like a job helping an old man run his store?” 

“I would love to.” Ahiru smiled. 

“And you want to move out, right?” 

Ahiru nodded. “I do.” 

He smiled. “Come this way.” He opened a drawer behind the counter and pulled out an old key. “This building came with a little apartment nestled on top of it, but I already had my house when I got the place, so I just started using it for storage.” Charon lead her up a flight of stairs, unlocked the door, and flicked on the lights. 

Ahiru wandering around the tiny apartment. It had two rooms and possibly the smallest kitchen she had seen, but there wasn’t a horrible orange carpet, but hardwood floors that creaked under her feet. She closed her eyes. She could imagine the scraping of pen on paper, Fakir whispering the words he was writing under his breath. 

It was perfect. 

“You’ll have to let me clean it up, but it’s yours if you’d like it.” Charon said.

“Yes, yes this is wonderful! Thank you!” She wrapped her arms around him and he chuckled before patting her head. 

“Just give me a week to clean it up and it’s all yours.” 

After a week, she had all of her meager belongings packed and ready to go. 

“Ahiru, wait! Please don’t go! You can’t!” Elora called after her, grabbing her arm. “Wait! I’ll call Mytho, and he’ll come home! You can be together again, would that be alright? Ahiru!” 

“Mama, it isn’t about Mytho, I need to be on my own.” 

There were tears in her eyes. “Sweetheart, dear, think this over. Please? You can’t leave me!” 

Ahiru’s heart ached.  _ She’s not my mother, she’s not my mother, she’s not my mother. _ But, she couldn’t help the pity that overwhelmed her heart.   

Grandpa stood in the garage, her bike in his hand, she had gotten a lot better at riding it since it was her only mode of transportation to and from work. 

He leaned in, “If only one of us gets to escape, I’m glad its you.” 

Ahiru smiled, “Thank you.” She whispered. 

“Come, Elora.” He called her, and leads her away. “I believe the laundry is done.”

Ahiru took a deep breath and pushed off. 

She stepped into the apartment and turned on the light. “Oh, Charon!”

Charon chuckled. 

He had furnished it with furniture from his antique store below. “These are all the ones I can never sell, I thought I might as well put them to good use.” 

“Why did you do this? It’s not saving you anything?” She asked, it was innocent enough, but she was harboring hope that he remembered her, even just the slightest.

“Edel wanted me to help you out, and you’re a girl worth helping out. I can tell.”

She smiled, her hopes had fallen, but that didn’t mean she was ready to give up hope. “I’ll buy it all back, I promise.”

He shook his head and patted her shoulder. “It’s all yours, don’t worry yourself sick with trying to pay me back.” Ahiru smiled, she touched the back of a yellow chair, one that, just the other day, had a great tear down the front, and had been fixed; she knew it was Charon.

“Thank you.” 

 

Her job mainly consisted of dusting, sweeping and other general chores, but she didn’t mind, she liked looking at the different artifacts and created stories for them. 

The old radio belonged to a sweet old woman who made the most amazing and creamy mashed potatoes. She had twenty-three cats that swarm, and wrap around her feet as she moves to change the station, she wears pink fuzzy slippers and a large floral apron. Her children couldn’t bear looking at their mother’s most prized possession without feeling sorrow and gave it to Charon in hopes it would find a better home. 

The pair of salt and pepper shakers shaped like swans belonged to a happily married couple, it was their first wedding present and they used them at every meal. 

The singer sewing machine was owned by a woman who sewed clothes for the king. She was so good and quick with the needle that he made her duchess of the land and gave her her own holiday. When her fingers and knuckles got stiff with age, she let the singer collect dust in the corner, unwilling to let it go.

The old sword belonged to Fakir, he used it to defend her, he gave it up once he learned that his true strength came from within him, growing from his ability to write than to fight. 

Ahiru bent down to pull it out of its sheath, it still shined. She gazed at the handle, she wondered how many swords looked like this, with its black leather handle and purple gemstone on the top of its hilt. 

“That’s called the Lohengrin sword.” Charon told her, making her jump. 

“The lohen-” She gasped. It was Fakir’s sword. “How did you get this?”

He shrugged. “I’ll be honest, I don’t remember how most of these things started gathering dust on my shelves. Here.” He grunted as he knelt down next to her. “Read the imprint in the leather.  _ Lohengrin _ .”

It was his sword, but the sword he abandoned when he realized his role wasn’t to be a knight. If he saw this, what if he remembered her, but what if he only remembered their fight, his desire to protect Mytho from her efforts.

What if he only remembered what he failed to become, but not what he was meant to be? 

Her hands shook as she held it, she hadn’t seen Fakir since that day in the hospital, when he didn’t remember her at all. Was it worth the risk? To recover some of his memories, even if they were the bad ones?

But, she made her decision. “How much is that?”

Charon scratched his chin. “Probably fifty, a hundred bucks, why?” 

“I need it.” She stood, hugging it to her chest. 

He chuckled, “What for? Got a rat problem upstairs?” 

“I- My brother! My brother likes swords, I want to get this for him.” 

Charon let his smile fall, the look in her eyes was so desperate, so wild and begging. “Alright, why don’t I hold it at the counter so no one else buys it?” 

Ahiru nodded before letting the sword pass through her fingers. She swallowed, hard. 

It was Fakir’s sword, if she gave it to him, if he just held it, he would remember it, he would remember  _ her. _

Now she just needed to find him. She could ask Rue, but that would be too strange, as far as Rue was concerned, Ahiru was only a girl she had met twice. 

Where would he be? 

_ “After all, he’s at the library. . . .He’s always shut up in there! . . Maybe he’s looking for something. . .” _

The library. 

Perhaps he was in the library. 

Ahiru looked around for Charon, but he was with a customer so she waited for him to finish. 

“Thank you! I’m glad I found this!” The woman scurried out the door and Ahiru rushed to gain Charon’s attention.

“Charon!”

He jumped, startled. “Yes, Ahiru?”

“Is there a library in town?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so, but we do have a small bookstore.” 

A bookstore, he’d have to go there, he’d have to. “Could you give me the address?” 

Charon considered her. “Sure, let me right it down for you. I’ll give you the directions from here as well.”

Ahiru smiled, relieved. “Thank you.” 

He shook his head, but smiled. “Don’t worry about it.” 

 

Ahiru sat in the yellow chair and stared down at the book store’s address, but more importantly, it’s name.

_ The Bookmen. _

She hoped it wasn’t the same group that tried to cut of Fakir’s hands with their axes.

Another thought came to her mind: what if The Prince and the Raven wasn’t a book here? What if Drosselmeyer wasn’t the same infamous story writer he was in Goldcrown?

Perhaps going to a bookstore could do her one better than just waiting for Fakir to show up, and she hoped he’d be there. 

She would look for the Prince and the Raven, she would look for other and all works by H.H. Drosselmeyer, purchase them, and try to find a pattern, there had to be a pattern in all the stories he wrote, something she could use to find her way out of this story. 

What was the word Autor used? 

Motif? Perhaps a motif would appear, a constant one he used in every story, like an artist's signature that would allow her to pick at the loose thread and start unraveling it all.  

She was alone, but she could do it, she wasn’t a little girl anymore, she wasn’t a duck, and she wasn’t Princess Tutu. 

She was Ahiru and she would save herself, no matter what she had to sacrifice. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Karasu is Japanese for crow, one slight headcanon I have for Rue is that she’s half Japanese. That one is overshadowed by the headcanon that she and Fakir are siblings (Unless half siblings, but no).


	3. May

Ahiru felt a tad awkward using Charon’s phone, the phone he had in the store, the phone he used to contact customers and suppliers. 

But, Charon had given her the okay, and now she held her home phone number in her hand. She picked the phone up off its base and punched in the number her grandfather gave her.  _ Call between eight and five _ he had told her. 

“Okay,” She said to herself. “Five, five, five… um, four…” She entered the last number and held it to her ear the way she saw Charon doing it, and there was an awful sound in her ear before her grandfather started talking loudly into the phone. 

“Hello? Ahiru!”

“Grandpa!” She yelled back, not entirely sure where his voice was coming from or if he could hear her, “Where. Are You?”

“Home! I can’t hear you, speak up!” 

“Did you get Mytho’s phone number yet!” 

“What?” He asked ever louder. 

“Did! You! Get!-”

“Oh! Mytho’s number! Yes! I’ve got it!”

She sighed in relief. “When can I come by and get it!” 

“Huh? Speak up!”

She groaned. “When can I come and get it!”

“You and Elora have the same work schedule! You won’t be able to stop by without bumping into her!” 

Ahiru pursed her lips. “Can you tell me what it is and I’ll write it down?”

“Oh! Smart! Let me find it!” 

Ahiru nodded before realizing she needed something to write the number down on and with. 

“Ready?”

“No, wait!” 

“Five! Five! Ahiru, are you listening?” 

Ahiru tried to run to the other side of the counter, but the phone’s cord was too short, so she let it go. “Hang on, grandpa!” She grabbed a notebook and ripped out a corner and stole a pen. She pulled the phone back off the floor and put it against her ear. “Grandpa?”

“Seventy-eight! Got it?”

“No! Repeat it! I had to grab a paper!”

“A what?”

“A. Paper!” She wedged the phone between her shoulder and her ear. “Go!” 

“Five!”

“...Five!” 

“Five! Five!”

“Five, five! Okay!” 

“Eight!”

“Eight.”

“No, eight!”

“That’s what I said, Grandpa!” 

“Oh.”

“Zero.”

“No, no the next number is two!”

“Two? Okay!”

“Four!”

“Four!”

“Thirty-five, seventy-eight!”

“Twenty-five, sixty-eight?”

“No! Three! Five! Seven! Eight!” 

“Okay.”

“Read it back to me!” 

Ahiru nodded, taking hold of the phone again. “Five, five, five. Eight, two, four. Three, five, seven, eight.”

“Right!”

“Thank you, Grandpa!”

“Call me soon, Ahiru!”

“Bye!”

Ahiru hung up the phone and placed the paper in her pocket. 

She turned around and saw Charon and a customer staring at her. 

“Ahiru, are you alright?” 

Ahiru blushed, had she not done it right? “I was on the phone with my grandfather.”

“Ah.” 

The customer looked down, slightly embarrassed. 

“Um, I have to make one more call, is that alright?”

“To another grandparent?” 

“No.”

Charon looked relieved. “That’s fine, just… you don’t have to yell, alright?”

She smiled and nodded. 

Ahiru reached into her pocket and took out the card that Rue had given her and dialed the number. 

“Hello, thank you for calling  _ Nordlining Dance Studio,  _ my name is Anna, how can I help you?”

“Oh, my name is Ahiru, how are you?”

“Um, fine- is there a reason why you’re calling?”

“Yes!”

“Well? What is it?”

“Oh! Um- I wanted to speak to Rue.”

Anna sighed, “Rue is in a class right now, please call back at a more appropriate time.”

“Wait! She said to ask for her and she’d come, can you just tell her my name?” 

“Fine.” 

Anna stopped talking and in her place, was some kind of music playing in the background.

She stood waiting at the phone as Charon and the customer from before came up to the cashregister to make a purchase.

The customer smiled, and pushed up her glasses and placed an old frame on the counter. 

Just then it clicked, her hair was nearly black, and it had been years since Ahiru had seen her, but it was Malen, the artist who drew Rue. She held the heartshard of adoration. 

Ahiru smiled at her again, and waved. 

“Hello?”

“Oh!” Ahiru jumped in surprise, forgetting she was even on the phone in the first place. “Hello? Rue?”

“Ahiru?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, Ahiru there’s no need to shout, I can hear you just fine.” 

Ahiru blushed but giggled nonetheless. “Sorry, Rue.”

If Malen recognized the name of her old muse, she didn't show it.

“It’s fine, why did you call?” 

“Well, I wanted to start taking ballet classes again.”

“You took ballet classes? When?” 

“Um.” Ahiru bit her lip. “When I was younger, a kid.” 

“Oh, well I’d be happy to teach you, when are you available? Can you come by tonight? I have an adult class in the evening.” 

“Oh, sure! That would work really well, I don’t have any-”

“That’s okay, there’s a little store in town you could go to.” She paused. “Are you still riding that bike everywhere?”

Ahiru looked out the window of the shop at the yellow bike leaning against the wall. “Um.” 

“Here, why don’t I pick you up, and I can take you to the shop after class?”

“Really? That would be great!”

“Where do you work?”

“Do you know where Charon’s Antique store is?”

“You work there? Autor and I used to like going there. I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Okay, bye!”

“Good-bye, Ahiru.”

Ahiru put down the phone and for the rest of her shift, she had a slight bounce in her step. 

At five o’clock, Rue came into the shop, she wore a leotard and tights, covered by a jacket. 

“Wow, how’d you get a job here?”

Ahiru smiled, “Edel helped me!”

Rue grinned. “She must really like you.” 

“I hope so.” 

“C’mon, let’s get going.” Rue offered Ahiru her arm.

“Wait, let me go get my bag, it’s upstairs.”

Rue shrugged, “Sure.”

Ahiru walked outside with Rue following her, she walked up the stairs and used her key to unlock the door.

“You live here, too?”

“Yeah, things were getting too suffocating back at home.” 

Rue nodded in understanding. 

Bag retrieved, they headed back to the car and Rue briefed her on classes, how much they were, when they were, how many she’d like to take, so on and so forth.

“The adults in this class are a bit more advanced, so don’t be too stressed if you can’t follow along perfectly, okay?” 

Ahiru nodded. 

“Why don’t you just sit in on this class, I won’t charge you, and you can just get a feel for how the class is and whether you’d like to stay or not.” 

“That’s fine, I don’t have any clothes to change into anyway.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you some.” 

Ahiru smiled as they pulled into a parking spot and they left the car. 

They stepped inside and Rue waved at Anna, and Ahiru followed suit. Neither saw that Anna stuck her tongue out at them as they walked past. 

As they walked into the classroom, Ahiru saw that the other members were already at the barre, stretching and getting ready. 

“Class, this is Ahiru, she will just be sitting in on this class, but she may be joining us soon.” 

Four women glanced at Ahiru before returning to their work, Ahiru smiled and waved, but found it to be wasted. 

“Alright, to start we’ll warm up with some-”

“Hurry up, class has started!” Someone said from the hall, and Ahiru heard the pounding of feet against the floor and two woman rushed into the room. 

“Sorry, Miss. Rue.” 

“We’re late again!” 

Rue sighed, “Well, don’t just stand there, get to your place!” 

Ahiru couldn’t help the tears she felt rush to the corners of her eyes. It was Pique and Lillie. They made quick work of their stretches before following the routine with the other girls. 

Ahiru tried to pay attention to what the moves were, but she could only look at her old friends.

The first to forget her. 

The class passed by fast and soon, both Pique and Lillie were sitting with her. 

“So, who are you?” Pique asked.

“Oh, I’m-”

“If you were here on time, you would have been here to see me introduce her to the class.” Rue scolded, holding out her hand to pull Ahiru up. 

“I’m Ahiru.” She grinned, she never thought she’d be able to talk to them again. 

“The name’s Pique, and this is Lillie.” 

Lillie giggled, “You’re so cute!” 

“I’ll be taking this class from now on.” Ahiru told them.

“Oh, how exciting!” Lillie said. 

“You can stay on our side of the barr, the advanced side doesn’t like to share.” Pique rolled her eyes. 

“C’mon, Ahiru, we should be going.”

“Bye, I’ll see you next time!” Ahiru waved.

“See ya!”

“Good bye!” 

Ahiru smiled, it was bittersweet, but she was grateful nonetheless.

They went to the store and Ahiru was pleased to find that they had much more than just ballet slippers and tights. They had everything. Tutus of every color imaginable, pointe shoes, hair pieces, even costumes for specific ballets were on display.

And perhaps best of all, Mr. Cat was the shop’s owner. 

“Ah, I see your interested in this pointe shoes.“ He lisped.

“Mr. -ack!” She turned around and rather than seeing a cat, she saw a person, with dark hair slicked back, and a moustache over his lip.

“Hello, my name is Mr. Katz, what were you looking for?”

“She’s starting up my ballet class.” Rue answered, already holding a bundle of clothing. 

“Wonderful, it’s never too late to start taking classes.” 

Ahiru nodded. “I took some before, but I had to stop because I was in a coma for ten years.” 

“A- a coma? For ten- ten years?” He made a sound that she thought sounded like a cat’s meow. “Are you alright?”

“I’m well, thank you, I’ve been up for a couple of months now.” 

“You look well.”

Ahiru smiled, she was glad her teacher hadn’t changed. Rue, generously, bought Ahiru the clothes, much to her disapproval, but she was grateful nonetheless.

Rue took her home. 

“Oh, Rue?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Do you know where the bookstore is?  _ The Bookmen _ ? I was trying to find a certain work.” 

Rue rolled her eyes. “Careful, that’s the same bookstore Fakir goes to. It’s not too far away from you, actually, why don’t I write down the directions for you?”

Ahiru waved as Rue drove off, looking down at the directions, she had decided, Saturday she would go down to the bookstore, to find Fakir and the works written by H. H. Drosselmeyer, no matter how long it took. 

 

Saturday morning came too slowly, the week crawled, every day lasting longer than the one before, every task never ended, and the nights were unforgiving, her head filled with dreams of her on the mist filled lake, dancing and laughing with Fakir. 

But now it was here, and she would go down there and try her best to succeed. 

Ahiru pulled on pants and a striped sweater, she wrapped her hair into a braid and took off on her bike, her heart beating with hope. 

The bookstore was strange, it was a thin, but tall building, nestled between two others, she propped her bike against the wall, but she worried that it took much too much space. 

Inside it was even stranger. 

The first floor was tall, each shelf had a sliding ladder and seemed impossibly tall, a balcony wrapped around the walls forming a second story, also crowded with shelves, and while those were still tall, apparently they weren’t tall enough to rationalize ladders. 

An old man sat at the counter, his hair long, the crown of his head balding, his eyes bulged out widely and he smiled politely at her, but she made the decision to stay clear of him.

She started at the first wall, the bottom shelf, the leftmost book. 

_ Danse Macabre, _ by Stephen King.

She tilted her head, Ahiru had no idea who Stephen King was, nor why he stole the name of a classical music piece to be the title of his book, but she put it back and grabbed the next one. 

_ The War of the End of the World,  _ by Mario Vargas Llosna.

_ Revolting Rhymes _ , by Roald Dahl. 

“There’s no order to any of it. Autor would flip if he saw this.” Ahiru whispered to herself. She looked around her, with no system, she’d have to check every book until she found Drosselmeyer’s. 

She felt eyes on her back and looked over at the man at the counter. Boy, was he creepy. 

Maybe she should start from the top down. She rose from her crotched position and went to find the stairs. 

“Can’t find what you're looking for?” The clerk chuckled at her as she passed. 

She smiled but kept walking. 

The upstairs were just as chaotic as the down, but looking over the railing, the old man kept his eyes glued to the door and that made her feel better. 

Ahiru made her way to the very back of the upstairs and to the other side of the balcony, hopefully giving herself space from other customers. There she spent the rest of the morning sorting through the first bookshelf that leaned against the wall. 

_ In the Belly of the Beast,  _ Jack Abbott. 

She made quick work of the first shelf, only scanning the spines for names and titles, pulling out ones that were blank to check the inside before moving on. 

The door would open and close, a patron would ask the old man where a certain book was and he would guide them to where it was, after a while she started to ignore the bell that would ring or the hushed voices downstairs. 

Some books, she would read, not being able to help herself. She was used to listening to Fakir’s stories, whatever book he was reading, being read stories and reading them were quite different, and it had been a long time since she had read a story herself.

It didn’t take long for her to be off her knees as she finished the bottom shelves, she stood with a book of fairy tales in her hand, Russian in origin, or so the cover said, she flipped through the pages, stopping somewhere near the middle on a page titled “The White Duck”. She read the first few sentences, a handsome Prince and thrice lovely Princess soon to be wed, but stopped herself. It would take forever if she stopped to read every book she got her hands on.

She put the fairy tale book back, but that was the last shelf she could reach, soon the books were too high.

She heard the stairs creaking, but hoped nobody would come her way. 

Ahiru put back the book she held in her hand, no it was not the book she needed, though she wondered if she’d ever find it. She reached up for the next shelf but only the tips of her fingers scraped against the bottom of the book.

Even on her tiptoes she couldn’t get a good enough grip to bring it down. 

A hand reached above her head and grabbed the book she was reaching for. 

“Oh, thank you-” She turned around. Her eyes wide as saucers, she didn’t think she’d see him again, not so soon. “Fakir.” 

“Yeah, about that.” He dropped the book to the floor before leaning against the bookshelf, blocking her only way out from the aisle. “How the hell do you know my name? You’re that same girl from the hospital, aren’t you?” He didn’t lay a hand on her, but his arms blocked any escape.

She swallowed, she had forgotten how scary Fakir could be. “Yes, I am.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I- Could I pick up my book, please? It wasn’t very nice of you to drop it.”

“How. Do. You. Know. My. Name?” He leaned closer to her. 

“Lucky guess?”

He shook his head. “No, that’s not possible. Maybe if my name was Hans, or Ben, possibly even Finn, those are all very common names, Fakir on the other hand?” He clicked his tongue. “I’m afraid it doesn’t even make the top 100.” 

“You won’t believe me if I told you.” She whispered, unable to lie to him. 

“Try me.” 

Ahiru closed her eyes. No, no she couldn’t tell him, he’d think she was crazy and he would never talk to her again, she couldn’t ruin her chance.

Although it appeared she already had. 

“Do you know an author named Drosselmeyer?” 

He glared, “How the hell do you know my grandfather’s name? Who are you?” 

“He’s your- Is he still alive?” She asked, unbelieving. 

“What kind of question is that? Do you know my grandfather? Did he tell you about me? Stupid old man.” 

Ahiru shook her head. “No, no not exactly, he’s not an author?” 

Fakir scoffed. “If you count his scribbles as writing. Are you some kind of orderly?”

“Have you ever heard the story of the Prince and the Raven?” She bent down to pick up the book, but he grabbed her wrist, holding it between them.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Ahiru. You don’t- you used to- we-” She took a breath and shook her head, and looked down at his hand. There was a wedding band. “You’re married?” With careful fingers, she grabbed his hand. Everything was wrong, everything was horribly wrong, why would she think he’d wait for her when he didn’t even know her? 

He pulled his hand away. “What does that matter? Besides, I’m not married. It’s my father’s.” 

“Oh.”

“Stop distracting me, who. Are. You?”

She felt relief, perhaps he had been waiting for her, even if he didn’t know what he was waiting for, something deep inside of him telling him to wait for her. “Everyone thinks I was in a coma for ten years, but I wasn’t. I was in a town named Goldcrown, with-”

“Okay stop, just-” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Stop. You were in a coma for ten years?”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t everyone says I was.”

“Then where were you?” 

Ahiru paused, she knew the answer, but she also knew it would frighten him. She can’t lie to him, she had decided, she would tell him the truth to anything he asked her. “With you.” 

He took a step back, but she took one forward, pushing herself away from the bookshelf. 

“Your name is Fakir, you lost your parents when you were a child-”

“Stop.”

“-on your chest you have a birthmark-”

“Stop talking.”

“-like your were ripped in half in a previous life. You can write, really well, and you-”  She stopped herself, he didn’t remember her, he wouldn’t remember his promises to her. “I was with you, I wasn’t asleep.” 

“How do you know that?” He whispered. “How could you possibly know that?”

“I don’t know, one day everything was normal, the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. They kept telling me it was all a dream.” 

“Maybe it was, I’ve never met you before.”

She took another step forward. “Than how would I know? How would I know what’s on your chest.” She placed her hand there, where she knew the birthmark to be. “I’m right, aren’t I? About all the things I said?”

He kept quiet.

“But you don’t believe me.” 

“Why would you know what my chest looks like?” Fakir started to blush, he tried to hide it, but it was hard for her to miss it. 

But, that was difficult to explain. “You were roommates with Mytho-”

Something clicked behind his eyes. “You’re Mytho’s little sister.”

“What? No, or I mean, I guess here I am.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Ahiru shook her head. 

“Listen,” He took her by the arm, so gently it was almost a caress. Almost. “I’m half positive you’re crazy, but… You know things that you shouldn’t.”

“Do you know Mytho here?” Ahiru asked. 

“We had classes together as children, but that’s it. I don’t know how you would know me, I never went to his house, and you weren’t even in school yet.” 

“That’s good at least. He at least has us still.” 

“Okay, what does that mean?”

He was still here, he hadn’t run off, maybe she could tell him the whole truth; what he meant to her, who he was, what he could do. She would take a leap of faith, she would have courage when he couldn’t share his.

“Mytho and Rue are supposed to be together.”

“You’re joking.”

“They have two children together. Dawid and Aria. I don’t know where they are, but I’m worried.”

“Okay.” Fakir slid down the bookshelf until he was seated, his arms resting against his bent knees. “So let me get this straight. You know me-” He turned red once more. “Intimately. Rue and Mytho are married? And they have two children? My grandfather is a famous author and we all used to live in a town called Goldcrown?”

“Yes.”

He shook his head. “That’s- insane, it’s not possible.”

She got down on her hands and knees next to him. “But it is. You believe me, don’t you?” 

Fakir looked at her, he studied her face and rose up. “No. No, I don’t.”

Ahiru fell back on her legs and couldn’t watch as he walked away. She’d never see him again, he’d never let her come close to him. She messed up, she messed up her chance at- 

“How is that even possible?”

Ahiru raised her head, and saw him standing in front of her again. 

“Where were you for the past ten years if not in a hospital bed?” 

“You won’t believe me.”

Fakir looked over his shoulder before walking up to her, he held out his hand. “I’m afraid I’m past that point.”

She smiled and wiped at a tear that fell down her cheek, she let him help her up. 

“This is going to bother me until I know it all, but you have to tell me the whole truth.”

“I will.” 

Fakir picked the book she had been trying to get off the floor.

“I come here every Saturday around this time.” He began to walk away before pausing, “If you’re trying to find any works by A. H. Drosselmeyer, you won’t find any here. I can tell you that.”

Drat, how was she going to- 

Wait.

  1. _A_. H. Drosselmeyer. There was still a chance she could find him. 



Ahiru smiled, she ran to the edge of the balcony and peered over the railing, watching Fakir walk out. 

She was going to win, she knew it, she knew she could do it. 

 

Next Saturday, she was smart enough to bring a stool. She was able to reach the top shelf with her stool and she continued her search for  _ H.  _ H. Drosselmeyer. 

“Hey. Didn’t I tell you to stop looking?” 

“Fakir!” She turned and smiled at him. 

The corner of his lip twitched. “Shh! Do you want that old man to come up here?” 

She giggled, “No, sorry. And I’m looking for an  _ H.  _ H. Drosselmeyer, he’s in here somewhere, I can tell.”

“Of course.” He crossed his arms and took on a wide footed stance. “Okay, I have questions.”

She hopped down from her stool and sat down, he followed lead. “Ask away.” 

“How is this all possible? How can you know so much about me when you were in a coma?” 

Ahiru smiled. “I believe the bookmen and Autor called it story spinning.”

“The bookmen? Autor?”

“One question at a time. Drosselmeyer was your great grandfather, he had the ability to control reality. You could, too.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s insane.” 

“We wouldn’t have been able to save Mytho and defeat the Monster Raven without your abilities.” 

“My-?” He rubbed his face. “No, that sounds like a Stephen King novel, no one can control reality.”

Ahiru rested her chin her arms. “You could.” She closed her eyes. “You would write me stories. Drosselmeyer used his powers to create vicious tragedies, but not you. You would write about our neighbors, you would write about them finding coins in their garden, or stumbling across the person they’re meant to fall in love with.” She smiled gently, wrapped up, warm, in her memories. “You would try to write stories for me, but ...” Her smile faded. 

“What do you mean, try?”

She looked up at him, but turned her head to look at the wall instead. “Maybe later.” Why couldn’t she tell him that she was a duck? She would have to tell him eventually. “You couldn’t change my fate.” 

“What was your fate?” 

“To be my true self, for forever.” 

He shook his head. “You’re insufferable, would you just be straightforward with me? What does that even mean?” 

“I-I don’t want to say.” Then she added weakly, “Next question.” 

“Who are the Bookmen? Any relation to-” He gestured above him. “This?”

“The bookmen were a group of people who decided to stop Drosselmeyer. They banded together and chopped off his hands with axes, but as he bled out, he wrote that he'd be able to write even after death. He created a machine that would write out his thoughts and what he wanted to happen.” 

“Okay, now you’re messing with me.” 

She smiled. “Nope. I wish it wasn’t true, but I suppose if it wasn’t, we never would have met.” 

“So, was Drosselmeyer controlling us?”

“He was, he was trying to finish the last story he wrote, the Prince and the Raven.”

“Hmm. You mentioned that before. What was the Prince and the Raven?” 

Ahiru smiled, she had a feeling he would be back next week, the Prince and the Raven wasn't a short story. 

 

“But, Princess Tutu dies in the Prince in the Raven. And you were her?” Fakir asked, he stood and held a stack of books in his hand. Ahiru had placed them there in what she thought would be a quicker method, taking them all down from the shelf at once, and looking at the titles as she put them back rather than taking one down at a time.

She was currently checking their names and placing them back. 

“Mytho’s last heart shard, the heart shard of hope had been so influenced by Princess Tutu, that she represented that emotion. Through that, and Drosselmeyer I was able to become Princess Tutu, and-“ 

“And what?” 

She smiled, “oh, nothing.” 

 

“Why would I have to convince you to be okay with going back to being your true self?” 

Ahiru has finished the first shelf and was now back on her knees, checking the titles on the bottom shelf. 

“Was your true self anything other than what you are now?”

She forgot how smart Fakir could be. “I suppose, the pendant did a little more than turn me into Princess Tutu.” 

“What did it do?”

Ahiru gazed up at him, now or never. 

 

“So, a duck?”

“A duck.”


	4. June

Ahiru stood in the kitchen, leaning over an open cookbook as she read the recipe that would be her dinner if she knew what on earth Parsley was. 

Trying to figure out what a tsp or a tbsp were both thrown out the window a long time ago. 

Parsley was supposed to be in last night's dinner as well, but she left it out since she didn’t have it. She’d have to look for it harder at the grocery store when she went next time with Charon. 

“Stir in medium heat until-“ 

There was a knock at the door. 

Ahiru blinked. She wasn’t expecting visitors and it wasn’t a ballet night, so it wouldn’t be Pique or Lillie coming to pick her up. 

They knocked again. 

Was it the bookmen? Had they finally found her and decided to make her a duck again? 

Wait, that was ridiculous, they didn’t even know she was a duck.

But, who else could it be? 

Ahiru turned off the stove, the bubbles dying in the pot, and picked up a rolling pin before making her way to the door. 

She looked out the peephole, but with very little light she only saw a glimpse of what was possibly the silhouette of a man. 

Ahiru opened the door and brandished her rolling pin, holding it high over her head so this intruder would know she wasn’t one to be messed with. 

“Woah! Wait, it’s just me!” 

Ahiru let her arm fall. “Mytho?”

He came into her apartment,  into the light and dropped his bag on the floor. “Is it really you?” He asked, reaching forward to touch her face. 

“Yes, Mytho, it’s me. It’s Ahiru, I- I woke up.”

There were tears in his eyes as he smiled down at her. “I’m so sorry I gave up on you.” He wrapped his arms around her, and she couldn’t help but return the favor.

“How did you find me?”

He shrugged, “Mom wouldn’t tell me, but grandpa did.”

“He called you?” 

“Yeah, yeah he did.” He pulled away, resting his hands on her shoulders. “He told me he gave you my phone number, though.”

“He did, I was just so scared to call you.” Ahiru pouted. “I didn’t know what you’d say or how you’d react. And, I’m not really good with phones anyway.” 

Mytho smiled. “Did you think I’d be anything but ecstatic?” 

“I don’t know what I thought you would do, but I was still scared.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I had to quit my job and had to talk to my landlord to drop the lease on my apartment. But I’m here now.”

“You don’t have a job?”

“I’ll find one, it’s okay.”

“Or a place to live?”

“No, I was going to stay with Mom and Grandpa.” Mytho grimaced. “Until I find a place at least.”

“Why don’t you stay here! I have an extra room, come look.” Ahiru grabbed his hand and took him to the extra room she had. “It’s not a ‘bedroom’ but I can get you a bed and you don’t have to stay with Mom!”

Mytho looked down at her and smiled, he shook his head before ruffling up her hair. “C’mon, we have a lot of catching up to do, and-“ he sniffed, “by the smell of it we can do that over dinner.” 

Mytho finished cooking for her, showing her how to do it - and what tsp and tbsp meant - and he was a lot better at cooking than her. 

He went to college in Berlin to study ballet, she was glad he still carried that interest with him, he had gotten a job as a teacher in Berlin’s premier ballet school, but quit a few days ago to come back home. 

“Wow, that sounds important. Are you sure you’re okay with quitting there? You could have just come down for a visit.” Ahiru felt bad, she hadn’t meant for him to just up and leave everything behind. 

“When Grandpa first called me, after having not heard from him or mom since I left for college, I thought he was calling to tell me you died. When it was just the opposite, you were awake, it didn’t matter what job I had, if I was prince of the land, I’d give it all up just to be with you again.” 

“Were you seeing anyone?”

Mytho raised an eyebrow at her. “Where ever did that come from? You sound like my friend, Benno, he’s always waiting for me to find a girl.” 

Good. Perhaps there was a chance he could fall in love with Rue, and Rue could fall in love with him, the only problem was that she was still engaged to Autor. 

“I just figured you may have someone.”

Mytho shook his head. “No, not yet, though, now that you’re awake, things are starting to look up, maybe I will find my princess. But, you? Grandpa said you’d been awake for a few months now, no boys?” He smirked at her, and Ahiru blushed.

“No!” 

His smirk turned into a grin. “You do, don’t you! Who is it, you’ll have to introduce me to him!”

“I’m not with anyone, I’ve just been making friends, like Rue.”

Mytho let his grin fade, “Who’s Rue?”

“Oh, well, it’s kind of hard to explain, but we met in the hospital a few weeks after I woke up, and we’ve run into each other a few times. She owns a ballet studio and has been teaching me.” 

“Really? Don’t think she needs an extra teacher, do you?”

“Hmm, maybe she does, it’s just her and her receptionist right now, but she could have more classes with a second teacher.” Ahiru smiled, oh how perfect! They would meet, and they would get to know each other and fall in love all over again. “I’ll ask her about it, okay?” 

“That sounds great to me. Is she your only friend?”

Ahiru beamed, “Hardly! I met two girls in my class, Pique and Lillie, they’re really nice and give me rides to class since I’ve just been riding your bike.” She proceeded to tell him all about them, and perhaps she knew them too well for the short amount of time they had been friends here, but she didn’t particularly care. “And, well, I have one other friend, if I can even call him that.”

“Oh a man? See, I knew you had someone.” He started poking her shoulder repeatedly. “Tell me about him, funny as your big brother? He can’t possibly be as handsome.”

“He’s more.” Ahiru said wistfully, “Wait! No, that’s not what I meant!”

Mytho smirked again. 

“Fine.” Ahiru sighed, rolling her eyes. “He is pretty handsome, he’s not terribly funny but he’s kind. He spends his Saturday mornings with me, though I’m sure he could be spending his time somewhere else. He acts tough, but he’s nothing more than a little puppy.” 

“Ahiru, you sound like you love him.”

Ahiru shook her head. “No, he thinks I’m crazy.”

“What?” Mytho furrowed his eyebrows. “Why does he think that?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, tell me. Wait ‘til I get my hands on him, no one calls you crazy but me.” 

Ahiru giggled. “No, really it’s not a big deal, he still comes.” She looked at Mytho, trying to gauge what his reaction would be, could she tell him? “I had this dream…” 

She continued on, telling him the shortest synopsis she could of her journey, collecting heart shards for the heartless prince, trying to save the tainted princess, and her friendship with the knight turned writer. 

“... I guess in truth, there was only one princess, I was only a duck pretending to be a princess.” 

“You dreamed about me?” The corner of his lip curved up. “That’s sweet. Who was the princess?”

“Oh,” He thought it was a dream too, perhaps she shouldn’t waste her breath telling everyone the story, but what if it did work for someone? She couldn’t stop, even if it meant she’d have to relive her story a hundred times. “You know how our brains use people we’ve just seen on the street. I don’t even remember what her face looks like.” 

“Did you tell this man this dream? And that’s why he thinks you’re crazy?” 

“Not exactly, I guess he doesn’t mean it in a literal sense.” She shrugged, what was one or two lies? What was twenty-five or fifty? She was so tired of lying, when could she go back to her story? Back to her home? Where she didn’t have to lie to anyone anymore. 

“Hey, you know what I just realized?”

“What?”

“We have ten years of birthdays to make up for you.” He smiled, he stood and took her plate out from in front of her. “We can celebrate mine, too. What do you want to do?” 

“Oh! I- I don’t-”

“What if we went to the lake?” Mytho suggested, rinsing the plates in water, his back to her. “You used to love going there when you were young, we would go fishing and camping, it was always extravagant.” 

“Sure! That sounds like fun.”

“How about next month? I can plan everything and get enough money to pay for it all.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to, we can go half and half, you said it was to celebrate your birthday, too.” 

“Hmm, fine, do you want to invite anyone? Any of your new friends?”

Ahiru’s back straightened. How did she miss it? It was such a perfect opportunity for the four of them to all be together. 

She smiled. “Let me talk to them.” 

 

Fakir had beaten her to the bookstore, he was seated against the wall, one leg outstretched, the other he used as a perch for the book in his hand. 

“You’re late.” He snapped the book shut.

She smiled, setting down her bag and sitting next to him on her knees. “I didn’t realize I had to be here at a certain time.” 

“No,” He blushed, “You’re just normally here by now, that’s all.” 

Ahiru giggled, “Okay. Say, I have a question for you this time.” 

He nodded. “Shoot.”

She looked appalled. “I’m sorry? Shoot what?” 

“No, it means, go ahead, ask away.” He gave her a strange look. “Don’t have expressions like that in Gold Crown?”

“The hunters do.”

“Oh. And you’re a- oh.” He cleared his throat. “You didn’t have any run ins with hunters, did you?”

“Hey, I had a question first.”

Fakir nodded. “Right, go ahead.” 

She smiled. “I woke up a week after my birthday, and my brother is insisting that we celebrate it.”

“So?”

“So, he wants to go camping up at the lake, and asked if I wanted to bring any friends.” She smiled at him, expectantly. 

“Me?” He asked, quick to catch on. “I’ve only known you for a few weeks.”

“Ten years.” 

He pointed at her. “You’ve known me for ten years, I-” He pointed to himself. “Have known you for little over a month.” 

“It’ll be next month, so then you’ll have known me for two.” She smiled. “Please?”

He opened his mouth, probably to reject her, but paused, she had started to pout her lower lip and made her eyes water. “Don’t do that.”

“Please, Fakir? You’ll have so much time to ask me questions.” She held her hands together like she was begging, which she was, and leaned in slightly. 

“I- That’s ridiculous- stop making that face.”

“Please, go. Please?” She drew out.

He looked away. “No. No, that’s just-” He looked back at her. “No.” 

If possible, Ahiru made her face look even more pathetic. “Please? It’s for my birthday, I haven’t had a birthday in ten years.” 

“I-” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Fine!”

“Yay!” She grinned. “Thank you so much, Fakir! It’s going to be really fun, I promise!” 

“I’m sure. Now I get my question.”

“Right!” 

“Did you have any run ins with hunters?”

Ahiru smiled. She touched an old scar on her shoulder. “You flipped. Look.” She pulled at the collar of her shirt - it was getting much too hot for sweaters. 

There was something in his eyes, pity? No, was it possible that he remembered? 

He raised his hand and brushed the tips of his fingers to the scar, it was so old it was white. He pulled away but she grabbed his hand instead.

She ran her thumb over the scar that ran across the top of his right hand. “I know how you got this, but how did you get it here?”

“I stabbed myself, it was an accident.”

“No, it was intentional.” 

“What?”

Ahiru looked up at him. She let his hand go. “Before I gave Mytho the last heart shard, I tried to drown myself, or rather, Drosselmeyer tried to make me drown myself. He controlled me through you, he forced your hand to write and you couldn’t stop him, you grabbed aletter opener and stabbed your hand so you would stop writing.”

“To save you?”

“You ran after me, trying to find the lake, and you dove down into its depths to pull me out.” 

“And, did I?”

“Sort of, you stopped to dance with me first.”  

He raised his eyebrow, as if out of all the things she had told him, that was the most unbelievable. “I stopped to dance?” 

She giggled. “It was a stage, we could breath, it wasn’t a real lake, it never was.” 

He took his hand back, brushing his fingers over the scar. “I was trying to cook when I got this, I got mad because the chicken was impossible to cut, someone called my name, and I stabbed my own hand. But, you’re story gives it so much more importance.” 

“It was important. I would have failed without you.” 

“The hunters?” He asked, after a moments silence. 

“Oh! Well, it was a few years later, I was flying back to the lake and the loudest crack filled the sky!...” 

Today, he seemed more curious with her, asking things about her, things she liked, what she would do on the lake as a duck, if she wanted to go back to being one… 

That was the hardest to answer, because the truth was, she was unsure. 

“Being a duck… It’s who I am, my true self. But, being a person, talking with you, dancing again, I don’t know if I could ever go back to being a duck.”

“Do you ever think that you were supposed to be a woman? That that was taken away from you?”

“What do you mean?” Ahiru tilted her head. “I’m a duck.”

“Drosselmeyer doesn’t really seem like one to tell the truth, and he changed other students and people to be animals, why not you?” 

“Yeah, but I stayed a duck after it all ended.” 

“I can’t imagine you being a duck.” He told her. “All the ducks I’ve seen act like they’re just animals, don’t you think, if you were really a duck, you’d act like one?” 

“I-!” She pursed her lips. “I do act like a duck!” 

“But you’re a person, you have this kindness, this humanness, I don’t think a duck could ever be described as human, or kind.” 

“I don’t remember anything before I was a duck.” 

“Do you remember anything before the start of the story? When you were called to be Princess Tutu?” 

“I remember I wanted to make Mytho smile, and then I was a girl.” She furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t remember anything before that. That doesn’t make me a girl, it just means that I don’t remember everything.” Her heart pounded, she has a duck, she had to be, it was all she had ever known. “Next question.”

“Ahiru-”

“Next question, please.” 

He made a face, like he was considering her. “Fine. Next question.” 

She was a duck, she couldn’t be anything else. She couldn’t be. 

 

“Ahiru?” Rue looked pleasantly surprised as Ahiru walked into the studio in the middle of the day rather than for her usual evening class. “What are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to talk to you about something, if that’s alright.” 

“Of course, let me, uh-” Rue looked down at her class, all young children, perhaps the oldest was thirteen. “Just do that last routine again, alright?”

The class groaned, but started anyway. 

Rue lead Ahiru out into the hallway. “Yes?”

“Do you need any teachers?”

“What? Why do you ask-” Rue looked past Ahiru, out into the waiting room. “That.” 

Ahiru looked back, and smiled. Rue was looking at Mytho. 

“That’s my brother. He was a ballet teacher in Berlin, but quit to come live with me once he heard I was awake. I thought it would do you well if you could have two classes going on at once.” 

Rue nodded. “Right. Of course.”

Mytho turned to look at them, his smile fading as he made eye contact with Rue. He started walking towards them.

He held out his hand. “My name is Mytho. And yours?”

“Rue.” She told him, placing her hand gently in his, he brought it up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Well.” She cleared her throat. “I would need to see what you can do, how advanced you are.”

“I’d say quite.” 

Ahiru smiled before leaving them, going back into the class with the kids and watching them perform.

“You’re Ahiru, right?” One of them shouted. 

“Huh?”

“You’re name! It’s Ahiru right?”   

“Y-yeah, how did you know?” 

A little girl stepped away from the barre, and while her hair was blonde, it was obvious who it was. “I’m Uzura! My mom works at the hospital! I saw you while you were sleeping!” 

“Uzura.” Ahiru whispered, mainly to herself. She never thought she’d get to see Uzura again, not after the story ended. “I was, now I’m awake.” 

Uzura smiled. “I see that!” 

Rue and Mytho stepped back into the class. “Students, meet your new teacher, Mytho. Some of you will probably begin taking his class instead of mine in the weeks to come.” 

The students looked at each other before they cheered. 

“Hey, what does that mean?” 

Rue started berating the children and gave them a very advanced set to do as punishment. 

Ahiru leaned over to Mytho, “What did you do?” 

Mytho smirked and shrugged. “Just showed her some of my moves.”

“In the hall? It’s kind of crapped in there, how did you manage that?”

“No, not moves like that.”

Ahiru quirked an eyebrow. “Than what?”

Mytho shook his head, before knocking on her temple. “Hello, anyone in there? I showed her some  _ moves _ .” 

“I still don’t get it.”

Mytho let out an exasperated sigh. “I flirted with her a bit, Ahiru.” 

“Mytho! She’s engaged!”

“Oh. She is?” He looked sad. His eyes found her so easily, and for a moment, he took her in. “Why didn’t you say?”

“She doesn’t love him, I was hoping if she met you, she’d break it off.”

“Ahiru! That’s bad!”

“It’s not like she loves him or anything!” Ahiru looked over at Rue, correcting Uzura’s form. “She doesn't belong with him.”

“Who does she belong with? Me?”

Ahiru looked at him, and nodded. 

He scoffed. “You can’t be serious, there’s no way she’d go for a guy like me.” He sighed. “She deserves a prince.” 

Ahiru nodded, she patted Mytho’s arm. “She does.

“Hang on, I’m gonna invite her to the lake.” Ahiru walked away.

“The la- Wait, Ahiru, don’t!” 

“Straight leg, stop sticking your bottom out!” 

“Hey, Rue?” Ahiru tapped her on the shoulder.

“Yes?” 

“Mytho is planning on going to the lake for my birthday since I’ve missed the last few, would you like to come with us? Fakir’s coming as well.” 

Shock covered her features. “You got Fakir to come? Hold on, when did you start being friends with Fakir, Ahiru?” 

“I ran into him at the bookstore, we kind of meet up every Saturday to talk.” Ahiru let a small grin cover her features. “But, I invited him to come as well, won’t you come? Please?” 

Rue snuck a glance at Mytho. “And you’re brother will be there?” 

Ahiru nodded. “It’s for his birthday as well.” 

“I suppose I can shift my schedule around to go, just tell Anna when it is and she’ll write it down in my calendar.”

Ahiru wrapped her arms around Rue. “I will! It’s gonna be so much fun!” 

“I can’t wait, just-” She cleared her throat. “I can’t swim, so I probably won’t be going into the lake, is that fine?” 

“Of course! Just as long as you’re there! We’ll go hiking, and have campfires and all kinds of fun stuff!”

“Should I bring anything?”

“Hmm.” Ahiru put a finger on her chin. “Maybe, I’m not sure, ask Mytho, he’s planning it all!”

Ahiru went back to Mytho and left, leaving the dates with Anna. 

 

Ahiru stood on a stool, dusting a music box sitting on the top shelf just so, while Fakir stood below her. He had come in to visit Charon - not his guardian, but still a man he knew - and found Ahiru there.

“You’re just everywhere, aren’t you?”

She giggled. “I suppose I am, are you looking for omething?”

“No, just came to talk to Charon when I saw you.”

“Oh, you know Charon?”

His lip twitched, “Not the way you think I do, I just come in here a lot, Autor used to drag me along to this place since he doesn’t have a car, and I would talk to Charon while he looked around.”

“Oh, at least you still know him.” She smiled down at him.

She placed back the old music box she had been dusting and turned her attentions to an old, old, old vase when the door opened and crashed against the wall. Ahiru gasped and held out her hands as the vase fell, just barely catching it. 

“You! You’ve been keeping my daughter locked away here and I’ve come to take her back!”

Oh, no.

“Ma’am, please, why don’t you sit down, and-” Charon tried to contemplate her. 

“No! Where is my baby!” 

Ahiru placed the vase back on the shelf and scurried off her stool. 

“Ahiru, who is that?” Fakir asked, following her as she hid behind one of the shelves.

“Elora. She’s my mother here.” Ahiru shook her head. “But I know she’s not.” 

“You’re going to tell me where she is now or I will call the police!”

“Why does she think Charon’s kidnapped you?” He asked, he stood in front of Ahiru and picked up an old book, pretending to be a customer so he could keep a better eye on Elora while allowing Ahiru to hide.

“I don’t know.” 

“I’ll find her myself!”

“She’s coming over here.” Fakir warned.

Ahiru looked at the floor, perhaps she needed to have this conversation and Elora would finally leave her alone. She stepped out from her hiding space and stepped up to meet her Mother.

“Oh, Ahiru! Look at you!” Elora grabbed her wrist and started to drag her along. 

“Mama, stop!” Ahiru clawed at Elora’s hand, but her grip was strong. 

“We’re going home, tell this nice man goodbye.” Elora turned to Charon, who had followed her. “Thank you for letting her play storekeeper, but it’s time for her to go home.”

Elora took another step, but a hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder. “Let her go.” 

Ahiru looked over at Fakir, his eyes sharp and deadly. She was glad they weren’t aimed at her. 

“Young man, this is my daughter and frankly none of your business.” 

“Ahiru, would you like to leave with her?”

Ahiru shook her head.

“I believe Ahiru is able to make choices for herself, being a young woman, herself. Let. Her. Go.”

Elora’s grip loosened just enough for Ahiru to slip away and she stood behind Fakir.

“Ahiru!” Elora called out. “Get back here! You’re embarrassing me!”

“Madam, you have done that for yourself.” Fakir told her with a scorching tongue.

“Mama,” Ahiru said, stepping out from behind Fakir so she stood next to him instead. “I’m not a child, I left and you need to accept that.” 

“Ahiru, I am your mother, I sat by your side for ten years, waiting for you to wake up.”

“And I woke up with you by my side, but I’m not a baby anymore, you can’t treat me like one. I made the choice to leave, to work here, to live away from you, please you have to accept that.” 

“You- you choose this, over me?” She placed her hand over her heart.

Ahiru nodded. 

“I see.” Elora didn’t know what to do next. “Will I… ever see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call you once I do.” 

Elora looked between the three of them, “Don’t forget me.”

“I won’t.” Ahiru shook her head. “I promise.”

Elora nodded and walked away. 

“Ahiru, are you alright?” Charon asked. “Who was that?”

Ahiru watched as Elora left, her car driving away from the little antique shop. “I don’t know.”

Charon opened his mouth to say more, but shut it, deciding that it wasn’t his business. 

“How long did you have to live with that?” Fakir asked her.

“Too long.” Ahiru rubbed her forehead and moaned. “I think Drosselmeyer put her there so I wouldn’t run off and try to find you. That I would be happy with a family.”

“Obviously, that didn’t work.” 

Ahiru went back to her stool. “I think he’s had worse ideas.”

“Like what?”

“Like making his grandson a main character in his story.”

“Or making a duck into a princess?”

Ahiru hummed. “No, I think I like that idea.” 

“You like that idea because it made you a princess.”

She smiled. “No, I like that idea because I never would have met you without it.”

Fakir shook his head.

“What?”

“You’re crazy. You’re absolutely insane.”

“And yet you’re still here.” Ahiru starting dusting the vase again. “Perhaps you’re the crazy one.”

“Perhaps I’m the crazy one for believing it.” 

She looked down at him. “You do?”

“I don’t understand it myself. It’s impossible, it’s all impossible, but ...” He looked up at her, eyes gazing into hers and never leaving. “I can’t help but think it’s true.” 

“Fakir, did you come to talk to me or just to bother my worker?” Charon teased, standing at the other end of the shelf. 

“Yeah I did, but don’t think it’s because I missed you, old man.” Fakir walked away, leaving Ahiru to finish her work, but she smiled nonetheless.

He believed her.  _ He believed her. _


	5. July

Ahiru stood at the bottom of the staircase that lead up to her apartment, pulling at the bottom of her shorts as Mytho tried to place all of their bags into his trunk.

“You sure he’s got this?” Rue asked her. Rue had volunteered, but Mytho assured her he could do it. 

“I’m not sure anymore.” Ahiru laid her face on her arms, folded on the railing. “He still has to fit whatever Fakir brings, too.”

Rue groaned. “I still can’t believe you invited him.” 

Ahiru shrugged. “It’ll be fun.”

Rue shook her head. “I’ll go help him.” 

Rue walked over to Mytho and slapped his hands away and started reorganizing the trunk. Ahiru smiled, it was nice seeing them together, the way it was meant to be.

Charon came out from the store and came next to her. “Do they need help?” He gestured to Rue and Mytho. Rue had taken everything out of the trunk to try and strategize it’s placement. 

“I think they got it. Thank you again for allowing Rue and Fakir to leave their cars here.” 

“Sure, it’ll make the place look busy.” Charon chuckled and patted her shoulder. “Although, Fakir doesn’t have a car.”

“He doesn’t? What does he have?” Just as she asked, there was a sound like a roaring monster. 

“I believe that’s him.” Charon nodded his head to the street as Fakir rolled into the parking lot in what looked like a blacker, thicker, more muscular version of her yellow bike. 

Fakir placed his feet on the ground and put a stop to the roaring before pulling off his helmet.

“Fakir!” Ahiru shouted and waved to him before rushing over. “Hey, Fakir, what is this?”

He ran his fingers through his hair before hooking the strap of his helmet on the handlebar. “It’s a motorcycle, or a bike.” 

“I have a bike, too!” She pointed over to her yellow bike, leaning against and chained to the railing. 

His shoulders shook in mirth. “This is a little different. I’d offer a ride, but I think you’re brother would kill me.” Fakir jutted his chin over at Mytho. 

Ahiru looked behind her to see Mytho fuming. “Why’s he mad?”

“Motorcycles don’t have the best reputation for being safe.” Fakir swung his leg off the bike and stood next to her. “I’ll offer again when he’s not here.” 

Fakir started walking the bike over to a more concealed parking space and Ahiru trailed behind him. 

“You used to ride a horse.” She told him.”I have no idea where he came from, Charon didn’t have a stable.”

“Deus ex machina.” He shrugged, pulling the kickstand down. “Maybe I stole the horse.” 

Ahiru playfully gasped, “Everytime?”

“How many times did I need a horse?”

“You were very dramatic, you had to make an entrance.” 

“I think I would have had to been to keep up with all the magical princes and princesses around me.”

“You have a point.” Ahiru turned and smiled at Mytho as he came up to them. He stood behind Ahiru, placing his hand on her shoulder.

“Mytho.” He held out his hand. “I’m her big brother.”

“Fakir.” Fakir took Mytho’s hand. “We’ve met before, we had school together.”

“Funny, I don’t remember.” 

“Probably wouldn’t, I never talked to anyone.” 

It was far from civil small talk, there was anger hidden in Mytho’s tone, and barely concealed coldness coming from Fakir.

“Wait-” Ahiru pushed herself between them, when did they get so close to each other? “Stop.”

“I’m just meeting your friend, Ahiru, there’s no need for worry.” Mytho told her, but his eyes, scalding eyes, remained glued on Fakir. 

“You’re brother’s a good guy.” Fakir told her, his expression remained aloof, but he also didn’t take his eyes off Mytho, poised like a sword, ready to strike. 

Ahiru huffed before grabbing Fakir’s wrist and dragging him away. 

“Fakir!” She groaned his name. “You’re supposed to be friends, why are you being mean to each other.”

“We’re not being mean to each other.” He reassured her. “He’s sizing me up, he thinks I’m going to take his baby sister away from him. He’s just being protective.”

She fiddled with her hands. “You have to be his friend, okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry about it. We’ll be friends by the end of this trip, I promise.”

Her back straightened. She knew he kept his promises. “Okay.” 

They walked back to Mytho, who looked just a tad miffed. “I’ll take your bag.” Mytho held out his hand and Fakir took the backpack off his shoulders. 

“Thank you, Mytho.” 

Mytho walked over to the trunk and handed Rue the last bag. She slammed the trunk. “Done!” 

“Alright, let’s get going.” Mytho pulled the keys from his pocket. 

“Shotgun!” Rue called.

Ahiru flinched. 

Fakir put his hand on her arm and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “It’s just a phrase, it means she’s taking the passenger seat.” 

“Oh.” 

Fakir opened up her door for her before getting in the car himself. 

Rue started fiddling with the radio until she landed on a station playing one of the songs Elora had shown Ahiru as Mytho pulled out onto the road.

Fakir leaned down to whisper to Ahiru once more. “So we were friends.”

Ahiru nodded. “You found him when you were young, you swore to protect him and be his knight.” She giggled. “You were probably six or seven when you promised that.” 

“And Rue, she knew him as well.” 

“Mmhmm, you two used to fight over him like a toy, or so I’m told.”

“What are his interests?” 

Ahiru considered it, she knew he carried over his interest in ballet over to his world, but what else? “Ask about ballet, he was a teacher in Berlin while I was asleep.”

Fakir nodded, he leaned over, resting his arms on the shoulders of the two front seats. “Hey, Mytho.” 

“Yes?” Mytho asked, seeming surprised. 

“Ahiru was telling me you were a ballet teacher in Berlin, I’ve never been to Berlin, what’s it like there?”

Ahiru smiled as Mytho started to glow as he talked about Berlin and what it was like, the friends he had, the people he met.

She leaned back in her seat and watched the trees fly by. 

 

Mytho jumped out of the car as soon as he was parked. “Can you believe it, Ahiru? I think it’s even better than when we were kids.” 

Ahiru got out of the car and looked out over the massive lake, a deep blue, reflecting the trees and the clouds as they floated by. There was a dock right in front of them that held several boats, and men with their sons fishing off it’s end. Boats zipped by on the water, people swam and splashed each other. It was a sight to behold.

“So I got my hands on the area we used to camp at, it’s just a little ways into the woods.” Mytho told her, coming around to the back of the car to start unloading. “Alright, everyone grab what belongs to you and we’ll make our way to the campsite.”

Ahiru put her bag on her shoulders, she pulled the cooler along with her before grabbing what would be hers and Rue’s tent.

“Here.” Fakir grabbed the handle of the cooler. “I don’t have much, let me take that.”

“Okay!” She smiled, letting the cooler pass between them.

Mytho started leading them down the trail. “It’s just over this way.” He said, Rue coming to stand beside him. 

“So, that guy’s a prince?” Fakir asked, they walked a few feet behind Rue and Mytho.

“Yep, Prince Siegfried of the Swan Kingdom.” 

“He’s wearing matching tropical, bermuda shorts and a button up.” Fakir shook his head. “He’s not dressing himself in his kingdom, is he?” 

Ahiru giggled, “No, I don’t think so, normally he looked a bit more princely whenever he came to visit.” 

Mytho came to a stop and he smiled and nodded. “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you our place of residency for the remainder of this trip.” Mytho made a wide gesture and they stepped into the glade. 

It was large and open, unshared by anyone else. 

Rue grinned. “It’s nice, I’m surprised.”

“Surprised? Did you ever doubt me?”

“Will it make you upset if I say yes.” She teased.

“Perhaps.”

“I don’t know which is worse.” Fakir said, “Them together, or her and Autor. C’mon, let’s get camp going.” 

Fakir grabbed the tent from Mytho’s hands as he passed, Mytho made a small remark about how he was going to set up the tents and followed after him. They chose two spots for the tents to go, far away enough that nothing would happen, but not too far so they could still hear each other if something happened. 

Rue and Ahiru stood by and watched, standing in the shade, talking about what Mytho had planned for the next few days. 

It wasn’t too terribly hot, but there was no wind to cool them off and the sun beat down relentlessly on the two young men. 

Fakir stood and wiped at his borrow, he shook his jacket off. 

“Oh.” Ahiru blushed as she stared at his arms. The months up until now has been cool and cold, enough so that he always wore his jacket. But those arms were strong, strong enough to hold her and all of her woes and worries.

He came over to her. “Here, will you hold this for me?” 

She nodded, taking the heavy jacket in her arms and hanging it over her shoulder. 

Rue rolled her eyes. “Is your jacket too precious to be placed on the floor?”

He rolled his eyes, “I don’t you’d put anything you own on the ground.” 

Mytho called Fakir back as the tent started to fall. Fakir jogged back, putting the tent poles back into place.

“You’re staring.” Rue said, startling Ahiru.

Ahiru looked over at her, a smirk on her face. 

“Staring at what?” 

“A man at work.” Rue crossed her arms. 

Ahiru started stuttering, trying to deny it. 

Rue laughed, “Ahiru, it’s fine. But of all the men in the world, why did it have to be Fakir?” 

Ahiru let her eyes rest on Fakir again, he wasn’t smiling, but his features had softened as Mytho was talking with him. “I don’t think you get a choice.” 

“No.” Rue looked down at her hand, a golden ring sitting on her left ring finger. “You don’t.” But she smiled and nudged Ahiru’s shoulder, “Hey, don’t get embarrassed because you were staring, you’re an adult woman, there’s nothing wrong with having sexual-“

“What! I don’t-!” Ahiru shook her head before groaning out her friend's name. 

Rue laughed. “Ahiru calm down, you’re telling me that you don’t think about Fakir in that way?” 

Ahiru blushed but her gaze had turned back to Fakir. He had always been dear to her heart, but she never looked at him the way she did now. It felt wrong. And, dirty. “I haven’t. Do you look at Mytho like that?”

“What? Ahiru don’t be absurd. That’s my co-worker! He’s- I’m engaged! I would never-“ she huffed. 

Ahiru failed to hide her laughter. “You’re just as bad as I am.” A wind blew through the meadow, making Ahiru shiver. It was warm in the sun, but the shade was cool, the breeze making it worse and Ahiru wasn’t quite used to the shorts and t-shirt just yet. 

“Put on his jacket, he’ll like that.” Rue told her. 

Ahiru looked down at the jacket, black and made of leather, several years old and worn until it was softened. She slipped it over her bare arms and stopped shivering.

“He won’t mind?”

“He won’t. Trust me.”

“Hey, Rue?”

“Yes, dear?”

Ahiru fiddled with the zipper. “He’s not- what’s the word here? He’s not with anyone is he?” 

“You mean is he dating anyone?”

“Uh, yes?”

“No, he pushes everyone away,” Rue looked over at him, considering him, studying him. “I’m surprised you even convinced him to go on this trip. He seems fond of you. He’s not even fond of Autor.”

Ahiru held up her hands, wiggling her fingers until they came out of the too long sleeves. Fakir stood and turned to look at them, just as Ahiru was able to free her thumb. 

 

Mytho had scheduled the trip to be a week long and had jammed packed their days with activities. 

Monday’s task was getting to the lake and setting everything up and eating lunch before they went for a hike around the lake. 

Which would have been nice if it wasn’t so hot. 

Mytho was doing splendidly, he was leading them down a well trodden path and carried a backpack filled with water and snacks.

Ahiru felt fine, if not a little hot, but she knew Fakir had grown hot because his ponytail had moved from the nape of his neck to sprouting out at the crown of his head. 

Rue, however, was worse for wear. 

“Mytho!” She panted, her voice sounding thin. “Was this really necessary? It’s the middle of the day, for goodness sake! Wouldn’t this have made more sense for the morning?” 

“Rue, shut up and keep walking.” Fakir shouted. 

Rue had been pawing at Mytho, but stopped to glare at her adversary. 

“We could stop and rest for a moment, if everyone wants to.” 

“Yes! Please.” Rue begged.

“We should keep going.” Fakir said. “I think we could lap this lake a few more times before we stop for a break.”

“I’d like a break!” Ahiru called out, raising her hand over her head. 

Mytho lead them to the banks of the lake and pulled out the waters and snacks. Sitting under the branches of a great tree, they took pause, Rue sitting close to the water, dipping her hands in to try and cool off. 

Mytho came to sit by Ahiru. 

“How do you like it so far? Just like you remember?”

Ahiru looked out over the lake, and smiled. “I like it a lot, it’s a nice change.” It was just a plus that it reminded her of home. 

“So, that Fakir guy, what a scoundrel.” 

Ahiru laughed. “Hardly, I already told you, he’s all bark and no bite.”

“He doesn’t frighten you? I don’t think I’ve seen him smile once, he always has that grimace on. That glare.” 

“He used to, I thought he was really scary, but now that I know him, I would never think that.”

The two looked over at Fakir, he chose to stay standing, leaning against an adjacent tree taking careful sips from a bottle of water. 

“I always saw you with someone different.” Mytho admitted. 

“Someone more like you?”

He nodded. “Someone more like me.”

“He’s been trying to be friends with you.” 

Mytho scoffed. “Yeah I noticed that, after you dragged him off and told him to play nice.” 

“You started it.”

“I would never- Fine, but he just showed up with that motorcycle, they account for fourteen percent of all auto related accidents.”

“That’s not a lot.”

“Sure it is!”

Ahiru laughed. “We should get back to the trail if we want to be back before the sun sets.” 

 

They sat around a campfire, watching as Mytho tried cooking food using only tin foil and the fire. 

“So, they don’t have showers here? That’s what you’re telling me?” Rue groaned. 

Ahiru gave her a sympathetic smile. “No, the pamphlet says you can rinse off in the lake but not to bring in soap.”

“We’re here for a whole week! That’s unacceptable.”

Ahiru tapped her chin. “Well, we could rinse off in the water, then just use soap on the banks and bring a bottle to rinse ourselves off, then the soap would go into the ground.”

“And risk being seen?” 

“You should be fine.” Mytho said, wiping at his brow. “The ranger told me that the only other campers were on the other side of the lake, I doubt they’d be able to see you all the way across.”

“What about all the people from earlier?” Ahiru asked.

“Just enjoying the lake for the day.” Mytho said, shrugging, as if to say he didn’t have the real answer. “Go down and bathe, and if you think anyone’s watching, shout and Fakir and I will come to your rescue.” 

“And risk having Fakir see me naked? I think I’d rather die.” 

“Or you could just not shower for the whole week.” Fakir said. “Though I’m sure your hair will suffer greatly for it.” 

Later that evening, Rue and Ahiru had gathered all of their bathing supplies and headed to the lake. 

“I’m just glad it’s dark.” Rue looked up at the sky, only a sliver of the moon was present. 

“Are you really worried about people watching us?” Ahiru asked, as if she didn’t think of the threat until now. 

“People have a tendency to be despicable.” Rue placed her hand gently on Ahiru’s shoulder. “Relaxed, like Mytho said, if we think someone’s watching, to shout and he’ll be there.” 

They came down to a spot that was surrounded by bushes and low hanging branches.

“There.” Rue said, placed her things down. “That should be good coverage.” 

“Rue.” Ahiru said, pulling her shirt over her head. “You like Mytho, don’t you?”

“I-” Rue sighed, she fiddled with the ring on her finger before taking it off and placing it in the grass. “I don’t know. I thought I liked Autor, but now here I am flirting with some other man I barely just met.” 

Ahiru stuck her toe in the water, it was cold, but it wouldn’t kill her; she stepped in, dunking her head and wetting her hair.

“In the hospital, Fakir said you didn’t love him.” 

“What does Fakir know about love?” She asked, a spark of anger behind her words. “He’s only ever pushed people away, he’s never loved anyone in his life.” 

“His parents?” 

“That’s- That’s not fair, everyone loves their parents. He’s never made the choice to love someone, to fall in love. He didn’t know what he was saying.” 

Ahiru swam up to the bank and folded her arms on the grass. “Do you think you know what love is?” 

Rue walked slowly into the lake, much slower than Ahiru had, and walked out until she was waist deep; she hugged herself.

“Ahiru, if- if I were to say I was falling in love with your brother, would you think me a terrible person? Flirting and longing while my fiance lies in a hospital bed?”

“We have to listen to what our hearts tell us.” 

Rue took a deep breath before completely immersing herself into the water. 

 

The next few days went by fast, Mytho had planned many a great and fun adventures for them, perhaps what should have been Ahiru’s favorite was the morning before their last day; Mytho had planned on them to go swimming at the lake’s beach. What should have been, but wasn’t.

Well, it was her favorite, she knew Rue would go swimming, or at least not too far out, and Fakir wore pants and a shirt. 

“You didn’t pack something to go swimming in?” She asked him, holding a basket filled with sandwiches in front of her. 

“I don’t swim.” 

“I suppose you never liked to swim, though you did come into the water once or twice.”

Mytho stopped to pull out a large blanket big enough for the four of them to sit comfortably. Ahiru set down her basket and removed her shirt and her shorts, she wanted to run off into the water more than anything in the whole world-

“Hold it.” Mytho said. “Did you put on sunscreen?”

“What’s-? No?” She looked over at Fakir, and he mouthed  _ later. _

Mytho sighed and shook his head. He pulled a blue bottle out of his bag. “You’re going to get skin damage if you forget to put on sunscreen.” He lathered some on her arms. 

She shrieked. “That’s cold!”

“Not any colder than the water you’re about to jump into.” He handed her the bottle. “Make sure you put it all over any skin that’s exposed to the sun.” Mytho walked back to Rue, who had sat down and produced a book, one she had been reading all week. “You should make sure you have on sunscreen too, your skin is too stunning for it to be marred by the sun’s glare.”

Fakir placed himself at Ahiru’s side.

“What’s sunscreen?” She asked, careful not to be too loud lest someone heard. 

“Put it on.”

Ahiru squirted some out onto her hand. 

“It’s kind of like a lotion people put on their skin so they don’t get sunburnt. It protects the skin from UV light.”

Ahiru bent over to put sunscreen on her ankles, she looked up, “What’s a UV light?”

“Ultraviolet, it’s hard to explain, but it’s just bad with too much exposure.”

“Oh, will it hurt me?”

“It can, if you get a sunburn, and people touch your skin, it hurts.” 

“Wow.” Ahiru wrapped her arm around her shoulder to reach her back, then tried from the side. “Fakir, can you get my back?” She offered him the bottle.

“What?” He blushed and stepped back. 

“I can’t reach my back.” She turned around and pointed at her exposed backside. “Please?” 

“Fine.” He took the bottle and poured some out before snapping the lid closed and tossing it onto the blanket. “It’s cold.” 

A shiver ran up her spine, she could feel Fakir standing a lot closer to her than he had before and now his hand pressed against her spine. 

“Okay, I think you’re good.” 

Ahiru stepped away and gave him a sheepish smile. “Thank you.” She told him before running off into the water. Not sure why the feeling of his hand running up her back made her heart pound. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t held her before, pet her as a duck. It felt like her skin was burning, but she doubted it was a sunburn, she hoped jumping into the cold water would cool her down. 

She was surrounded by throngs of people and found herself needing more space. She couldn’t think of a time he touched her like that. 

As a girl, he had danced with her, the first time was an intense battle of wills, the second was sweet, like a song he hummed just for her. 

As a duck, he would carry her around, he would hold her, and he would even dance with her. 

But, still, he had never touched her so blatantly, his hand pressed against the soft, bare skin of her back. What did it matter? It’s not like it meant anything, or anything!

Ahiru stopped swimming, she was much further out than she was supposed to be, past where everyone else floated and bobbed.

She swam in circles, trying to cool off and not let it bother her, let it take over and curse her the way it had. 

She became lost to her thoughts and started to swim, not back to the beach, but rather a more empty side of the lake, she stayed close to the edges, never going farther than she thought she could handle. 

As she came close to the bank, she thought she would step out and walk back to the beach, perhaps that would be safer and faster. Ahiru found that human legs were nothing compared to duck feet when it came to swimming. 

She looked behind her, the beach and it’s swimmers still in sight, at least she hadn’t gone far.

But, that’s when she heard it. 

A gunshot, loud, and violent, ripping through the air.

She slapped her hands to her ears. 

She was flying again, she had just flown over the town and was coming back to her lake when the sound of a loud crack filled the sky. Pain. 

Pain everywhere. 

She fell.

She fell and fell and fell and  _ fell. _

She couldn’t stop falling, her shoulder burned, the gunshot sounded again. 

Ahiru tried to stay afloat in the water, but she saw something fall, it fell into the lake in front of her. She heard the dogs barking. 

It floated towards her, red pouring from it’s shoulder. 

Her jaw trembled, she touched the feathers of the duck that lay dead in the water. 

There was a second gunshot and she screamed.

She couldn’t stop screaming, the gunshot echoed in her ears, in her mind, never leaving her. Pain, so much pain, lacing through her shoulder and down her wing. She was bleeding, there was blood everywhere, blood. So much blood. She couldn’t stop screaming she was going to die, she was going to-

“Ahiru!” 

She fell in the water once more and struggled to swim to the surface, her wings flapping uselessly, her shoulder too painful to move, to keep her above the water, she was sinking. Blood was everywhere; she would die here.

A figure jumped into the water after her and she felt a pair of arms surround her. She was pulled to the surface and she sucked in air.

Arms carried her out of the lake and onto the side of the bank; arms laid her down, so gentle, so sweet.

She blinked water from her eyes.

“Fakir.” She said, reaching for him. 

His fingers were pressed on her neck. “Are you alright?” He brushed the hair out of her eyes. “You’re alright. You’re alright.” But not to her, to himself, to reassure himself that she was fine. That she was alive.

“Ahiru!” 

Ahiru turned her head and saw Mytho and Rue running towards her.

Rue knelt down at her head. “Oh, my dear, are you alright?”

“I’m sorry.” Ahiru gulped, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, don’t be.”

“There aren’t supposed to be hunters here.” Mytho said, glaring at the men who collected the dead duck. 

Fakir stood and stalked after them.

Ahiru put her hand on her shoulder, it palpitated with pain, though whether they were phantom or real, she could not tell.

There was yelling and Ahiru turned her head to look over at Fakir, his hands on the collar of the hunter, lifting him off the ground and shaking him. 

“Fakir, don’t-” She tried to sit up, but Rue pushed at her shoulder.

“Rest. Don’t move.”

Mytho stood and marched over to Fakir, but his righteous anger was turned on the hunter as well. 

“Rue?” Ahiru reached her hand to Rue’s, wrapping it around hers. “Rue, am I bleeding?”

“No, you’re fine. Ahiru, what happened?” 

“My shoulder.” Ahiru patted her scar.

Rue moved back the strap of her swimsuit and ran a finger over the round wound. “No, this is old. Ahiru, what happened?” 

Ahiru shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t- Did you hear me?” 

“Everyone did, there were gunshots and everyone stopped, then you screamed. Somehow,” Rue shook her head in disbelief. “Fakir knew it was you, he shot up and ran to where your scream came from. When Mytho and I followed, he was pulling you out of the lake. He was so gentle, it looked like he was cradling you.” 

Ahiru sat up, pressing her hand against her shoulder, the pain was fading, but it was still there. 

Rue and Ahiru sat there while a team of rangers came up to the side of the lake, when Fakir had run off the save Ahiru, someone ran off in the opposite direction to fetch the park rangers. 

The hunter was taken under custody until the police got up the lake and the duck was released back into the water, it’s lifeless body floated across the wind waves.

Fakir and Mytho talked to the rangers while a woman came up beside Rue and Ahiru. 

“Did you get hurt?” 

Ahiru shook her head. 

“Did the gunshot startle you? Causing you to start drowning?” 

A second ranger came up beside them and wrapped Ahiru in a dry blanket. 

Ahiru shook her head. 

“Have you had a traumatic experience with a gun before?”  

“The duck… In the water.” 

“Did someone force you to shoot a duck when you were too young?”

Ahiru shook her head. “I was falling.” 

“How do you-”

“Leave her alone.” 

Ahiru looked up at Fakir, come to stand behind the ranger. 

The ranger balked, the expression he wore was one filled with poison and daggers. “Sir, I just need to get all the facts for-”

“You’re making it worse. There was a hunter hunting where he wasn’t supposed to, worry about that.”

The ranger opened her mouth the argue but stood to walk away instead.

Fakir knelt down by her side. “Can you stand?”

“You got in the water.”

“Ahiru-”

“Thank you.” 

His countenance softened. “We should go back to camp. Can you stand?”

Her legs felt like jelly, “No.” 

Fakir nodded before slipping his hands under her knees and behind her back, and stood, he made sure the blanket was wrapped securely around her.

Mytho came up to stand beside them.

“I’m going to take her back to camp.” Fakir told him. “You and Rue can stay here if you’d like.” 

Fakir didn’t give Mytho a chance to reply, he had already walked away. 

Ahiru leaned her head against his chest as they walked back to the beach, while they seemed curious, they didn’t dare come up to Fakir, she couldn’t see, but she thought his gaze had turned murderous again. 

“Fakir.” She murmured. 

“Hold on, we’re almost there.” 

She nodded. “I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“Everything was fine, until I swam off.” 

Fakir took a deep breath, his chest moving against her. “That hunter would have shot that gun no matter where you were. You can’t blame yourself.” 

He stepped into their camp before opening up her tent and placing her down on her sleeping bag. He sat down next to her. 

“What happened?”

Ahiru shook her head. “I’m not sure, I heard the gunshot and then it was like I was reliving the moment I got shot, except worse. And then.” She felt hot tears pour over her cheeks. “There was a duck in the water, surrounded in a pool of blood, and I reached out and touched his feathers. I just started screaming, I couldn’t stop.” 

“They call that PTSD.” Fakir said. “Soldiers will return from war, a car will backfire and it's like they’re back on the battlefield.”

“I’m not a soldier.” She shook her head, the pain in her shoulder finally dulling into nonexistence. 

“From what you’ve told me, I’m pretty sure you are.”

Ahiru averted her eyes. 

“Why don’t you sleep? I’ll talk to Mytho when he gets here.”

Ahiru laid down, her eyes already closing. “What will you tell him?”

“I’ll come up with something.” He stood to leave when her hand shot out to grab his wrist.

“Wait. Don’t leave.”

Fakir studied her, he nodded. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep.” 

“Okay.” Ahiru let her eyes flutter close. 

In her dreams, she floated on a lake, staring at a sky filled with migrating ducks. They were safe. 

She was safe.

 

Mytho made the decision to leave the next morning rather than in the afternoon and started packing up the car again early the next day. 

Ahiru stood in front of her tent and stretched. 

She looked out over the lake, she saw a raft of ducks on the water, a group of female ducks, ducklings trailing in their mother’s wake.

Mytho came to stand behind her. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“About what happened yesterday.” Mytho gestured to the lake. “I didn’t think-”

“There aren’t supposed to be hunters here, it’s not your fault.” Ahiru smiled, she wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you, I really liked coming back here.”

He was shocked, but wrapped his own arms around her. “Happy birthday.” 

“Happy birthday.” She said back. 

Ahiru had decided that once everything went back to normal, she would like to do this again, with Rue, Mytho and Fakir all by her side. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *what? You think I was going to give Fakir a car? A little Buick? A little tan car with leather seating? Grow up.
> 
> *arms are sexy, Fakir is sexy, Ahiru is like 23 now, she’s allowed to admire a sexy man.
> 
> *Dasseinhundin has a FanFic where Ahiru gets shot as duck, the implications of whether or not she was okay where up in the air, but go read it, it’s very sad, but I grabbed inspiration from it. Also, if you feel like I misrepresented what it’s like to have flashbacks in a situation like this tell me, and I may fix this, but I will keep it in mind for the next time I write PTSD scene (This was my first time, so be critical but not hateful).


	6. August

Ahiru sat, pouring over the book Fakir had bought. 

Their Saturday meetings had started taking over their weekdays, and when Ahiru didn’t have ballet, she found herself in Fakir’s company. 

Fakir would come by her apartment on his motorcycle to take her away, much to Mytho’s chagrin, she would sit behind him, her arms holding tight to his waist. Her first ride, she screamed and wouldn’t let him go even after they had stopped. 

He knocked on her door and asked if she was hungry that evening and she said yes. 

Now, she sat across from him in a little booth made for two, a large window to her right from which she could watch the cars roll by. 

He slid a book across the table. 

“What’s this?” She smiled, and picked it up. 

“My journal.” He blushed and kept his eyes glued to the table. “I wanted to show it to you.” 

“Oh!” Ahiru opened the book. 

“It’s old, so that first story I must have been about seventeen?” 

She nodded. 

It started with  _ Once upon a time _ scratched out. 

_ Once there was a boy, he was young and stupid, he thought the world was his and he held it in the palm of his hand.  _

_ But, he would learn that the world is cruel and often doesn’t care for the dreams of young boys.  _

_ It was on a sunny afternoon, everything was well, until- _

“Fakir, what is this?” Ahiru looked up at him, she knew who the little boy was, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to read about what pain he had to go through. 

Not again. 

“Keep reading.”

Ahiru swallowed, but she nodded. 

_ … until he decided to be the hero in his own story.  _

_ He was doing what little boys would do, playing instead of performing chores or doing homework, while his parents made sure he was happy.  _

_ It was in the evening, after the sun had set, long after the little boy should have been in bed.  _

_ There was a sound, like scratching, the backdoor opening. He rose out of his bed and looked past the railing, and saw three men standing in his living room, pulling his and his family’s belongings into bags.  _

_ He stood. _

_ He shouted.  _

_ His parents came out of there room, and the robbers pulled out their defenses.  _

_ Three shots, made as a warning, to maim; not to kill.  _

_ The little boy looked down at this parents, his mother bleeding from her chest, his father from his shoulder and his head.  _

_ He should have kept his mouth shut. _

“Fakir?” Ahiru asked, her voice watery. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure how else to tell you.” Fakir looked out the window, his fingers twisting the ring that sat on his finger. “It’s the only tragedy I could ever write.” His father’s wedding band.  

“I’m glad. You’re not good at them.” 

He chuckled. “No, I don’t think I ever was.” 

“What’s the next story?”

“Read it.” 

She poured over his journal, finding comfort in his writings, his style she knew well, his penmanship so familiar. She closed her eyes, and she was back home, the fire crackling in the fireplace, the scrape of the quill against parchment, another story he would write for her. 

 

Ahiru moaned as she stretched her leg against the barr. She hadn’t been stretching everyday as she should have; it was a mistake. 

There were still a few minutes before class, one of the rare occasions where Pique had picked her up early. 

“Hey, Duck, when were you going to tell us?” 

Ahiru looked over at them, “Tell you what?”

Pique rolled her eyes.

“About Fakir!” Lillie said in a stage whisper. 

“What about him?” Ahiru switched her leg.

“That you’re dating him!” Pique accused. 

“What? No I’m not!” 

“What were you doing last night then?” Lillie got close to her face, their noses almost touching. “Hmm?”

Ahiru rolled her eyes. “I was with Fakir, but we weren’t on a date. We were hungry, that’s all.” 

“Listen,” Pique held up her hand. “I know you think you’re gonna make us jealous, but we won’t be! You can be honest with us.” 

“Jealous? Why would you be jealous?”

Lillie giggled. “We made a list!” 

“A list?”

“No offense to Nordlingen, but they’re kinda lacking in the hot guy department.” Pique said. “So we made a list of the most attractive guys.”

“Fakir’s at the tip top!”

Oh, she had forgotten how much both Pique and Lillie admired Fakir, she thought making a list was a bit much. Although…

Maybe not for them.

“I thought everyone thought Fakir was scary and unapproachable?”

“Well yeah, that’s part of what makes him so hot, he’s mysterious.” Pique closed her eyes, as if to imagine him. “You just want to find out what makes him so grumpy and fix it.” 

“Oh, I don’t think you need to fix him.” Ahiru lowered herself to the floor. “You just need to get to know him.”

Pique and Lillie shared a glance. “So you are together?”

“Well, yeah we’re together all the time.”

“My precious darling!” Lillie grabbed Ahiru’s face. “Are you and Fakir dating! That’s all we want to know!” 

“By all standards you are dating.” Pique said. “Have you kissed yet?”

Ahiru blushed. “What! N-no, I- that’s silly. Why would we kiss?”

“Because making out is awesome?” Pique stated, as if it was painfully obvious.

“Oh my. Pique, I do believe our little Ducky hasn’t kissed anyone yet!” 

Rue stepped into the classroom. “Sorry I’m late! I was talking with Mytho.”

With Rue in the room, they all stood straight, ready for their first set. 

Had Ahiru been kissed? Rue kissed her as a goodbye, and Mytho had kissed her hand as Princess Tutu, but she was sure that wasn’t what Pique and Lillie were talking about. 

Had she been kissed like Rue had been kissed? Mytho pulling her to his chest? Holding her hand to his heart, his lips turning her into a princess? 

No, she hadn’t been kissed like that.

Did she want that? Fakir holding her close? Staring into her eyes with longing, before-

Ahiru gasped, messing up the set. “Oh!”

“Ahiru.” Rue groaned. “Again.” She restarted the music, causing the other girls to glare at Ahiru. 

She smiled sheepishly.

 

Ahiru went into the bookstore an hour before she knew Fakir would come. Her feet carrying her over to the last man she wanted to speak to. 

“Excuse me?” She asked, his eyes had found her as soon as she opened the door and followed her as she came up to his counter. “Do you have any maps?”

“You mean an atlas?” 

“Um-”

“Right this way.” He stepped away from his desk and moved to one of the bookshelves tucked in the back of the bookstore. “Of the world? Germany, America? The Northern Circle?”

“Uh, Germany, please.”

“Ah.” He nodded, he turned sharply and pulled the ladder to him, hopping up until his head brushed against the ceiling. “Here you are, my dear.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Tell me when you’re ready to make a purchase.” He placed the book gently into her hands, but didn’t remove his grip. “I pray you find what you’re looking for.” 

She held the atlas to her chest as he walked past her.

“Okay.” She said to herself. “Now to find Goldcrown.” 

She sat down on the floor and opened the first page. Scribbles and lines covered what looked like a large block labeled Germany. Was that what it looked like? She had never laid her eyes on a map before, Fakir never trusted her with directions, besides her innate sense of where north and south were, she was more likely to get lost.

She found Berlin, the capital of Germany, more in the north, then Nordlingen, sitting closer to the bottom, but she couldn’t find Gold Crown. 

“That’s odd.” 

She flipped through the pages, the first four had divided Germany up into four sections, top right, bottom right, bottom left, top left. 

The top right had several more pages dedicated to it, zooming in on different cities and towns, the roads that connected them, Goldcrown was not in the Northeastern region of germany. 

The book followed pattern, Southeast, Southwest, and Northwest. 

Each city was listed and none were skipped over, even the town of Arnis, with a population of three hundred people. 

She shut the book. 

What was that thing Autor mentioned books having? Were it had everything listed nice and neatly for you to find them? 

The index? 

Ahiru opened the atlas again, this time in search of the index. In the back, a list of towns and cities; a number listed next to them. 

She flipped through the pages until she found the G section. 

Goch……………….127

Goldberg…………...345

Goldkronach ……....244

Golßen……………..13

Gommern…………..99

No. 

_ No.  _ It should have been right there! 

Did Goldcrown exist? 

Was it another fabrication of Drosselmeyer’s? 

She looked at the book in her lap. How was she going to get home when there was no home to return to? 

What if… 

What if Edel was right? What if was all a dream, easily explained away?

“Ahiru?” 

Ahiru gasped, almost dropping the book. “Oh, Fakir, sorry, I was just-” She held up the atlas.

“Looking for Goldcrown?”

She nodded. 

He took the book from her hands, he opened up to the back and shook his head. “It’s not listed.”

“I know.”

Fakir raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, he climbed the ladder instead and put the atlas back.

“Did you want to go upstairs and look for the Prince and the Raven?” 

Ahiru shook her head. “No, I want-” 

He held out his hand, “C’mon, let me take you where I like to go when I need to think.” 

Ahiru took his hand and he helped her up. “I don’t have my helmet.”

“Do you want me to stop by your place to grab it?”

“Sure.”

“Wait here.” Fakir walked off, leaving through the door. 

She watched him walk off, she hugged herself. She felt cold, perhaps wearing a tank top wasn’t the best idea. 

“Did you find what you needed?” The old man came up beside her.

“No.” She shook her head. “No, I didn’t.”

“That’s a shame.” He walked past her, carrying a box filled with new books, he jostled it to try and get a better grip, and a book fell down.

“Wait.” She tried to call him but he was gone, she picked up the book, European fairy tales, the cover a painting of a princess and a witch standing on the banks of a stream. 

She opened the first page, “The White Duck”. A Prince and a thrice-lovely Princess soon to be wed. 

She looked around her to see if the old man had come back to reclaim his book, but when he didn’t she read the fairy-tale. 

A war called the prince away from the princess, and she was left alone, carrying a child, when one day she was confronted by a witch, dressed up as a kind, old woman. It was hot, and the old woman told the princess to step into the river, to cool off, but when she did, the princess was turned into a white duck. 

The old man came back and snatched the book from her. “I was wondering where that went! Don’t take things that don't belong to you, girl.”

“Yes, sir.” That was the second time she had started that story and failed to complete it. 

She heard the muffled sound of a motorcycle and went outside to meet Fakir.

Instead she found a man stepping off his motorcycle and an old man rising from a little car attached to it. 

The young man pulled off his helmet and shook out his hair. 

“Ah, finally, a young lady.” He placed his helmet down on the seat and waltzed over to Ahiru, he took her hand, bowing extravagantly and kissing her knuckles. “My princess, tell me- Ahiru?”

“Yeah, how do you know my name?”

“Mon amour, I once called you mine.”

“Sorry?”

He chuckled. “I cannot believe you are awake, the princess’ presence has returned to grace us.”

“You knew me before my coma?”

“Mon cherie, we dated for two years. Ah, we were but children, at last we can rekindle the flame that started in our youth.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.” she smiled politely.

“How can anyone forget the great Femio? Prince of men.”

Her jaw dropped, memories flooded back of Femio and his bull, but why did he think they dated? 

The sound of a second motorcycle could be heard and she was glad for it, she had no way of escaping as Femio decided to kiss her hand and up her arm.

“Ah, Femio?” Ahiru looked over to Fakir. “I think you should stop that.” 

He chuckled, “Stop what? Praising a goddess? Soon, Ahiru you will know me so well, so intimately, that you won’t know which legs are yours, and which are mine.”

“Uh- no.” 

Fakir’s hand landed heavily on Femio’s shoulder and he was pulled back. “I suggest you step away.” 

“Mon amie, I am prince-”

“I don’t care.” Fakir turned to Ahiru, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” 

“Excusez-moi, but who are you?”

Fakir turned on Femio, “I’m the guy who's going to pulverize you if you don’t back off.”

Femio looked between the two of them before bounding away. “Wait, for me, my dearest Ahiru, for I shall return for you and rescue you from the beast!”

Fakir spun to face her. “You know, you could have asked him to stop.”

“I tried to warn him.”

Fakir looked over his shoulder. “I should-”

“You should leave him alone.” Ahiru placed her hand on his cheek and twisted his head to look at her instead. “I’m fine.”

“Some strange man comes up to you and starts kissing your arm? That’s not-”

“He said he knew me before the coma, but I recognize him from Goldcrown. He’s done worse.”

“That’s-” He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.”That’s not okay. What was that last thing he said to you? I only heard the tail end of it.”

“Oh! It was something about him knowing me so well that I don’t know where my legs end and where his begin. What does that mean? Fakir?”

“I’ll kill him.” His expression was vicious and bloodthirsty, but he had also turned red with embarrassment. 

“Fakir?” Ahiru grabbed at his arm. “What did he mean?”

His cheeks turned a gentle pink. “Ask Rue.” 

“I won’t see Rue until Tuesday, why can’t I ask you?”

“C’mon.” He handed her her helmet.

“Fakir?” 

He slipped on his helmet and didn’t answer, straddling his motorcycle instead. 

Ahiru took her seat behind him, buckling her helmet on, and wrapping her arms around Fakir.

“Ready?”

She nodded. 

Fakir took off down the road that lead out of the city. 

She pressed her chest against his back, her cheek against his shoulder as she watched the world pass her. 

They came up the side of a mountain and when he stopped, Ahiru pulled away. They stood on a small outcrop overlooking the city of Nordlingen.

“Wow.” Ahiru came to stand by the guardrail. 

Fakri hopped over and leaned against it, “After my parent’s death, I ran up here, I don’t remember how I was able to go for so long, but I came here, I stopped and I watched the sun rise over the city. Ever since then I would come here if something ever ailed me.”

She held her chin in her hands. “It’s beautiful.” 

“I know.”

Ahiru looked over at Fakir, his eyes trained on her rather than the city. She blushed and looked back, unable to hide the small smile that overcame her features. 

“So, that guy thinks you dated?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why Drosselmeyer wrote that, maybe just to torment me. He’s done it before.” 

“What are Femio’s crimes?” 

“Well, he never kissed my arm like that, but he would offer me roses, he would kiss my hand. Although, if it was all just a dream-”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Huh?”

“If it was all just a dream… You’ve never said that before.”

Ahiru looked down at her hands. She shrugged. “Goldcrown doesn’t exist, what if it was a dream?” 

“You said this Drosselmeyer was able to make a duck into a girl into a princess, and you’re saying him creating a town is too unbelievable?” 

Ahiru looked at her feet. “Drosselmeyer doesn’t exist, you said so yourself.”

“I said my grandfather was nothing but a crazy old man, I didn’t say he doesn’t exist.” Fakir pushed away from the railing and walked towards her, he took her chin in his hand and forced her to stare him in the eye. “You have to keep believing, I believe you, don’t I?” 

“But-”

“No but’s. You have to keep going. I don’t know what you can do, but I do know that you’re capable of doing anything.” 

“What if Drosselmeyer wins?”

“How old were you when you defeated Drosselmeyer before?”

“Thirteen.” 

“If you could beat him when you were barely a teenager, you can beat him now, as a young woman.” 

“But, I wasn’t alone.”

Fakir shook his head. “You’re not alone now.” 

“I need to find Goldcrown.” She said. “Whether its under a different name or just not listed on any map.”

“Alright, we start there.” 

“You’ll help me?” 

Fakir smiled and it took her breath away. “What do you think I’ve been doing these past months?” 

“We should get back, Mytho will wonder where I am.” 

They mounted his motorcycle, and Ahiru took one last look over the city as they drove away.

 

Mytho, much to Ahiru’s surprise, had invited Fakir in for dinner. 

“Rue told me I had to be nicer to him. Something about a future brother-in-law, or something like that.” 

Ahiru blushed. “Mytho! Don’t say that out loud.” 

He chuckled and nudged her. “What? Are you going to break up with him?”

“We’re not even dating. Why does everyone keep asking me that?” 

“You two are so obvious. Where is he, by the way?”

Ahiru put down the wooden spoon she held. “I don’t know, I’ll go look.” 

Ahiru took off her apron and started going through her apartment, looking for Fakir. 

It was small, and with so little places he could be, she found him easily. She stood in the threshold of her room and cleared her throat.

Fakir turned, he was holding a photo frame. “Sorry. Am I not allowed in your room?”

“No.” Ahiru said, stepping inside. “Mytho was just wondering where you were.”

He hummed, placing the frame back down on her nightstand. “It doesn’t feel like you.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean.” He picked up the photograph again and handed it to her here. It was an old photo of her family, Elora, her father, Mytho and her as a baby. “It doesn’t feel like it’s yours. Do you have photos in Goldcrown?” 

Ahiru shook her head. “No, though, once Charon had a drawing made of his family. Him, Retzel, Hans, you, and me. You still have it.”

“Is any of this yours?”

Ahiru looked around the room, though it was true she owned everything inside the room, none of it was truly hers, nothing she chose for herself. Her mother and Rue had bought her all the clothes that lined her closet, Charon furnished her entire apartment. She hadn’t brought anything with her either. 

“No, none of its mine.” She came and sat on the bed and he sat down next to her. “I don’t have much in Gold Crown, either.”

“I never got you anything?” 

“Oh, all kinds of things, but it's hard to use them and appreciate them as a duck.” 

Fakir nodded, he picked up the frame again. “Have you heard from Elora?” 

“No, she gave up after you threatened her.”

“I didn’t threaten her.” 

Ahiru giggled. “Maybe not verbally.” 

“Do you miss her?”

Ahiru stopped smiling, she laid back on the bed, she stared up at the ceiling; Fakir followed her lead. 

“Sometimes I do. I don’t remember my real mother, it was nice, being taken care of, having someone love you the way a mother should. But, once I realized she wasn’t my mother, I don’t think of her as such. I feel bad for leaving her, but I had to.” She turned her head to look at him. 

Fakir was so tall, when she stood next to him, she had to look up at him, but now, laying down, her face merely inches from his, able to look into his eye without having to tilt her chin, it was…

Different. 

“Ahiru! Fakir?” Mytho called. “Where’d you go?” 

Ahiru pushed herself up on her elbows as Mytho walked in.

He smiled. “Dinner’s ready.” 

 

When Tuesday came, Ahiru asked Rue what Femio meant when he said, well,  _ that. _

“He said  _ what  _ to you? A complete stranger?  Ahiru, that is despicable.”

“He wasn’t a stranger, he knew me before my coma. He said we dated? I don’t remember that though.” 

Rue shook her head. “What was his name?”

“Femio.”

“Well I will find this Femio and I will castrate him.”

“Rue, can you just tell me what he meant?” 

“You really don’t know what he meant by that? My goodness are you innocent.” Rue shook her head in disbelief. 

“Well, I was in a coma for ten years.” 

“And, you’ve been awake for five months, that’s enough time to explore. You’re telling me not once while you’re in that book store you never found any eroticia.” 

“No.”

“Ahiru, I’m going to give you the book I’m reading, but if you tell Mytho or Fakir I’ll kill you.” Rue went over to her purse, sitting on the side of the studio. “Let’s just keep this between us.” 

Ahiru was handed a cheap paperback, it was well read, the pages crinkled at her touch and the spine was wrinkled with cracks. “ _ Seized by Love? _ Are you sure you don’t want to finish it?” 

“Oh no, don’t worry about it, I’ve already read it.” Rue pulled her bag onto her shoulder. “Just get it back to me once your done, I have to return it to the library soon.”

“There’s a library here?”

Rue sighed. “Unfortunately no, but there is one in the next city over. I can take you some time.” 

They walked outside together, locking the door to the studio behind them. 

“After you read that you’ll know what Femio was trying to imply.” 

“I don’t know if I want to know anymore.” Ahiru held the book out in front of her and looked at the cover. “It seems-”

“Promiscuous? Immoral? Debauched? It is.” Rue laughed. “You’ll like it, just try not to read it with anyone else in the room. You have a very open face, I’d hate for someone to think you’re reading something bad.”

Rue drove her home and as she waved goodbye, Ahiru took the book out of her bag and began to read the first page. 

As she opened the door, she forgot she had a roommate.

“Hey, Ahiru, how was ballet.”

Ahiru quickly stuffed the book behind her back. “Great! I’m feeling tired so I’m going to go to bed.” 

“Hold on.” Mytho stood, placing his own book on the couch arm, “Whatcha got there?” 

“Just a book! Nothing strange, or anything!” 

Mytho nodded, before reaching behind her and stealing the book from her fingers. 

“Hey!” 

He read the title. His face paled. “Ahiru, where did you get this?” 

“Um-” 

He shook his head, grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her onto the couch. “You should never get your sexual education from porn. I guess you went in a coma before mom could give you The Talk, that leaves it up to me.”

“The Talk?” That sounded bad. 

“You know, the birds and the bees, when a man loves a woman.” Mytho made a broad gesture to the air. “We’ll start with you.”

“I don’t want to.” 

“A woman of your age, you should know about these things, especially with your growing relationship with Fakir-’

“La la la la la la la.” Ahiru sang, covering her ears with her hands. Why was this so intensely awkward? 

“Ahiru, please, you’ll have to learn eventually.” 

“Can’t I just read about it?”

“And have unrealistic expectations of your body and your romantic partner? Nope, I’m sorry, but I have to tell you. Here, go get a banana.”

“What for!” 

Ahiru went to bed knowing more than she wanted to know. The birds and the bees…

What did birds have to do with any of that? Birds were innocent! 

She took the book off her nightstand, she turned on the light and started reading.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Pique’s opinions of whether the men of Nordenling in the 80’s were hot or not is not based on actual evidence and my own thoughts or feelings since I have never been to 80’s Nordenling.
> 
> *Seized by Love is an actual book by Suzanna Johnson published in 1978, no I have not read it… yet.


	7. September

Ahiru sat on the counter, one of Rue’s books open in her lap. She was careful not to let Charon see it, lest he get the wrong idea about why she was reading it, it was purely educational. It was only a bonus how completely captivating it was.

The door chimed and she stuffed the book under the counter before slipping off the counter. 

“Hello! How can I- oh, it’s just you.” 

Femio stood in the doorway, placing a hand to his heart in mock pain. “You bring me misery, are you not happy to see me?” 

“Not really.” 

“Is there a reason? Something I did?” 

Ahiru had grabbed her duster and moved into the aisles, intending on making herself look busy by dusting. “No, it has nothing to do with you.” 

“Then- oh mon petit amour, it is you, you are not ready to love me, I understand, I am quite intimidating. But, fear not mademoiselle, for I will ease your woes. For you, I have written a sonnet.” He cleared his throat and snapped his fingers. “Montag!”

Suddenly, Femio’s man servant appeared, fanning a bowl full of rose petals forcing them to flutter around Femio. 

“Girl with hair of the fiery sunset, Eyes deep’r than the Mediterranean Sea, The stars twinkle upon your rosy cheeks, Your lips, plump and the color of peaches, I shall press mine against yours in the dance, They call pas de deux, a dance of bliss-”

“Ahiru, is this man bothering you?” Charon asked, rather confused when he saw Femio on bended knee, his hand connected to hers, planting kisses up and down her knuckles between the lines. 

“Nothing I can’t deal with, Charon. Thank you.” 

“You’re still going out with Fakir this evening, and not this candyass?” 

“Yes, I am.” Ahiru pulled her hand out of Femio’s grip. “We’re not dating.” She pointed between herself and Femio.

“I didn’t think you were, but I prefer you with Fakir than whoever this is.” 

Ahiru groaned. “I’m not dating Fakir either.” 

Charon raised his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say you were. It’s just, with you two going out to the movies and all.” 

“Ahiru, what does this man say? Is it true?” 

Ahiru sighed. “I’m going to the movies with Fakir, Femio.”

“Le rat! He tries to take away the princess from the prince.” 

“He’s not taking me away from anyone, why don’t you go home?” 

Femio looked taken back. “You don’t long for my presence?” 

“No Femio.”

“I-I see.” 

He looked sad, Ahiru almost felt sorry for him. 

“Then I shall win your heart! No princess should be without a prince!” 

He left, presumably to plot some over the top plan to win her heart. 

“That guy is a ponce, you’re better off with Fakir.” Charon patted her shoulder, he motioned to the roses. “Uh, clean this up.” 

 

Ahiru stood in front of the full length mirror positioned in the corner of her room, she wasn’t entirely sure why she suddenly had nothing to wear with a full closet, or why most of them looked suddenly horrible on her.

Mytho knocked on her door. “I called Rue, she’s coming over to help.” 

Ahiru, after giving up, yelled for Mytho and told him about her dilemma and he made the executive decision to call Rue, and once she arrived, Ahiru had also made the executive decision that laying down in the pile of clothes that surrounded her was better than trying to find something that worked.

“Oh, Ahiru, get up.” Rue extended her hand. “It’s first date jitters, it’s alright.”

“It’s not a date.” Ahiru groaned. And it wasn’t. Fakir had made a comment about how there were no good movies out that year and Ahiru asked him what a movie was. 

He shook his head, and told her he’d take her to see one.

“Of course. You’re still nervous.” 

Ahiru pouted. “But why? We’ve hung out so many other times, why does this one matter?” 

“Ahiru, going out to the movies is a common first date, it’s not that strange.” 

“Wait, it’s common?”

“Of course, everyone knows it is. Fakir, too.” Rue smirked.

“Did he do that on purpose?” Fakir knew she didn’t know much about this culture, would he ask her out without even saying what his true intentions were? No, Fakir is straightforward. He would tell her upfront. 

“I don’t know, he could have.” Rue pulled something from the bog of clothing and placed it on her bed. “There, how’s that?” 

On her bed was a pair of jeans and a yellow tank top. “Won’t I get cold?” 

Rue rolled her eyes. “Of course you will! And once you do, he’ll offer you his jacket. What about your hair?”

“My hair?” Ahiru touched her braid. 

“Well of course, you always have it up in a braid, could you imagine how pretty it would look if it was down? Framing your face.”

Ahiru shook her head. “It won’t be practical on his bike.” 

“Here.” Rue undid her hair, running her fingers through it before it was all free. She wrapped it up into a bun and stacked it on the top of her head. “See? And when you put the helmet on, it’ll keep it in place.”

“Alright, get out and let me get ready.”

Rue smiled as she slid off the bed, closing the door behind her. 

Ahiru came out a few seconds later, dressed with her hair down. 

“It feels like it’s going to get everywhere.” 

Rue waved away her worry. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, okay? Oh, I think he’s here.” 

Ahiru went back into her room to grab her helmet and ran to the door.

Rue and Mytho stood out on the balcony and Ahiru pushed past them. 

She came to Fakir, leaning against the motorcycle. He waved to Mytho and Rue before straddling the bike once more. 

“Ready?”

“Wait.” She twisted up her hair and covered it with the helmet, snapping the strap into place, no hair fell out. “Ready.”

She waved goodbye to Rue and Mytho as they drove down away. 

 

“Here we are.” Fakir parked and stepped off the bike, he turned to her and offered his hand.

Ahiru took her helmet off, shaking her head, her hair fell over her shoulders. “Wow, it's pretty!” She smiled at the glowing lights, flashing in the dark, bright whites and pinks, so people would see in the sign even in the night.

“Pr-pretty. Yes.” He turned pointing to the theater. “It’s pretty.” 

Ahiru giggled, jumping off the bike and following behind Fakir. “So what’s a movie again?” 

“It’s like a moving picture.”

“But it’s not a picture.”

“No, because a picture stays still, movies, well, move.” 

“How do they move?” 

Fakir strolled up to the ticket booth. “Well, they play a bunch of pictures moving really fast so it looks like they’re moving.” 

“So it is a picture.”

“No, it’s- two tickets please?” 

Ahiru brushed her hair behind her ear, was Rue right? It felt like her hair was wild and all over the place; far from pretty.

“Here you are, sir, enjoy the movie!”

Fakir took the two tickets and they went inside. 

“Oh, did you pay for them? Sorry, I meant to buy mine.” Ahiru told him. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.” Fakir handed her her ticket. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

“I thought we were eating after?”

“People like getting snacks to watch movies, something to do with your hands.” 

Ahiru looked over at the brightly lit snack bar. “Do you want anything?”

“I like getting popcorn, have you had popcorn before?” 

“No, what is it?”

He gave her a curt nod. “You’ll like it, but if we’re going to get popcorn, we’ll have to get something to wash it down with.” 

Ahiru stood behind Fakir, a line of people ahead of them, and she looked around the theater, she was still confused about what a movie was, but she would just have to wait and see. She wondered if it was anything like television and the show Grandpa liked to watch. 

A large group were making their way out and Ahiru spotted her old doctor. 

“I’ll be right back.” She said, not giving Fakir a chance to respond. “Edel!”

Edel paused at the sound of her name. “Oh, Ahiru.” She smiled at her old patient. “How are you?” 

Ahiru smiled. “I’ve been doing good.” 

“You never came back for any check ups, I was starting to worry.”  

“Hi Duck!” Uzura smiled and waved. 

Edel raised a brow. “Duck?”

“Oh! It’s what everyone calls me at the ballet studio.” Ahiru gave her a sheepish grin. “It’s my inner animal. Uzura started it, actually.” 

Fakir came towards them, a striped red bag in one hand and a large cup in the other. “Dr. Nivale.” He handed Ahiru the cup. 

“Fakir.” 

“How’s Autor?” 

Edel’s good natured smile faded. “He’s doing fine, but there are no changes. He won’t be waking up soon.”

“I see.”

“But, go and watch your movie, have fun!” Edel smiled and ushered Uzura away. 

“I’m sorry about Autor.” Ahiru stated as they started to walk away. 

“It’s fine, he deserves it for being stupid.” 

“Don’t let him hear that, he never liked being called stupid.” 

Fakir nodded. “That’s right, you know him.”

“Yup, he was one of the few that knew about me and the story.” 

They got to a set of french doors and Fakir pulled it open for her. 

“Is it supposed to be so dark?” Ahiru blinked as her eyes adjusted. 

“Yes, otherwise the projector wouldn’t work.” 

“The what?” 

“The- you’re going to have a lot of questions, I can already tell.” He shook his head, his hand landed on the small of her back and he lead her through the theater.

“It’s really loud too.” 

“You’ll get used to it. Careful, there are steps.” 

Fakir stopped about the middle and motioned for her to go down the aisle. 

She sat down and looked up at the screen, imagines moving over it. It was like nothing she had ever seen before. 

“It’s huge!”

“It is, that’s one of the reasons people prefer movies.” He whispered. “Don’t be too loud, people don’t appreciate it. Just lean over if you want to say something.” 

Ahiru nodded, but in truth she had nothing left to say, her eyes remained glued to the screen as a movie started playing. 

 

Ahiru stood and stretched as the lights turned on, she insisted they stay until the very end, and so the theater was empty of all except her and Fakir. 

“What did you think?” 

“I liked the popcorn.” 

“Of the movie?” 

“And what was in the cup? That was really good.”

“It was coke, what did you think of the movie?”

Ahiru giggled as they made their way out. “I liked it! It was like watching a ballet, or a play.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Hmm, not really, the popcorn was a lot.”

As they made their way out of the theater, Ahiru attacked him with the reservoir of questions she had saved in her mind, rather than interrupting the movie. 

“-and how did they get so many snakes? Did they pay them all? What was the thing at the end?”

“The credits?”

“I didn’t see any snakes listed in the credits. I don’t think that’s fa-” Ahiru gasped as they stepped outside, inside, it had been wonderfully warm. But outside, her arms were covered in goosebumps and she started to shiver. “It’s cold!”

“Why didn’t you bring a jacket?” Fakir shook his head and started removing his. “Here.”

“Oh, thank you.” Rue was right, but of course she was. “I wasn’t sure what to wear, so I called Rue over and-”

He rolled his eyes. “And told you fashion is worth freezing to death for?” 

“Something like that.” Ahiru started poking her arms through the sleeves when she heard a loud caw, one she hadn’t heard in a decade. 

A large raven, black, just a silhouette against the night sky started to dive. 

“Fakir, look out!” and Ahiru, with all of her might, tackled Fakir to the ground as the raven swooped, barely missing his head. Fakir landed on his back, but he had wrapped his arms around Ahiru, keeping her close to his chest rather than letting her roll out onto the floor herself. She sat up immediately, her legs slipping over his sides to straddle him.

“What the hell was that?” Fakir pushed himself up onto his elbows, and she slid down into his lap.

Ahiru looked to the skies trying to find the raven, but it was gone, it had disappeared like smoke into the air. Her focus returned to Fakir. “Are you okay?” Her hands went to cradle the back of his head, she was sure it hit the concrete. “Did I hurt you?” 

“Ahiru.” He said softly, his hand moving to rest on her arm, still holding his head. “What was that?” 

“It was a raven, but one of the Monster Raven’s. I don’t know how it's here.” 

“Sir, are you alright? That crow just dive bombed you!” A stranger came towards them. “You and your girl alright?” 

Fakir sat up and pulled Ahiru off him, he stood, pulling Ahiru up with him. “We’re fine, thank you, sir.”

The man gulped before rushing off, his eyes avoiding Fakir’s. 

“Fakir, your head.” Ahiru reached out to him again. “I felt a bump.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“We don’t have to go to the hospital, it just needs ice, we can go to my apart-”

“My place is closer.” 

His place? Ahiru had yet to go over to his place. She nodded slowly and they got back on the motorcycle again. Ahiru took one last look around them, searching the trees and the branches for a sign of the bird, but there was none. 

It took only a few minutes to get to Fakir’s house, and much to Ahiru’s surprise, it actually looked like their home in Gold Crown. 

He walked the bike into the garage before closing its door and lead her around to the front.

“I’m sorry if it’s messy.” He pushed open the door and let Ahiru go in first, and to her surprise, it wasn’t messy at all, in fact it was rather barren. 

The walls were plain, no fixtures of photographs. She wandered through the rooms on the bottom floor and could count on one hand all of his furniture. 

He followed behind her, watching her reactions, how she took it. 

“When you said messy did you mean you hadn’t swept in a couple of days?” Ahiru turned back to him. “You don’t have much, do you?” 

“I try to keep it that way. Nothing I wouldn’t miss, nothing worth much.” 

Nothing worth stealing. “Oh.” Ahiru looked down at her feet. “Well, show me your kitchen, and we can ice your head.” 

“Sure.” He took the lead, heading to the back of the house and opening the freezer. 

Ahiru walked up to a window. “Huh, I didn’t think you’d have curtains.” She ran her fingers along the linen. 

“Those where there when I bought it.” 

Fakir sat down at a round kitchen table, a bag of frozen peas in his hand, and Ahiru sat down next to him. 

She started talking, trying to distract him, and perhaps herself. 

In Gold Crown, Fakir had come to forgive himself for what happened to his parents, but here… 

She didn’t want to think about it, about the pain he must have harboured. 

She talked about the movie, asking more questions, and would listen to his answers. When he asked about the raven that attacked, she tried her best to answer. 

“Well, it’s not a real animal, the Raven is just kinda able to create servants to help him, but I don’t know what it’s doing here. Or how it got here.” 

He iced his head until the peas had thawed and Ahiru checked the lump to see if it had gone down before going to the freezer to grab a fresh bag of frozen produce and put the peas back. 

She was growing tired, she could tell, her eyes were starting to get heavy, she kept yawning, she knew she had to go, but in her heart she didn’t want to leave Fakir. 

“I should take you home.” He whispered, his hand going to brush the bangs out of her eyes, but he stopping himself just before he did. 

She rested her head on her arm, and she shook her head. “No, I’m okay. I have to make sure your head-” She yawned. “-is okay.”

“I’m okay. Don’t fall asleep, I’m going to get your helmet.”

She nodded, but with her eyes closed, she was warm, the pleasant scent of the woods filling her nose from the collar of his jacket. She fell asleep. 

She woke up, her eyes blinking awake, a white pillow, heavy blankets covering her. Ahiru looked over to the window, where Fakir stood, facing the window. 

She sighed, everything was back to normal, she was back in Goldcrown, back in their house by the lake, her lake and his dock. He would write her a story, and he would read the letter from the Swan Kingdom, from the Queen and King. 

“Fakir.” She said.

She  _ said. _ She sat up, hands, feet, legs. A woman, not a duck, she looked over at Fakir, who had turned to look at her when she called his name. 

“Are you alright?” 

She touched her face, her lips. “Oh.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t take you home, you fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

The strap of her tank top fell off her shoulder, and she was slow to fix it. “It’s fine.”

“Did I startle you?” His eyes flashed to the window. “I wasn’t in here, not until a few minutes ago, I didn’t sleep with you.” 

“I don’t mind.” She rubbed her eye. “We shared a bed in Goldcrown.” 

He blushed, and cleared his throat. “Well, I’d offer to make you breakfast, but I just have coffee.” He held up his mug, black and steaming still.

She grimaced, she hated coffee. “No, thank you.”

“I was going to take you out to dinner last night, how do you feel about going out for breakfast.” 

She smiled, stretching her hands over her head. “Sure. Where? Ebine’s?” 

“What’s Ebine’s?”

“Oh.” Her hands fell. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“Ebine’s is in Goldcrown?” 

She nodded. 

He shook his head. “C’mon.” 

Fakir produced an extra tooth brush for her to use and offered a shirt for her to borrow so she wasn’t wearing her old one two days in a row, and she took it. 

She changed in the bathroom, but when she tugged the shirt over her head, she had forgotten just how big Fakir was and just how small she was. 

It was a plain t-shirt, but it was blue, the shade of blue he would wear when he wasn’t wearing his school uniform. It lacked the ripped sleeve, but it still felt like the one she remembered. 

Ahiru took hold of the sleeve that reached her elbow and started folding it up, did the same to the other, and tied a knot at the bottom so it didn’t brush against her knees. 

She touched her hair, still down, but she didn’t have a hair tie to put it back the way it was supposed to be.

She opened a drawer and dug around until she found a brush, she pulled her hair over her shoulder. 

There was a knock on the door. “Ready?”

She opened the door and nodded. “Ready.” 

His hand reached out to touch the fabric of the shirt. “It looks better on you.” 

She smiled. 

“Let’s go.” 

She followed him out the door and he handed her her helmet. 

A thin mist veiled the sky. 

 

“And just where have you been?” 

Ahiru leaned against the door, trying to catch her breath, she was still wearing Fakir’s shirt and she couldn’t stop her heart from beating. 

_ He sat across from her at the table and  _ smiled. _ He grinned, his lips pulling over teeth and he looked happy. He leaned across the table and whispered to her.  _

Mytho stood in the door of the kitchen, he had a spoon in his hand and both fists rested on his hips. 

“Hi, Mytho.”

“The next time that-” He waved his spoon towards the door, though Ahiru was sure he was aiming for Fakir. “That- scoundrel tries to take you out he better know I’m going with you!”

Ahiru pushed herself away from the door. 

_ It was a game they started playing, Ahiru would point to other patrons, “What’s their story?” she’d ask him. _

“And just where do you think you’re going? You can’t just stay the night with random men!”

“Fakir isn’t a random man.”

“That’s besides the point, what did he do? Drug you up? Give you a roofie? Did he do anything without your permission and consent?”

“Nothing happened, Mytho.”

_ “The lady sitting across from her husband?” He started. “She loves her annoying little dog more than she’s ever loved him in the past fifty years of marriage.” _

_ “Fakir!” She chastised. “That’s mean!” But she kept playing, “What about them?” _

_ He smirked, turning to look where she pointed, a young couple with no self control.  _

_ “High school sweethearts. They’ve never dated anyone else, so their wedding night will be extremely awkward.” _

_ She laughed, holding her stomach.  _

She crossed her arms. “Besides, Fakir isn’t the kind of man to do something like. He’s kind and considerate, he would never hurt me.”

Mytho humphed. “He still should have had you home last night instead of the next morning. It’s only your first date, you can’t just give him everything!”

_ “What about us? Make up a story for us.”  _

_ He thought for a second and she took a sip from her water.  _

_ “Let’s see, the knight destined to be ripped apart by a monstrous raven and a duck, that can turn into a girl, that can turn into a princess try pancakes for the first time.” _

_ She laughed. _

“It wasn’t a date!” Ahiru snapped, turning on Mytho (sure in the Swan Kingdom this would be considered treason, but she couldn’t stop herself). “I’m tired of everyone calling it a date! Or calling me his girl! Or asking if we’re together!”

Mytho’s face lost the protective big brother, righteous anger.

“We’re not together. We’re not meant to be together.” She breathed heavily, tried to stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. “It’s impossible.” 

A man can’t fall in love with a duck. A man can’t spend the rest of his days with an animal. And, a duck can’t live the rest of her days wishing she could be what he needed. 

“What did he say to you?” Mytho laid a hand on her arm. “Did he hurt you?”

“No.” Her jaw trembled. “No.” She sniffled, she could feel the tears pouring over her lashes, and she couldn’t stop them. 

Mytho pulled her to his chest and swathed her in the span of his arms. He laid his cheek on the top of her head, and brushed her hair. 

Ahiru put her hands to her cheeks, trying desperately to stop the trail of tears.  

That’s all she was. Just a duck that could turn into a girl. 

 

Her sobs started to wane, and Mytho forced her to sit on the couch, he called Rue. 

“Rue had some classes, but I’m going to cover them for her, so she’ll be here in a few minutes, okay?”

Ahiru nodded, and Mytho kissed her temple before heading out, his ballet bag over his shoulder.

She grabbed the blanket Mytho kept on the couch and cloaked it around her until only her face was left uncovered. 

“What happened?” Rue asked, the door bouncing against the wall. She came and knelt before Ahiru. “Sweetie, what did he say.” 

Ahiru shook her head, how could she explain it to her? She wouldn’t understand. 

“Ooh, I’ll kill him. I’ll invite him over for dinner and poison his food, and once he starts to spasm I’ll gut him like a fish and my laughing face will be the last thing he sees before he dies.” 

“Rue, it’s not him.” 

“What?”

Ahiru pulled a piece of hair behind her ear. “He didn’t do anything.”

Rue tilted her head. “Then what happened?” 

“We’re not supposed to be together, it’s not for us.” 

“What do you mean? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Fakir as happy as he is when he’s with you.” 

“Can we talk about something else?” 

Rue nodded. “Of course.” Rue stood and went to close the door, she sat down on the couch. “Whatever you want to do.” 

Ahiru sat up, she pulled her legs onto the couch, and though the blanket fell off her head, she did her best to make sure it covered her. “Do you have chocolate?” 

“No, but I know where to get some.” Rue stood and offered her hand. “C’mon.” 

Ahiru got off the couch. 

“Oh, Ahiru.” Rue grabbed the edge of her shirt. “This isn’t his, is it?”

Ahiru nodded, she untied the knot and pulled the shirt off, making her way to her room and picked up a sweater, large and warm. She thought to throw his shirt down, to stomp on it, and ripping it apart for making her fall for him, but she didn’t. 

She folded it and placed it on the foot of her bed. 

She went into her bathroom and find a hair tie and braided her hair, tired of it getting in her face, tired of it being everywhere she didn’t want it to be. 

“Ready?” Rue held out her hand for Ahiru to grab, and she nodded, taking Rue’s hand. 

“I’m sorry, I ruined your Saturday.” 

“Oh, Ahiru, no you didn’t, I promise.” Rue lead her down the stairs and to her car. “I just had teaching planned, and now I get to spend my day with you.” 

Ahiru gave her a smile as she buckled her seat belt, but before they were able to pull out, a black motorcycle pulled in front of them.

“Hang on, I’ve got this.” Rue glared, throwing the car into park before she climbed out. 

Ahiru couldn’t hear them, but she knew Rue was yelling, her finger jutting out and jabbing Fakir’s chest. 

He didn’t yell back, his mouth going slack every once in a while, but mostly, his eyes looked for Ahiru.

“-and how dare you-!” Came the muffled yell. “-I don’t want to see your face-” 

He said her name, and she stopped. He told her something but Ahiru couldn’t read his lips, he handed Rue a yellow tank top, the one Ahiru left in the bathroom. He had come back to return it. 

Rue took it and he stepped around her, heading towards her car. 

“Now, wait just a second!” Rue yelled.

The car door was thrown open and Ahiru gasped.

“Ahiru, what’s going on?” 

Ahiru screwed her eyes shut, she couldn’t bear to look at him. 

“Was it something I said?” 

“You leave her alone!” Rue pulled at his arm, but it was ultimately useless.  

“Ahiru, please.” 

“Fakir-” She trembled, “When things go back to normal, I- we-” She shook her head. “We can’t.” 

“I can fix it, I can write you a story, you said I could-”

“You’ve been trying for ten years.” 

Fakir reached for her but pulled back. 

Rue was finally able to push him away and slammed the door shut. She started yelling once more. 

Rue turned on her heel and sat in the driver’s seat, and drove away. Ahiru looked in the rearview mirror and watched Fakir as he stood there, growing smaller and smaller until he was gone. 

“I’m sorry he came back.” Rue said, handing Ahiru her shirt. “I don’t think he’ll bother you again.” 

Ahiru spread the tank top over the tops of her thighs, spreading it out until it looked like a shirt and less like a crumpled ball. 

A knight and a duck could never be. 

Fakir promised he would stay by her side, but what good was such a promise if she couldn’t give him everything he needed? More than just her loyalty, and her friendship.

But her heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *:)
> 
> *The movie they saw was Indiana Jones, realized in 1981, but I figured it’d take a while to translate the movie, even just subtitles, and release it in Germany.
> 
> *Ducks can’t have chocolate, bread, or popcorn.


	8. October

Ahiru waved goodbye to a customer she had cashed out, Charon had slowly began training her for important work inside the store, and he eventually planned on having her run the store by herself, he would be nearby, of course, but the goal was to get a few days off. 

There was the rumble of a motorcycle, and Ahiru’s heart panged, had he decided that enough was enough and they needed to talk? 

She didn’t even know if she could tell him, if Princess Tutu’s curse affected her. 

If she would turn into a speck of light as soon as she mentioned the words. 

The door’s bell rang, and, to her disbelief, she was relieved and almost glad to see it was just Femio. 

He carried a bundle of roses.

Ahiru pushed herself away from the counter and went into the aisles, one in the back, not visited and at least if he followed her the other customers wouldn’t be bothered. 

“Ahiru?” He called. 

She sighed, “Over here!” 

He stood straight in the mouth of the aisle and presented to her his gift. “Pour vous.” 

She smiled, and nodded. “Thank you.”

Femio tilted his head. “You are sad. Why?” 

“I-” She paused, “I guess I had my first breakup.” 

That’s what Rue said, she kept calling it that, a breakup, they went to the store to pick up chocolate. And bread. And said, “It’s just your first break up, it sucks but you’ll get past it. We all have to go through it.” 

It wasn’t a break up. She would say, but soon she gave up. In this world, a break up meant something different, but Ahiru supposed, that in truth, she and Fakir had broken up. 

She had ripped apart the connection they had and she wasn’t sure if they would ever be able to mend it. 

And, what would happen if things went back to normal? Would he remember? Would he forget? 

But, what if…

What if it didn’t matter? What if things didn’t go back to normal because this was normal? 

What if she ruined the relationship she had just because she woke up believing she was a duck? 

Ahiru sat down on a drum, not meant to be sat on, of course, but she needed to. She wasn’t sure when the tears came, or when they got to be too much and rolled down her cheeks, but her lip trembled and she took labored breaths. 

Femio knelt down before her, his hand placed gently on her shoulder, the other on her cheek, his thumb extending to wipe under her lashes. 

“Oh, mon amie, this is a matter of the heart, is it not?” 

She nodded.

“The man, you loved him?” 

It felt as if her heart had stopped. She had never heard the words out loud and didn’t dare say them to herself, even in her mind. 

She nodded. “Yes.” 

He sighed and sat down beside her. “I remember when I too, fell in love.”

She sniffled, and wiped at her nose. “You fell in love?”

He grinned. “Hard to believe, yes? I am not a man that stays for longer than the hour of sweet love making.”

“Ew.” But, she giggled. 

“It was in Paris, a few years ago. She was sweet, and kind, and she was mine for a whole summer. But then, she left me. For some American. As if anyone is better than moi? After she broke my heart, I decided I would ride Le Taureau all over Europe, to every city, every town, ironic that my own home town was my last destination, no?” 

“I’m sorry, Femio, that’s awful.” 

“But, you, you gave him your heart?”

Ahiru looked down at the roses, her hands plucking at the petals without pulling them off. “He gave me his, but I couldn’t give him mine. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

“A heart for a heart? Is that not fair?” 

“It’s not that simple.” She shook her head, resting her elbows on her knees. “There are certain circumstances that don’t allow me to give him everything he needs.” 

“The needs of a man.” He nodded sagely. “I understand. My love gave me her heart, and many women gave me their bodies, but without both, a man’s needs are unmet.”

Ahiru blushed. “R-right.” 

“Are you a nun? A maiden goddess? Sworn to keep her girlhood protected from men?”

“No.”

“Then why could you not give him all?” 

Ahiru blush darkened. “It’s not easy to explain.” 

“Then explain? What do we have if not time?” 

“Well, let’s just say that I’m not me, I mean I’m not this.” She gestured to herself. “I’m something… Else. And, if I were to go back to that something else, I wouldn’t only be able to give him half of what he needs.” 

Femio blinked at her. “I think I understand.”

“Do you?”

“You are afraid. You don’t know what the future holds for you, what you will be, who you will be, what if you change and his affections for you wane? I tell you this, in all my travels, in all the women I’ve seen with men who don’t love them, it is never the woman who is unable to give the man all he needs, but the man is unable to give the woman what she needs. Mon dieu,” He shook his head and chuckled, “If I had thought I saw a man in love before, I was wrong.” 

“So, you think that he-?”

Femio smiled and nodded. 

She grinned, a final tear escaping. “You know, you never got to finish the poem you wrote for me.” 

“You are right!” He swiveled on the ground until he was in front of her at bended knee, he took her hand and placed the other over his heart before clearing his throat. “For ten long years, my heart has longed for, Yours, the love we shared so many moons past, Oh, what splendid and tender love, the love, Of the innocent, never forgotten, Look deep into my eyes, and fall in love, With me once more, come let me embrace you, Mon coeur brûle en ton absence, mon amour, Puissions-nous être enfin réunis.”

She clapped and cheered. “You’re better than I thought.”

“Merci.” He took hold of her hand again. “Ahiru, I promise you this, now that I know your heart belongs solely and wholly to another man, I will henceforth only be your companion.”

“Thank you.” She leaned forward and hugged him. 

“Oh, mon petit ami, I will give you all I have to offer.” 

The feeling of eyes burning into her skin frightened her and when she turned to find who was staring at her, she only saw the flash of a leather jacket walking away. 

She gasped. 

“Was it him?”

She nodded.

“Go! Make amends.”

Ahiru stood and ran after him. He was already outside, his motorcycle coming to life. She didn’t have time. He rode out of the parking lot, and she was left unable to say what needed to be said.

She went back into the store, her head hung low. Femio gave her a kiss good-bye.

“Was he bothering you again?” Charon asked, coming up behind her, making her jump. 

“No. No he was helpful. He’s a good person once you get beyond all the theaterics. Do you want to put these by the cashregister?” She handed Charon the roses.

“Huh. I did just get a vase, this would be a good way to show it off.” He rubbed his chin before taking them. “By the way,” He started, “There’s a gift for you on the counter.” 

“From who?”

“I think you know who.”

Ahiru nodded, only grimacing slightly. Had he come to give her a gift in person, but seeing her with Femio, ran away?

She tugged at the red ribbon, unwrapping the gold paper.

Inside this one was a necklace, a small red jewel pulling at the golden chain, and despite its size, it reminded her so much of the necklace she wore, the last heart shard of Mytho’s heart. 

She slipped it on and fingered it. It was a gift from him, she shouldn’t be allowed to keep it, not when she had already made up her mind. 

“What is it?” Charon asked. “Wow, pretty little thing, now if I had the eye of a jeweler, and I do, I would reckon that that was real gold, and a real ruby.” 

“Is it expensive?” 

Charon shrugged, “Depends on where he got it. But, more than likely-”

Ahiru took it off immediately and put it back in the box. “I- I have to give it back to him.” 

“I figured you would want to.” Charon nodded. “Do you know where he works?”

Ahiru deflated. “No, no I don’t”

“He works at O’Sullivan’s Mechanic Shop. It’s right in the middle of town, you can’t miss it.” 

“Okay, I’ll go-”

“Go, go now.” Charon spun her towards the door and gave her a little shove. “I’ll hold down the fort.”

Ahirue nodded before rushing out to her bike and riding it into the downtown area, clusters of signs making it easier to find. She parked her bike and left it against the wall before she walked inside, she hoped he was here.

“Hello?” There was no one inside, she could hear noise, coming from the door that read Employees Only, but she wasn’t sure where else to go. She knocked on the door, but she learned that when you got closer to the door, everything on the other side of it got louder, and she wondered if anyone had heard her at all. 

Ahiru took the chance and pulled at the handle, and it was like walking outside again. 

It was like the garage at Elora’s house, but much larger. 

Cars were everywhere, not particularly nice ones either, all with their hoods open and the metal organs exposed to the air, and it was incredibly hot. It was loud and the air was filled with sparks. 

There were three people inside the massive garage, a blond man wearing a jumpsuit talking to a woman and gesturing to one of the car’s suspended in the air. The other, was bent over a car, half gone in the hood of the car. 

“Fakir?” She called, leaning over to poke his shoulder. 

“Careful.” He snapped, “You could get-” He looked up at her, thinking he was dealing with the car’s owner rather than her. “Hurt.” He sighed and stood, whatever he held in his hand, he placed back on the wall, next to a label that read Wrenches, there must have been twenty of them, all varying in size. He was also wearing a jumpsuit like the other worker, but he had the sleeves tied around his waist and wore a black tank top. 

“Your birthmark.” Ahiru said softly, her fingers reaching to touch his exposed arm, but she stopped herself. She came her to give him back his gift. “I- I wanted to give this back to you.” She undid the clasp that kept the necklace around her neck.

He shook his head. “No, that’s yours.”

Ahiru held it out to him. “I can’t accept this. It’s too much.” 

“It didn’t cost me anything. I don’t have any use for it, I want you to have it.”

“O-okay.”

He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand but it only left a smear of black grease on his temple. 

She giggled. “Your gloves are dirty.”

“What?” He took up a towel and wiped at his face. 

“But. Fakir?” She took hold of his forearm and peeled away his hands. “I just wanted to tell you something.” 

“Alright.” Fakir threw the towel down, she watched it land on the car. “Go ahead.” He leaned against the car and crossed his arms. 

“I just want to be your friend.” 

He nodded. “I know.”

“You do?”

“I don’t know what I did, I can’t piece it together.” He shrugged. “But, all I know is that I haven’t been the same without you. It doesn’t matter to me if you don’t-” He cleared his throat. “Feel the same way that I do, but I’m able to get over myself if it means I get to- if you’re-”

“I want you in my life too.”

“Than why-” He stood suddenly, but held himself back. “Why haven’t you talked to me?”

“I needed to get my head straight. I needed to sort out my feelings, and,” She looked away, outside, the garage doors giving way to the chilling autumn wind, the sky overcast as it had been for the past several weeks. “If I’m honest with myself, I still don’t know where I stand.” 

“I’ll give you the time you need, just don’t make me think you meant to leave me.” 

Ahiru smiled, “Thank you, I just need… time.”

She put the necklace back on.

 

“Do you have to go?” Ahiru pouted? She sat at the table, eating breakfast as Mytho scurried around her gathering all he needed for his trip.

“Ahiru, I’m the best man! I can’t miss my best friend’s wedding.” 

_ You’re supposed to be Fakir’s best friend, _ she thought to herself. “What am I supposed to do with myself?”

“You and Rue can have a sleepover.”

“A sleepover?” 

“Yeah, a sleepover, besides I’m leaving tonight for the bachelor party, tomorrow will be the wedding and I’ll be back the next day, you won’t even know I’m gone.” 

Ahiru grumbled, before she said. “Isn’t Rue busy on Saturday’s?” 

“Well, with tomorrow being a holiday I doubt it.” 

A holiday? She’d have to ask-

“Oh, don’t look so sad, I won’t be gone for long, I swear.” He leaned down and squeezed her shoulder before placing a kiss on her temple. “I wish I knew what to do to make you feel better.” 

“I wish I knew, too.”

He gave her a sad smile, but he was soon off packing again, getting the last of what he needed into his suitcase. 

Ahiru called Rue, she was overwhelmed with excitement at the prospect of having a sleepover. 

 

There was a knock on the door, a scream, some cursing, and a caw. 

Ahiru rushed to open the door and saw Rue standing on the balcony holding her shoe out at a raven, brandishing it like a sword and trying to scare it off.

“Rue?”

“Ahiru, thank goodness! Get a broom!”

Together, they poked and prodded at the creature until it flew off for just enough time for them to rush in and close the door behind themselves.

Rue cleared her throat and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “That damn bird has been following me for days.”

“Oh, you don’t think-?”

“What?”

“Nothing!”

Rue smiled at her before going to Ahiru’s room, throwing her large, overstuffed duffle bag onto the bed. “So, you’ve never had one?” Rue asked, starting to unpacking her duffle bag, producing nearly an entire bathroom’s worth of supplies and then some. “We used to have them all the time when I was younger. But, it’ll be a nice change to have a sleepover with someone I actually like. What do you want to start with?”

“What’s there to start… with?” Ahiru asked uncertainty, her bed had been covered in another blanket of activities for them to do. 

“We can do nails, hair, face masks, I brought a whole load of scary movies, and my TV since I known you and Mytho don’t have one, and not to mention all the make up I could fit into my bag.”

“Makeup?” Ahiru had seen a few ads on TV, in magazines, and such, with girls painted with neon, their eyes blue and green and their lips purple. She really didn’t want to look like any of those girls.

“Yes, I think only natural colors for you, but, since you haven’t really done any of this,” Rue spread out her arms, “I will be your canvas, and you can make as many mistakes on me as possible.”

“Really?” 

“Yep.” 

Ahiru sat on her bed, her legs crossed as she applied what Rue called eyeshadow onto her eyelid. 

“-but that’s just my opinion.” Rue had just finished gossiping about the four women that were in Ahiru’s ballet class. Apparently there was some beef between them when Mr. Katz was giving his ballet studio to his most advanced student, the girls believed that it should have been Rhea, that Rue was chosen out of favoritism. “I mean, she can’t even go en pointe for an entire show, much less do more than a couple pirouettes on her left side.” 

“I don’t think they like me.” Ahiru said. She was trying to mimic Kreahe’s makeup, the black lip and stripes of purple, but it was a lot harder than she thought it would be, one to get both sides even, and two to get enough color on to make it as stark as  it needed to be.

“They don’t like anyone but themselves. How are you doing?” 

“I think I’m done.” Ahiru placed the brush on her bed and handed Rue the mirror she brought. 

“Oh, wow, I didn’t think you’d go for something so simple.” 

“Um, thank you?”

“No, it’s good!” Rue put down the mirror and smiled at Ahiru. “For your first try anyway.” 

Ahiru laughed, “I’ll get better.”

“And, I believe it. Now turn around, I’ve been dying to mess with your hair.” 

And, Rue began to unbraid Ahiru’s hair, brushing it out and started to wrap it around a hot iron. It took two hours. 

“Okay, last one. Done!” Rue groaned, she turned off the iron and placed it on Ahiru’s nightstand. “Good Lord, Ahiru, you have so much hair.” 

“I know. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Let me finish.”

“Finish? There’s more?”

Rue chuckled, “There’s more. I’m going to gather it into a half up hairdo.”

“A wha- Okay.” 

Ahiru sat patiently as Rue finished her hair. 

“Here.” Rue handed Ahiru a mirror. 

She tugged at her hair. “You did that?” 

“Yes, you look good with curly hair, Ahiru.” Rue squeezed her shoulders. “Okay, before we watch all the scary movies I bought, I wanted to try something.” 

Ahiru slipped off the bed and followed Rue into the kitchen where she gave Ahiru a knife. 

“A knife?” 

“Mmhmm.” Rue pulled two apples out of the fruit basket and held one out for Ahiru. “Here, watch me.” 

“What do we need knives for?” 

“It’s an old kind of myth, you peel the apple in one peel, then you throw it over your shoulder and the letter it creates out of the peel is the first initial of the man you’re going to marry. I’ve always wanted to try it.” 

Rue started peeling the apple, careful to make sure it stayed intact and Ahiru followed lead, going slowly, barely making any progress. 

“Do you have yours?” Rue held up an oddly shaped sliver of apple skin, not perfectly straight nor perfect with curves. 

Ahiru stuck out her tongue. “Do yours, I’m still going.” 

“Alright.” Rue screwed her eyes shut and threw the ribbon over her shoulder. She turned on her heel. “Oh.” 

“What did you get?” Ahiru walked over to Rue and peered past her shoulder. “Oh.” 

On the floor the apple shaped into an awkward M shape, the left side longer than the other, but it was undeniably an M. 

“Are you ready?”

Ahiru looked at her peel, it was horrendous, some parts were dangerously thin while others were thick with chucks of apple. She threw it over her shoulder and heard it slap roughly with the floor.

“Oof,” Rue winced. “I think it broke.”

Ahiru turned and looked at the peel, a piece had broken off, forming a line in the manifestation of an F.

“Hmm, maybe it’s just an old wives tale, nothing more than silly little girls trying to glimpse their future. Oh,” Rue turned to Ahiru. “Oh, you’re crying.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Ahiru wiped at her eyes. “Can we talk about Fakir now?” 

Rue stood straighter, Ahiru had refused to talk about what had happened to anyone, not Mytho, not Rue, nor Pique or Lillie. But, Rue was ready to support her friend no matter what she said. 

“Of course.” 

Ahiru slipped past her friend and went to her bathroom; in the top drawer she kept the necklace he had given her. 

“Oh, this is-” Rue took the necklace in her hand, she remembered, once long ago, when she had gone to Fakir - of all people - crying because she didn’t have a necklace to go with her dress for her first date. “You know, as much as I loath Fakir, for the longest time, he was my only friend, he’s the reason I even met Autor, he lent this to me. It’s his mother’s. One of the only two things he kept of hers.”

“It’s his mothers?” 

Rue nodded. He let her borrow it, but with the threat that if she lost it, he would murder her and make it look like an accident. She mocked him, but every twenty minutes she would touch her neck just to make sure it was still there. 

“What’s the other?” 

“Her wedding band and engagement ring, he carries it on a necklace around his neck.”

“He would give me something so precious?” Ahiru scrubbed at her face. “I don’t deserve it.” 

“Ahiru, what happened?”

Ahiru shrugged, “After we went to the movie, there was- a.” She cleared her throat. “I slipped and he caught me, but he hit his head, so we went to his house to ice it and I feel asleep.”

“He didn’t… try anything with you, did he?”

“No! You and Mytho both asked me that.”

“I’m just checking.”

“When I woke up, he took me out to breakfast and we played this game.” Ahiru rubbed her arm, her eyes unfocused, mind lost to the memories of that day. “I would point to someone and he would make up a story for them.” 

“So, what happened?”

“I pointed to us, and-” 

_ “Let’s see, the knight destined to be ripped apart by a monstrous raven and a duck, that can turn into a girl, that can turn into a princess try pancakes for the first time.” _

“He just said something and it was like I woke up and for the first time I realized-” Ahiru groaned, “I don’t know what I realized, I just knew we couldn’t be together, not without it ending badly. Without me hurting him.” 

“Oh, don’t say that, what could you have done that would have hurt him? Ahiru, it sounds like you were falling-”

“I know, I know what it sounds like, but-” Ahiru blinked back tears, her voice was growing shakey.  _ But I’m just a duck, I’m not meant to have feelings this strong _ . “Rue, my  _ heart _ hurts when I think about him for too long, and when I look at him I see everything, I see everything the world has to offer me, I see the stars and feel the sun on my skin. I see every possible future as long as I have him, and yet-” 

“I know it hurts, but, just admit your feelings, let it out, nothing bad will happen.”

_ Yes it will. I’ll turn into a speck of light and disappear.  _

Perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing, if she did disappear, she wouldn’t have to worry any longer, she’d be free. 

“I love him.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Femio’s views of love and what a healthy relationship isn’t true, but in Ahiru’s case, she’s more worried that Fakir won’t have a person to talk to and just be with, Femio’s ideals don’t represent every relationship, just his own.


	9. November

She felt lighter.

She felt like she had the whole world at her fingertips. 

Still… 

She knew she couldn’t give him her heart. 

But, she still had a birthday gift to give him.

Ahiru smiled and pedaled faster, mindful of the long package she had secured to her back. It had been rather hard trying to find the best way to bring it to the garage without having to use her hands, and Charon had come up with this and fastened it for her. 

Like a quiver, only instead of arrows it held a longsword. 

A canary flew by her, a spot of cheering yellow in the ever grey sky. “I love you!” She told it, grinning ear to ear as she did.

“I love him,” She had said, and when she hadn’t disappeared into the atmosphere, she still had flesh and blood, she turned to Rue and told her, “I love you, Rue.” 

Her heart felt unburdened, as if it had been crushed by all the love she had to give, insufficiently expressed and left to gather dust. 

The moment Mytho returned home, she pounced on him, “I love you!” 

He chuckled and asked where the affection was coming from, and continued to tease her. 

Once, in the store, she almost slipped and told a customer that she, a woman they had just met, loved them. “I lo- ahem, have a great day!” 

She had been so afraid, and once she risked it all, she was rewarded with what was possibly the most exhilarant feeling in the world. 

For years, she was never able to convey her true feelings, even in her own mind did she dare not think the words. 

Every declaration was heartfelt and she meant it with total truth and affection. She was in love.

With the world, with the people around her, her friends, the family she had crafted for herself, with Mytho, and Rue, and Fakir. 

Fakir, perhaps, she loved the most, everyday she wanted to go find him and tell him, she wanted to whisper it in his ear, and shout it from the rooftops, to every person she encountered, but Rue told her to wait. 

“You hurt him a lot, too.” She had said. “Give him time to adjust, and then you can tell him.”

So she held back, she wouldn’t tell him.

She also wasn’t sure what would happen once she did tell him. She doubted much would change, but it was enough to make her hold back. 

And… 

What if he didn’t love her? 

Rue said he did, and Femio believed that he did just from one encounter, but Ahiru had known him for ten years. She had seen the way he acted with her, and wasn’t sure if it was love. 

But that didn’t matter to her as she swung around to the back of the mechanics and parked her bike against the wall before heading in. 

There was a rather large man there in addition to Fakir and his coworker, he wore a jumpsuit and his face was covered with some sort of helmet - or was it a mask? - cutting off sections of a car with a saw, sparks flew around him and Ahiru understood the mask - helmet?

Ahiru was careful not to go near the man in the mask (helmet) and made her way to Fakir, working on a truck, on his back, his legs sticking out from under the car.

“Fakir!” She yelled, knowing she had to with all the noise.

“Ahiru?” There was a bang, and he groaned. He rolled out from under the truck, rubbing his forehead.

“Sorry!” She squatted down and made to touch his forehead, she pulled off her gift instead. “Happy birthday!” 

“How did you-?” He shook his head. “Nevermind. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“It’s sort of yours to begin with. Open it!”

He sighed heavily and removed his gloves. He pried gently at the box, careful not to tear it to shreds. “What is this? Ahiru how much did this cost you?” 

“It’s the Lohengrin sword.”

Fakir lifted it out of the box. 

“When you were a knight, you convinced Charon to let you have it so you could protect Mytho, eventually you replaced this sword with your pen, and wrote for him instead.” 

He placed his hands on the metal, it used to shine, but it had corroded horribly. He put it back in the box. “Thank you.”

“I was hoping-” She winced, she wanted it to bring back bad memories rather than the ones he had with her. 

“I like it, thank you.” He closed the box and placed it to the side. 

“Would you like to go out to dinner?” She asked hurriedly, biting her lip as soon as the words flew out of her mouth. 

“What?”

“For your birthday, we used to- We would go to Ebine’s for your birthday, Charon, and even Hans and Retzel would come back. So would Mytho and Rue. I just- I don’t want to break tradition.” 

“Well, I don’t know Retzel and Hans well enough for them to come, and Mytho and I aren’t exactly close.”

“Charon could-”

“He would say no, trust me.”

“Well,” Ahiru made fists. “You and I can still go! Not to Ebine’s, but to a restaurant. To celebrate.” 

“Alright.”

“Really?” 

“Yes, but-”

“Oh no.”

“I’ll pay for it-”

“Fakir, you can’t pay for your own birthday dinner.” 

“I’ll pay for it. You can pick the restaurant.”

“No, I will not!”

“You will, and if you want dessert, appetizers, wine, anything, I’ll pay for it.” 

“Fine, so long as you get dessert, too.”

“You should know I don’t like-”

“You always eat dessert on your birthday! You would get ice cream, vanilla, and plain, and that’s what you’re getting tonight.” 

“Alright, I get dessert and you let me take care of the rest.” He held out his hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.” 

 

She called the calvary. Rue, Pique, and Lillie sat on her bed as she told them about the dinner she was going to. 

“Ahiru, that sounds like a date!” Pique said. “You bagged him!” 

“Go Ahiru!” Lillie agreed, clapping her hands. 

“So, why are we here?” Rue asked. “Need more fashion help?”

“What to say? What topics to choose from?” Pique offered.

“Or how to make sure you’re not being poisoned?” 

“No!” Ahiru shook her head, she was rather embarrassed about what she needed help about, at least Rue knew what had happened and what Ahiru felt, but she had mostly kept it from Pique and Lillie. “I need help making sure I don’t- say anything that I might regret.”

Rue understood immediately, but Pique and Lillie seemed lost.

“What?” Pique asked. 

Rue rolled her eyes. “She wants to make sure she doesn’t tell him she loves him.” 

“Really? I didn't think you guys were so far along!” Pique commended her. 

“Oh, you caitiff!” Lillie said. “Why wouldn’t you tell him?”

Ahiru shrunk in on herself.

“It’s not the right time, Lillie.” Rue told her, placing her hand on Lillie’s shoulder. 

But Lillie bolted up, her fist held in the air. “Then when is! The time is now! Go, Ahiru! Tell him!”  

Rue grabbed her arm and tugged her back down. “Sit. Down. She doesn’t want to hurt him anymore than she already has.”

“What do you mean?” Pique asked, poking her head beyond Lillie to look to Rue. 

“Ahiru and Fakir had a ‘break up’ a month or so ago. It was pretty bad.” Rue pulsed her finger when she said break up, but Ahiru didn’t know the intention behind it.

“I got scared, that’s all.” She said. 

“I don’t blame you. So, do you want to tell him?” Pique cocked her head. 

“I do.” Ahiru nodded, “But it’s not the right time. Not yet.” 

“And when the time is right, she will tell him.” Rue nodded. “But now is not the right time.” 

“What makes you want to tell him?” Pique asked, leaning forward.

“Everything he does makes me want to tell him. When I look into his eyes, or when he makes me smile.”

“Well, maybe just don’t look at him the entire night, and plug your ears so you don’t hear anything he says.” 

“That’s absurd.” Rue shook her head. “If she did that he would ask her what was wrong.” 

“Oh, that’s true, huh?” Pique scratched her head. “Well, then- hmm.”

“I have an idea.” said Rue. “Why don’t you just try and focus on all the things you hate about him?”

“Yes!” Lillie agreed. “All the vile, horrendous, grotesque things about him and his mannerisms and his very person!”

“That might work.” Pique nodded. “So, what do you hate about him?”

The three turned their unwavering attention to Ahiru.

“Well- I don’t like, how tall he is? It makes my neck hurt?”

“There you go!” 

“Keeping going.”

“Hit ‘im where it hurts!” 

Ahiru brought her knees to her chest. “His hair is a mess, it’s always tangled and I know he has a brush.” 

“You do?”

“How do you-”

“Shh! Go on, Ahiru.” 

“I want to brush it for him, so it looks nice, and run my fingers-”

“Ahiru!”

“No!”

Rue looked at her with sympathy. “Keep going, Ahiru, I know it’s hard to find things about him you hate, and while you would never change any of them if you got the chance, you still see them. No man is perfect.” 

“He’s like a thorn bush, he never lets anyone get too close, and I wish he would just let some people in.” 

Here, he was all alone, at least in Gold Crown he had Charon and Retzel, herself and Mytho and Rue. Even still, Retzel, Mytho and Rue were seldom ever there. 

“I hate that he’s so hard to read, he only ever lets the barest hint of emotion show on his face, how am I supposed to guess what he’s thinking?” 

Ahiru pursed her lips, thinking about him, what she hated about him, trying to focus on that feeling and that alone, but it was hard, because in truth she didn’t hate anything about him, Rue had been right, he was far from perfect but there wasn’t a single thing she would change. 

“Go on, there’s more I can tell!” Lillie said.

“I- I can’t think of anything else.” Ahiru shook her head. 

“Well, just think about all of those things,” Rue said. “And you will do well.” 

Ahiru stood. “Great! Thank you, you can go home I have to get ready now.”

“You think we weren’t going to stay and help you get ready?” Pique asked. 

“Well- n-no I didn’t-”

Rue smirked. She stood and walked towards the closet, “I’ll start with what you wear. Pique, you’re remarkable with hair, will you help her?”

Pique stood and saluted.

“Lillie, I’m thinking about this blue dress, can you handle doing her makeup?” 

“Oh, of course Miss. Rue!”

“Don’t over do it.” Rue warned. “If she looks like a neon billboard I will redo it all myself.” 

Lillie giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, before escaping into the bathroom. “I’m going to call him and tell him if he comes on that motorcycle I’ll strangle him.”

As Rue left the room, she threw down a dress on Ahiru’s bed. She had no recollection of ever buying it, navy blue and made of velvet, tight with long sleeves, and Ahiru wondered if Rue had planted it there. 

It went to her knees and she had only enough time to make sure she even liked how it looked on her before she was pulled into the bathroom by Lillie and Pique. 

“Should I curl it?” Pique asked Lillie. 

“Hmm, it’s a little flat since her hair is so straight and a bit thin, sure!” 

“That’ll take hours.” Rue said as she came in. “We don’t have time for that.” 

“But look at it.” Pique picked up a piece of hair and ran her hand under it. 

“No, just make it work. We don’t want her to look too done up, right?”

“What did Fakir say?” Ahiru asked. 

Rue rolled her eyes. “He asked where he’d get a car and I told him to take one of the ones he working on, something about company policy, blah blah blah. I’m going to go drop off my car and have Mytho pick me up.” 

Pique ran a brush through her hair, pulling and twisting strands of hair to the back of her head. “Simple half-up?”

Rue nodded before coming around to face Ahiru. “Oh, good, Lillie, I was worried you would go too far with it.” 

“Why, thank you.” Lillie smiled. “I’ve always thought a clean face is a pure face.”

“Have you really?”

“So, Ahiru, what’s the goal of tonight?” Rue asked, her face serious as she locked eyes with Ahiru. 

“To um, spend his birthday with him?”

“No! To. Not. Slip. Up.” She gave a curt nod. “Think about his hair, all gross and matted.” 

“His thorny ways! How he won’t reach out to other people!” Lillie said.

“And the crick in the neck you get when you have to spend time with him.” 

“Right.” Ahiru got a glance of her appearance in the mirror. 

 

She was careful not to fall down the stairs, she wore plain flats - after almost a half hour of Lillie trying to convince her she shouldn’t - but she made herself look at her feet rather than Fakir, who had cleaned up. 

Rue looked out the window when she heard the car honk. “Wow,” She said. “I didn’t think Fakir owned a pair of slacks.” 

The three other girls elbowed and pushed past each other to see what Rue saw. 

“His hair, he’s too tall, he’s thorny, and hard to read.” Ahiru said under her breath. 

The four of them - now including Mytho - watched her from the window. 

She smiled at Fakir and waved. “Happy birthday!” She shouted.

“Thank you. Do I look okay?” He gestured to himself, allowing Ahiru to roll her eyes up and down his body. Which had been a mistake. 

_ His hair. _ She looked at his hair, but, for once, it was nice, brushed out, nearly shining under the streetlamps. 

“Your hair.” 

“Yeah. I didn’t have to wear my helmet, so no helmet hair.” 

She smiled and nodded. “You look nice. I- I like it.” 

“C’mon.” He pushed himself off the car and walked around to her side and opened her door. 

“What are you doing?”

“Being a gentleman, get in.” 

Still thorny, at least. 

“So, where are we going?” He sat in the driver’s seat.

Ahiru gasped, she had been so worked up about not slipping up she had forgotten to ask about what restaurants there were to choose from. “I didn’t pick one.” 

“What do you feel like eating?”

“Hmm… bread.” 

The corner of his lip twitched. “Have you ever had a bread bowl?” 

“No, what is that?” 

“It’s this weird American thing.” Fakir started the car and pulled out of the lot. “Autor got obsessed with American culture for a while, and petitioned his favorite restaurant to add a bread bowl to the menu. It’s soup but rather than put it in a normal bowl, they put it in bread.” 

“Really?”

“Yes. He made me eat it once, and I will admit it’s not bad.”

“That sounds amazing! Let's go there.”  

They talked during the drive, and when they got to the restaurant, they didn’t have to wait long to be seated. A hostess took them to a table set up against a back wall, away from most of the noise of the other diners and she told them a server would be with them shortly. 

Ahiru looked through the menu, although she knew what she wanted to get, and couldn’t stop herself from catching glimpses of Fakir over the top of her menu. She blushed furiously when she caught his eye. 

“Qua-” She slapped her hand over her mouth. 

“What was that?” He asked, taken aback. 

She pouted, for nearly ten months she hadn’t let herself quack, she nearly thought she was over it. “It’s um- “

But she was interrupted by the server. 

Fakir watched the server leave, before turning back to Ahiru, a smirk bestowed upon him. “So, what was that, exactly?”

“I’m a duck, remember? I used to- well, I thought I used to quack, but I guess it’s back. It used to turn me back into a duck.” 

“How would you turn back?”

“Well, normally I would just need a drop of water, but it was very inconvenient because I would always be- um!”

“Be what?”

“Naked.”

He covered his mouth with his hand, moving it to cover his eyes. “Of course.” 

The server came back, taking their order before scurrying off. 

“How has your birthday been?” She asked, hoping to steer the topic of conversation away from her naked body. 

“Fine. Normally I don’t deal with customers who come up to the desk, but someone came in and asked if we changed tires, I said ‘yes we change tires’, and he asked, ‘what about oil, can you change my oil?’ and I said ‘yes we change oil, too. It’s a mechanics shop’. He thinks about it, looks outside, and I can see his car, it’s an old thing, beaten up and crawling on its last limb, and then he asks me if we replace windows. Ahiru, I know you don’t know what I do, much less the extent of what my job entails, but no, we do not change windows.”

Ahiru smiled, she loved it when he told stories, her attention was his and she began to get lost in his words, the sound of his voice.   

“Then, he gets mad, he accuses me of lying to him, of not telling him all the services we offer. He slams his cane on the floor and asks to speak to Sullivan, and I tell him that Sullivan died many years ago and now his son runs the shop. Sullivan’s son doesn’t like to go by Sullivan he-” 

His height. His hair. His thorniness. He can’t be read. 

But it was so hard to think of all the things she hated about him when in reality, it only made her love him more. 

She was so short, she’s envious of Fakir’s height, but when he held her as a duck, or listed her into the air in a dance, it was like she was flying. 

The way he controlled his hair was just  _ him. _ It was long and unruly, wild, but she would describe him in very much the same way.  

He pushed everyone away but it only made her so much more grateful that he let her in, that she knows him so well. 

“Fakir, I-” She snapped her jaw shut. 

He stopped his story. “What? Is everything okay?” 

Ahiru searched his face, for any sign of emotion, but he was so well guarded, that even after ten years she doubted if she could trust just his expressions alone. “Nothing, I’m sorry. Continue your story.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows, studying her face for any clues as to what she was thinking and started up his story once more. 

How could she ever tell him that she loved him without knowing what he felt? His countenance was like a brick wall, blocking her off from what was just behind it. 

Dinner arrived and they ate in silence, and when he left to use the restroom, she flagged down the waitress and asked if they served ice cream? 

“Sure!” She said brightly. “What kind?”

“Vanilla, plain, nothing on it for him.” 

“And for you?”

“I’ll share with him.” She smiled, small, only allowing herself a small moment of nostalgia, Fakir would always give her the first bite. Always. 

He came back and soon ice cream was brought to them. 

“You didn’t get yourself anything?”

She shook her head. “I’m fine.” 

“Here.” He picked up the spoon and scooped out a bite for her, and held it across the table. She beamed, wrapping her lips around the spoon before he took it back. “Is it good?”

She nodded. “It’s amazing!” She picked up her own spoon and stole another scoop. 

“If you wanted some you should have gotten your own.” 

“Share! It’s polite.” 

Together, they devoured it. 

Fakir stood and placed a pile of money on the table. “Alright, ready?”

“No, I can’t move.” She groaned. 

“Don’t be silly, you didn’t eat that much.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, but he didn’t let go, choosing to hold hers as he lead her back to the car. 

“So how was it?” 

“How was what?”

“Your birthday!” Ahiru leaned against the car; tired, she stretched her arms above her head. 

“I liked it.” He took a step closer. “Normally I spend my birthday alone, Charon will send me a card with some money, but that’s usually it. I didn’t think I’d like going out and wasting money for something as meaningless as a birthday.” 

“Hey! It’s not meaningless, you’re a year older than you were last year.”

“Closer to death.” 

“That’s very grim, I think Drosselmeyer left more of an impact on you then he thought.” 

“It’s the truth, why celebrate-”

“Look out!” Ahiru screeched as a raven dived at them. 

Fakir pressed himself to Ahiru, blocking her from any attack the raven was able to land. Fakir groaned. 

“Are you okay?”

“The bastard got me.” He reached for his arm and when he pulled it back, it was covered in blood. 

“Fakir!” She warned as the raven swooped back. “Fakir, your sword!” 

His eyes opened and he nodded. “It’s in the truck. Tell me when the raven goes back up.” 

Ahiru nodded, looking for the moving speck against the black sky. “Now!” 

Fakir pushed her to the ground and she let him, he rushed to the trunk. 

There was a screech and Ahiru looked back to the raven, falling back to earth, aimed for her. She held her hands up the block herself, but the next sound she heard was a cry. 

Ahiru opened her eyes and saw Fakir holding the Lohengrin sword, swinging it at the raven, and for a moment, he looked like the fearsome knight she had first met. 

He made a final jab and the raven burst into light, feathers floating to the floor. He dropped the sword immediately and ran to her, bending down on his knees to check on her. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” Ahiru sat up and hissed, she looked down at her thigh, scraped and bleeding. “Ow. You killed it. How?”

“I- I don’t know, I’ve never held a sword in my life.” 

“Not this one.” 

“No, not this one. Can you stand?” 

She nodded, “I’ll be fine, but.” She pulled at his arm. “Your back.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a cut.” 

“Turn around.” 

He rolled his eyes and turned and Ahiru saw that his entire back was stained red. “Fakir.” She said softly. She sat on her knees. “Take your shirt off.”

“Wh-what? Ahiru, no, we’re in the middle of the parking lot.” 

“Rue’s not going to forgive you if you stain her seats.” 

He groaned. “Fine. Alright.” He started to unbutton his shirt and Ahiru found out that the blood made it look worse than it was. “Why do these birds keep attacking us?”

“He only got your skin.” She whispered. “I don’t know. The ravens used to attack us because we were trying to fix Mytho so he could fight the monster raven.” She picked up his discarded shirt and began cleaning his back. “Do you think I should ask the restaurant for napkins?” 

“No. No need to get anyone else involved.”

“Right.” She nodded, choosing instead to apply pressure on his shoulder, hoping to stop the blood. “Rue keeps getting followed by them as well.” 

“Is… your thigh okay?” 

She shook her head. “It’s fine, I’ll clean it when I get home. I have alcohol and bandages, I’ll clean you up, too.”

“I’ll be fine.” 

“I know- I know the last time one of us stayed at the others house it didn’t end great, but, please? I can’t leave you like this, and this is worse than a bump on your head.” 

He nodded, turning towards her and placing his hand on her leg. Pushing up the edge of her dress to look at the scrape, his thumb running up and down the flesh around it that was uninjured. 

“I’m okay.” 

“Can you stand?” 

“Yes, can you?” 

“I just killed a raven, and you think I can’t stand?” 

“You lost so much blood.”

His thumb stopped. “Let’s just get home, alright? We can worry about each other there.” 

The drive was awkward, Fakir leaned away from the seat and Ahiru held her leg up in the air, the fabric rubbing horribly with her wound, and she was sure it didn’t feel stellar on Fakir’s back either. 

“We have to go in quietly, I don’t want Mytho to know, okay?” She held her finger over her lips and Fakir nodded, mirroring her. 

Rue had left her TV after her sleepover with Ahiru, so when Ahiru entered her living room, the TV on quite loudly, with Mytho, Rue, Pique, and Lillie all asleep on each other, she wasn’t sure what to think. 

“I thought people watched TV.”

“Shh.” Fakir pushed her to her bathroom. “You first, sit on the counter.” 

He moved around, picking out all he needed with her help before he started tending to her leg wound. 

“It’s not even that bad, you should let me do you first.” 

He wiped at her leg, his left hand he used to hold back her dress. 

Ahiru cried loudly when he started wiping at it with alcohol, biting her finger so she wouldn’t wake the others. 

“There.” 

“Okay.” She slipped off the counter, but that had been a mistake as she brushed up against his chest. “O-okay.” Her eyes scanned his torso, landing instinctively on his birthmark but rovering to other areas as well. 

“Ahiru,” He said softly, nearly making her jump. The back of his hands ran over her cheek, and he tilted his head.

“I have to fix your back now.” 

Fakir cleared his throat and stepped away. “Can you reach my shoulder?”

“No. Can you kneel?” 

“Sure.”

Ahiru stepped over his legs until she stood behind him. She put her hand on his uninjured shoulder and reached to the cotton and alcohol. 

She cleaned the cut, which was smaller still, and covered it with a bandaid. 

“You don’t want to go to the hospital?” 

“No, I’m fine. I’ll heal.” 

“Do you want to stay here?” 

Fakir stood carefully, so as not to trip her. “Do you want me to?” 

“Yes. I never liked the ravens, I don’t understand why they’re here. I don’t feel… safe.”

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

“I have your shirt.” She told him, opening the door to the bathroom. “The one you gave me.” She handed it to him. 

“Thank you.” 

She nodded, going to her nightstand and took out her pajamas and started taking off the dress. 

“Wait- I’ll leave.” 

She froze, “I’m sorry. You’ve seen me -”

“Not here.” 

She turned around to look at him, and he shook his head.

“If I were to see you undress, I would want it to be under different circumstances.” He left the room, and she felt horribly awkward. 

 

“Ahiru.” 

Her face was being poked. 

Ahiru opened her eyes and glared at Mytho. “What?”

“Why are there so many people in my house?” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know a lot of people headcanon Ahiru as asexual (possibly even Fakir) but that’s not my headcanon so suck it
> 
> *you think I had fun writing this? You think I liked writing about Ahiru admiring Fakir’s naked chest? Or Fakir touching her thigh? You think I enjoyed writing their suffering? They just wanna kiss man and I won’t let them. Hell yeah I’m having fun, get out of my house.


	10. December

Ahiru sat on the guardrails on the outcrop that overlooked Nordlingen, Fakir by her side, laughing at what he had said. 

She had called their little outcrop Mallard’s Perch, and she had let the name slip to Fakir. 

“It’s nice, I like it. Better than what I've been calling it.” 

“And what have you been calling it?” 

“Nothing.” 

She laughed. Then shivered. “It’s been getting a lot colder.”

“It’s winter, of course it’s getting colder.”

“I’m not used to it, I normally fly south for the winter.” She felt the weight of his jacket being placed on her shoulders. “Oh. Thank you, you won’t be cold?”

“No. You fly south for the winter?”

She nodded. “I can’t stop it. The first time I left was so soon after Mytho and Rue left, you thought I had just flown away. When I came back for Spring you were very upset with me.” She smiled, feeling impish looking back on it. “I felt bad for worrying you.”

“Did I ever try to stop you?”

“Not directly, no.” She shook her head. “But, every time winter would come close, you would start buying more food and blankets, preparing more firewood, like you could get me to stay.”

“And, did you ever try to stay?”

“I did. But it would just happen, I would be flying and then suddenly I wasn’t in Goldcrown anymore, and I had no inclination to go back until spring.” 

“I missed you, didn’t I?”

Ahiru peered at him through her lashes, his face was turned towards the sky, but his eyes looked to her. “Yes. You always did. I was gone for three months at a time, and you were all by yourself. I liked to imagine what sorts of things you would do in my time away.”

“What sort of things?” 

“I liked to pretend you would practice your dancing, so that when I came back you and me could dance together. Or you were making friends, someone to occupy your time.” She shrugged. “I could never ask.”

“So, this will be your first winter than?”

“Oh! Yeah I guess it will be!” She grinned. “What do you do when it gets this cold?” She wondered, placing a finger to her chin. 

“Play in the snow-”

“The what?” 

He turned his head to her. “The snow. You don’t know what snow is?” 

Ahiru shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.” 

“It’s like rain, but its been frozen as it falls from the sky because the air is so cold.”

“That sounds like that would hurt!” 

“Hmm, that’s hail. No, snow is soft, and fluffy. Gentle.” 

“Wow.” Ahiru looked to the sky, as if she could make it snow. “Do you think it’ll snow this winter?” 

Fakir nodded. “I haven’t seen a winter where it didn’t snow.” 

They headed back, Ahiru relinquished Fakir’s jacket, he would need it for the ride. 

Later that night, she set the table for four, seeing as Rue and Charon had both been invited for dinner. 

Rue and Mytho flirted in the kitchen, while Charon sat on the couch watching Rue’s TV. 

“So, why exactly did we invite everyone for dinner?” Ahiru asked. Not that she wasn’t grateful she loved being in the company of her friends. 

“Well, I wanted to thank the two people that gave us jobs in our time of desperation.” Mytho smiled to Rue and she blushed prettily. “I thought it would be a little Christmas gift. Though, I will get you an actual gift for Christmas.”

“I should hope so.” Rue teased. “I already have yours.”

“You do?” Mytho gave her a lopsided grin. “Where is it?” 

“At home! It’s not even wrapped yet.” 

Ahiru smiled to herself, but the glint of Rue’s engagement ring caught her eye. Autor, who still had not woken up, still kept her chained to his side, when she should have been free to choose Mytho. Drosselmeyer was cruel to give her such a fate. 

Ahiru paused, Drosselmeyer had almost slipped from her mind, her life had been so… 

Happy. 

It was hardly the tragedy she expected, there was pain, but she wasn’t cursed twice over, and other than her growing friendships, there didn’t seem to be any story for her to decipher. 

As Princess Tutu it had been so easy, he role so easy to decipher. 

Duck, to girl, to Princess to collect the scattered heart shards of Mytho’s heart. 

Here? There was almost no distinguishable role for her to step in or out of. 

The Princess. 

The Raven Daughter. 

The Prince. 

The Knight to Writer. 

She was a woman, she worked with Charon, she danced ballet, she searched for Drosselmeyer and the Prince and the Raven, she loved and gave her heart, but what role did she have? What was her label? 

What kind of story was this? 

Mytho called everyone to the table and her thoughts were broken and they ate well. 

Mytho and Ahiru escorted Charon and Rue to the door, waving good-bye to them and then it started to rain. 

“Oh, the first snow.” Mytho smiled, he held out his hand and let the snow melt into his hand. 

“Snow?” Ahiru looked from Mytho to the gently falling snow and held out her hands. A single piece of snow fell into her palms and the heat of her body made it melt. She gasped. “It melted!” 

Mytho chuckled, “Of course it did. Coming in?”

Ahiru shook her head, holding out her hands. “I’ll stay outside for a bit.”

“Alright, but I cooked so you’re doing dishes.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him. “I know!”

The door shut behind him and she was alone. 

It started to fall harder and soon the railing was covered in flakes of snow. She would brush it off and watch it build again to her amusement. 

She looked to the sky and let them fall and melt on her face. 

She rushed inside and picked up the phone. She bounced on her toes as she waited for him to pick up.

“Fakir!” 

_ “Yes?”  _

“Fakir, it’s snowing!” She whispered into the phone, to keep Mytho from hearing. 

_ “I saw.”  _

Ahiru paused, his voice, as he spoke to her, was soft, softer than the fresh snow. “It was really pretty.”

_ “I thought you’d like it.”  _

“I think I’m going to like winter.” 

He rasped a chuckle.  _ “So you’ll stay for the winter?” _

“I can’t fly south, it’s not that simple anymore.” 

_ “You can do a lot with snow.” _

“Really? Like what?” 

_ “People like to make snowmen, and angles, they throw snowballs at each other.” _

“We should do that!” 

_ “Yeah?” _

“You should come by.”

There was silence.  _ “Ahiru, it’s late.” _

“I- I know.”

_ “What will your brother think?” _

“He won’t care.”

_ “Hmm. Are you sure?” _

“Yes… No.”

_ “Why don’t I come by tomorrow?” _

“No! It’ll all be gone by then!” 

_ “It’s not going to melt.” _

“But, what if it does?”

_ “Alright. I’ll come over. Wear something warm.”  _

“Okay.” She smiled and hung up the phone, running to her room to throw a thick sweater over her attire. 

She threw open the door and ran down the steps. And when she got the snow laden parking lot she started to spin, throwing out her arms and getting lost in the snow that melted on her face and hands. 

She stopped only when she heard the sound of his motorcycle approaching. 

She shushed him. “Mytho will hear you.” 

Fakir took off his helmet. “And what am I supposed to do? Park it down the block? You would force me to walk?” 

She grabbed his hand, pulling him off the motorcycle. “C’mon. What’s a snowman? Or an angel, and a snowball?” 

“This is.” He bent down, scooping up a hand full of snow and lobbed it at her. 

She screeched as it hit her, exploding into powder, but she was overcome with laughter. “Show me!” 

He came up beside her. “Make your hand a cup.”

“Mmhmm.” 

“And dig it into the snow.” 

“Right.” 

“Pack it into a ball.” 

She slapped her hand over the snow, making it compact. 

Fakir took a few steps back and held out his arms. “Here, take a free shot.” 

She closed one eye and stuck out her tongue, aiming just too far to the left and hitting his bike instead. 

He smirked at her. “You have no aim.” 

“That was my first one! Let me try again!” 

“One free shot.” He bent down and made himself another one and threw it at her. “Now you have a moving target and a nemesis.” 

She laughed, picking up more snow, barely scraping against his arm. “Ha! I got you!”

“What? That? That was a flesh wound.” 

She chased after him, and every once in a while, he would risk slowing to pick up a bit of snow. It was one of those moments that she was able to gain on him and tackled him. 

She grabbed the utmost amount of snow she could hold in both hands and held it above his face, but she stopped. 

He was  _ laughing _ . 

His chest shook, and his eyes were screwed shut. 

The snow fell from her hands and he brushed it off his face. 

She had gotten close to him, her face just inches from his. 

His laughter halted, his smile still there and his eyes kept looking at her lips as he laid there in the snow, surely it melted into the back of his clothes. He lifted his hand and brushed his fingers against her jaw, tilting his head ever so slightly, leaning towards her. 

“Show me what a snow angel is.” She said abruptly, falling away from him and landing in the snow.

“Lay down.” He said and she laid down, her shoulder touching his. He smirked, “You’ll need a little more space than that.”

She gave him two scoots.

“You need to hold out your arms.” He extended his arms out, knocking against her nose.

She rolled away from him and held out her arms, their fingertips just touching. 

“Okay, now go like this.” He started flapping his arms and legs. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

She held out her arms and while she felt silly at first, like she was uselessly flapping featherless wings. But then she started to go faster and couldn’t stop the snickers that escaped from her throat. 

“Now get up, but carefully.”

She stood, carefully, and tiptoed her way out from her snow bed. She gasped. “Look!” She pointed to the floor. “I made that. Wow! Yours is a lot bigger than mine!” 

“I should hope it is.” 

She smiled at him. “I wanna make another one!” She held out her arms and let herself fall back but he caught her. 

“Woah! I don’t think there’s enough snow to do that yet.” He laid her down gently. 

She looked to the sky as she made her second. She could see the white snow falling from the black sky.

She wanted to make more, but Fakir had yet to show her what a snowman was.

“Make a snowball.” He said. “But, don’t throw it at me.”

She threw it anyway.

“Make another one.”

“Okay.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

“Now put it on the ground and roll it.” 

“Okay.” She placed it back in the snow and made her best effort to roll it and it started to collect more snow. “Look at it! When do I stop?”

“When it’s about as tall as your waist.” He stood and made a second snowball.

“It’s getting really heavy!” She panted, pushing the it with all her might, but the larger it got, the more effort it took to push. Fakir came up beside her and started to roll it for her. 

“There, that should be enough.” Fakir patted the snow and picked up the one he had made and stacked it on top of the first. “Now make one more, but make it small enough to go on top of the first.” 

“Yes, sir!” 

She ran across the lot and made the last ball. Fakir came up beside her and picked it up. 

“Is that it?” 

“We need two sticks and some stones.” 

“Oh! There are some stones by the door!” Ahiru smiled. 

“I’ll find the sticks.”

Ahiru ran to the door of the antiques shop, covered by an awning and completely free of snow, she picked up as many rocks as she could carry in one hand. 

Fakir stood by the snow man and drove the sticks into the middle ball. 

“Fakir, don’t stab him!” 

“It’s his arms!” He called back. “Bring the stones.” 

Ahiru rushed back and gave him the stones. He made a smiling face, two stones for the eyes, and five for his smile, saving three to mimic buttons down the middle. 

Ahiru gasped. “Hey, it’s a man!” 

“It’s supposed to be.” 

“I wish I could stay for winter.” She pouted, poking the snowman’s face, where his cheek would have been. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Next year, I’ll fly south for winter again. I like the snow.” She paused. “Fakir?”

“Yes?” 

“What’s my role?” 

“Your role?” 

“In this story, I can’t figure it out.” 

“You’re you. You don’t have to step into a role, you just have to be yourself.” 

_ And that self is a duck. _

She focused on the snowman’s smile, tempted to fix it into a frown to match her own.

 

“It’s a what party?” Ahiru asked, sitting, once more, in her bathroom while Rue fixed her hair. 

“A New Years Eve Party, to celebrate the end of the year and the start of the next.”

Ahiru tapped her chin. “Shouldn’t the year start in spring?”

“Hey, don’t look at me I’m not the one who invented the calendar.” Rue had pinned Ahiru’s braid around her head like a crown, taking out a few pieces from the front to curl them with the iron. “It’s a party hosted by the city and everyone goes.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun. It’ll be nice to see everyone.”

Rue agreed. “Now hold still, I’m going to do your makeup. Y’know, one day you’ll have to learn how to do this yourself.”

“I never asked you to do it.”

“And have you risk looking anything less than your very best?” Rue tsked. 

“I like my hair like this.” Ahiru mentioned, pulling at the curls. 

“Thank you, I figured it would be better than having your hair down, it would probably get all staticy brushing against so many people.”

Rue took a little bit more time on Ahiru’s hair, pulling some more out and curling it, making one last touch to her makeup. 

“How do you feel about the dress?” Rue asked her, as they pulled on their coats to leave. 

It had been another tight velvet dress, but this one was black, and long, reaching her ankles. 

“I think I’d like it more if it didn’t have the slit up the side.” Ahiru pulled it down, long and covering as it was, her leg would escape from the fabric and get grabbed by the winter air. 

“Sorry, it was the only appropriate dress I had for you to borrow. Besides this one.” She ran her hand down the fabric laying over her chest. “But, this was what I intended on wearing. The blue one would have been too short and the only other dresses I have are summer dresses.” 

“I couldn’t have one of those?”

“It isn’t summer, dear.” Rue smiled. 

Once at the party, Ahiru was surprised at how many people had come, when Rue said everyone, she had meant everyone. Ahiru peered over heads, and past bodies looking for-

“He’s not here.” She said. “He’s never come to one. I think it’s mostly because he doesn’t have a suit.”

Mytho stood next to them, Ahiru had her arm latched onto his elbow, and he wore a suit, black and tailored to fit. Rue, Ahiru had noticed, could barely keep her eyes off of him. 

A server passed by with a tray of champagne and Rue grabbed a glass, nearly downing it. 

Mytho grabbed two and handed one to Ahiru. 

She held it awkwardly, and sipped at it. 

She never had alcohol and had seen Fakir drunk once. It had been the anniversary of it all… 

One would call it drinking away his sorrows. 

But Ahiru wished it hadn’t been, for that meant he felt their meeting had been a sorrow, their journey. 

Rue was on her second glass. 

They had served wine at their wedding, raising a glass in celebration, and Ahiru, as a duck, watched as people lost themselves with each glass. 

She would have to watch Rue and make sure she didn’t drink herself to death.

“Ahiru.” Rue slurred. “I want to tell you something.” 

Rue pulled Ahiru into a closet, pushing jackets and sleeves away from her face. 

“Rue? What is it?” 

“I’m in love with your brother. Shh.” She put her finger to Ahiru’s lips. “Don’t tell Autor.”

“I won’t. Rue?”

“Mmm?” 

“Why don’t you leave Autor?”

“Leave him? How could I possibly do that? He loves me.”

“But, you love Mytho. Don’t you deserve love, too?” 

Rue rubbed her face on the sleeve of a fur coat. “Ahiru, I will never be loved.” 

Ahiru shook her head. It was so similar to the lies the Raven had told Rue, who had told her that here? “What do you mean? Of course you are.”

“I have never been loved in this life. I was abandoned as a baby. I was teased by the other girls in the foster home. I was never adopted. No one wanted me.” 

“Rue, no that-” 

“I don’t think I ever deserved love. No one had ever loved me.” She picked at the chipping paint of the inside of the door. “I suppose, in some strange way, Fakir loved me. In his annoying stupid way.” She blew at her bangs. 

“So, why do you think you need to stay with Autor?”

“He came to me and I thought that he was the only one who would ever want me.” She leaned her head against the wall. “He asked me out and I jumped at the chance. Of love and happiness, but-”

“You never found it.” 

Rue nodded. “He loved me, but I could never give him my heart. Not in the way he had given me his. He proposed and I said yes. We’ve been engaged for two years.”

“Mytho _ loves  _ you.”

Ahiru saw a tear slip down Rue’s cheek. “But how do I know he’ll love me forever?”

“Rue, I can’t tell you how I know, but you’re meant to be together.” 

“How? How can you know?”

Ahiru shook her head, wrapping her arms around her friend instead. 

Rue was cautious, but returned her hug, she began to sob into Ahiru’s shoulder. 

The closet door open. 

“There you are-” Mytho stopped. “What happened? Rue?” 

“You should take her home.” Ahiru passed Rue off to Mytho, he caught her as she stumbled. “She had one too many drinks.” 

He held her to his chest, choosing to lift her off her feet. “And you? How will you get home?” 

“I’ll take her home.” A hand came to rest on Mytho’s shoulder and when he turned he saw Fakir standing behind him.

Mytho regarded him. He nodded. 

Fakir held out his arm for Ahiru to hold onto, but she did not step out of the closet, mostly because she had taken to admiring the suit he wore. She understood now why Rue had taken to drinking so much, a man in a suit was nearly irresistible.  

“Rue said you didn’t come to these things.” 

“You were south for the winter, it would be rude to enjoy such a party while you were away.” He lead her away from the closet, to a room where a band played and people danced. He pulled her onto the floor. 

“I wasn’t here. Like  _ here  _ here.”

“Goldcrown never had parties for New Years Eve?” 

“Not that I know of.” She smiled at him. “But they had the Fire Festival. I was never able to go.” 

“Not even while you had the pendant?” 

“I was searching for a heart shard at the time.” 

“Ah. Is it anything like this?” 

“No, people dress like it’s old times and the couple with the best dance gets a gold apple.” 

“What an odd tradition.” 

Ahiru shrugged. “I suppose it is to someone who's not used to it. This is weird to me.” She yawned greatly. “Should we get home?”

“Now? It’s not even midnight yet.”

“Midnight! We have to stay until midnight?” 

“Of course, we stay up until it’s the next day, when the new year starts.” 

“It doesn’t start in the morning?”

“No, it happens at midnight.”

“The new year starts in the middle of winter and the day starts in the middle of the night?”

Fakir smirked, “Yes, I suppose that is strange to someone not used to such traditions.” 

The band paused, speaking aloud to the crowd that they were taking a break and the dancers dispersed. 

Ahiru wrapped her hand around Fakir’s arm and they walked around, stopping when one of her friends came to greet her. 

She introduced Pique and Lillie to Fakir. 

“They were my friends in Goldcrown, but after the story ended, they forgot about me. Any memory they had of me was just...”

“Gone?”

She nodded. “It made me sad. But, I’m glad we can be friends here.”

“Do you think they’ll forget you again once we go back?” 

Ahiru paused. She hadn’t considered that. “I-I don’t know. Do you think they will?”

“It’s possible. If you would like, I can invite them over to our house and they can meet you.”

Ahiru shrugged. “They’ll just think I’m a pet.”

“Possibly. If they’re used to a world of fantasy, it’s possible they’ll believe me.” 

“You would do that for me?” 

“Of course. If it made you happy.” He had stopped, making her look into his eyes, they had grown soft again and he raised his hand to hold her chin. 

“Ahiru, hello.”

“Miss. Raetsel.” Ahiru smiled, turning to her. “Have you meet Fakir?” 

“No.” Raetsel turned from Ahiru to Fakir. “Hello, my name is Raetsel, and this is my husband, Hans.” She gestured to the man beside her, so quiet Ahiru hadn’t noticed him at first. 

He smiled at them. “The pleasure’s mine.” 

“It’s almost midnight, do you know who you’re kissing?” Raetsel winked. 

“What?”

“No one’s kissing anyone.” Fakir said, covering Ahiru’s question with his words. 

Raetsel smirked, she walked away. 

“Fakir, what did she mean?” 

Fakir turned red. “It's a silly tradition. Once it hits midnight, you’re supposed to kiss someone.” 

“Oh.” Ahiru blushed. “That- that is silly.” 

“We should head outside.” He said. “The fireworks will go off soon, as well.”

“Fireworks?”

“Have you seen any before?” 

Ahiru shook her head. “I don’t think I have.” 

“The city always puts together a decent display. You’ll enjoy it.” 

While everyone had slipped into the back yard, Fakir lead Ahiru to the front. 

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I should have grabbed my coat.”

He took off his jacket. She chose to lean against his chest, trying to share her warmth with him. 

“Ten…” He whispered and a single firework went off. Igniting the sky. 

“Nine…” Two more brust up. Bright red and green. 

“Eight…Seven..” a few more were set loose into the sky. Champagne in color and they crackled, looking much more like magic than they ought.

“Six… Five…” Three, blue and blinding white.

“Four…” One whistled into the sky, bursting into more and more. 

“Three.” Fakir came to stand in front of her. 

“Two.” His hand tilting her chin up; her heart pounded. 

“One.” The sky burst into a symphony of sound and noise. 

He leaned down, her eyes closed, inches away from her lips he paused, and whispered. “Ahiru, may I kiss you?” 

Ahiru shook, not from the cold but fear. “I can’t let you.”

“I know-” He swallowed harshly. “That once we go back, you’ll just be a duck, we won’t be able to talk, I’ll never be able to hold your hand again. But that doesn’t matter to me.” 

She blinked back tears. “It matters to me.” 

Fakir’s hands moved to caress her face. “Didn’t I make a promise? To stay by your side-”

“Break it.” 

“I can’t.”

“Break it and go and meet the person you’re meant to fall in love with, don’t let me hold you back.”

He sighed, his breath warm against her lips. “ _ You’re _ the person I’m meant to fall in love with. I love you.” 

Her hands stretched up to touch his cheeks, holding his face in her grasp. “You can’t.” 

“I love you anyway.” He touched his forehead to hers. “As far as I’m concerned, I’ve already fallen in love with you twice. Let me kiss you.” 

“If you kiss me I’ll never want to go back. If you kiss me I’ll never let the story finish. I’ll never be my true self again.” 

“I’ll still love you.”

She laughed. “I know.” She buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, his arms encased her waist, nearly lifting her off the floor, and he pressed his cold lips to her neck, mouthing something to her. 

_ “I promise to stay by your side for forever.” _


	11. January

She was in the library again, a sort of last ditch effort. Although it had taken her nearly a year, she was almost finished with all the shelves on the second story. 

She was beginning to lose hope, and her doubts surrounded her. 

She found one book, however, that was once on the opposite side of the balcony, the book of Russian Fairy tales. Ahiru opened it, and as if by fate, the pages fluttered to the tale of “The White Duck”. 

A prince and a princess thrive lovely, and a witch, in love with the prince and jealous of the princess. Cool off in the water, the witch said, and the princess did, removing her clothes, she stepped into the water, but as she did she was transformed into a white duck. 

She had three children, two sons and a daughter, stuck as ducklings, never knowing who they were, who their mother once was. 

The witch stole the princess’ clothes, stole her face, and went to the kingdom, pretending to be the princess. 

The witch lived with the prince, and the princess lived as a duck. 

One day, the three ducklings went into the courtyard of the castle, and was found by the witch, who put them in cages, and they cried, begging for their mother. 

The princess, worried for her children, looked for them, and when she found them, she cried bitterly and sung them their lullaby, flying above them. 

The witch recognized the white duck, and ordered the knights to shoo her away, but the prince, as he listened to the white duck’s lament, told the knights to capture the duck instead. 

The knights proved useless, unable to even brush their fingers against her feathers, the prince came to stand on the balcony and she landed in his hands. With his touch, she turned back into his wife. With living water, she sprinkled the droplets over her children, and the prince found himself surrounded by his family, and with his word, the witch was put to death. Tied to the tail of a horse, she was dragged over the countryside until there was no trace of her left behind.

She closed the book, she found tears tracking down her eyes, she found herself jealous of the outcome of the princess and her children, they broke free from their curse, while she never could. 

She sat down, the book in her lap and hugged her knees to her chest, wanting more than ever to stay here, in this place, were she was human, where she could talk to Fakir, where she saw Rue and Mytho everyday. 

She would never find the Prince and the Raven, anyway. 

Ahiru shook her head. “No, I can’t give up now, even if it takes another year, I’ll find the book.” 

She rifled through the books, checking their names, their titles, their dates, shuffling down from the top shelf, to the bottom, to the last book left unchecked. 

Ahiru blushed, and dropped the book; it was the book Rue gave her,  _ Seized by Love. _

She sighed, picked up the book and put it back, she still had all of the bottom floor to search, she’d find it, it wouldn’t stop- 

Ahiru tried to put the book back, but it was hitting something else, making it impossible to go all the way in. 

She knelt down, looking back to see that yes, something was blocking the way, when she took out the book, another book had fallen, but in an odd way, in a way she couldn’t just pull it out through the open slot. She had to pull the other books down as well. 

She had a better view of it now, it seemed to be lodged between the wall and the shelf, but she was able to pull it out. 

It was an old book, covered in dust, it had no words on the outside, no titles, no names, no pictures, it was made with leather, soft now, the spine and corners cracked, it wouldn’t stay flat. 

Ahiru opened it up and was surprised that she recognized the smeared handwriting. 

The cursive had a hard slant, the letters thin and hard to read, the paper had yellowed, and some letters she couldn’t even recognize, but she didn’t have to guess what those letters were, the story was already so well ingrained in her mind. 

The story of  _ The Prince and the Raven _ . 

Only, this wasn’t a printed copy, but a manuscript, the manuscript. 

She felt her shoulders shaking, she had found it, she had proof that Drosselmeyer was real, that he had written this story, and her, and all that had happened to her. 

She hugged it to her chest, though that caused a billow of dust to surround her. 

“Find what you were looking for?”

Ahiru jumped, she turned around and saw the old man from behind the desk.

“Yes.”

He nodded. “About time, let me see.”

Reluctantly, she held out the manuscript and gave it to him. 

He raised a brow, “Where did you find this?”

Ahiru pointed at the bottom shelf and the books ripped from their place. “It was behind the books.”   

“I have never seen this book in my life.” He handed it back to her. “Dispose of it, I don’t want to see it in my bookshop ever again.” 

She took the book back, “I want to buy it-”

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want to look at it, get it out.”

She nodded, and started putting the books back.

“Stop. Stop! You’re putting them all back in the wrong order!” He knelt down, pushing her out of the aisle and put the books back.

Ahiru picked up the book, bowed her head in quiet thanks, and left, holding her long sought after prize close to her heart. 

 

She raced up the steps of her apartment, opening the door and rushing inside. 

“Mytho!” She called. “I’m back! Did you make lunch?”

“Shh!” Mytho came out of the kitchen.

There was the sound of a motorcycle outside. 

“We’re too late, go wait in your room and don’t make a sound.” Mytho pushed her away.

“Why- What’s going on? Is Fakir here?” 

“Yes, and if you’re quiet, you can listen in on what he has to say.” Mytho smirked. 

“Eavesdropping? I don’t want to do that!” 

“Then I can tell you later.” He shut the door. 

She sighed, tossing the book onto her bed, there was no way she was going to listen in on what was obviously Fakir and Mytho’s private conversation. 

She heard a knock at the door. It opened, she heard the muffled voices of Mytho and Fakir.

Oh, goodness what were they saying? 

Ahiru stood and walked hesitantly to the door. 

She pressed her ear against it, and listened. 

They had already moved passed pleasantries, and they were shouting, perhaps Mytho had told Fakir to take a seat on the couch before retreating to the kitchen. 

“- A lovely tomato and basil soup, and grilled cheese, I find that it’s the perfect light lunch to have on a cold winter’s day.” Mytho said. “So, you said you wanted to come and talk with me.”

“Yes.” Fakir cleared his throat. “Ahiru isn’t here, right?” 

“No, she’s not. She’s at the bookstore.” 

“Are you sure? Her bike’s downstairs.”

She liked to imagine Mytho nodded his head, bringing out a platter of soup and sandwich, although she couldn’t be sure. “She walked.”

“Thank you.”

“So then, I was right when I assumed this would be about my baby sister?” Mytho asked, stressing the words baby and sister, as if Fakir had forgotten. 

“Yes. I know that you’re important to her, she thinks we can be friends.”

“Would you like to be friends?”

“I would, but that is more a question towards you.”

“My Fakir, what do you mean?”

“I admire your brotherly love and protection.”

“Thank you.”

“But, Ahiru thinks you dislike me.”

There was a pause, and she thought they stopped to eat, something other than the horrible, awkward silence she imagined. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them, they were best friends, had she come between them? 

“I don’t dislike you, Fakir, but I know what men are like. In the city, there were girls and other women I knew, either from college or a part of my classes, that had to deal with aggressive, possessive men. I did my best to protect them, but as a result, I became wary of most of the men I came in contact with. It’s worse with my sister.”

“I understand, but I’m not here to hurt her or own her.”

“I see that now, most look for easy prey, they don’t stay for months at a time.” Another pause. “Fakir, may I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“There wasn’t a day I didn’t think of Ahiru. In Berlin, in college, in the classes I taught, I saw her everywhere, and I missed her. She was in a coma for ten years, and I had- I had given up on her. I acted as if she were dead rather than asleep, for a year after I moved away I mourned her, did you know how she was put in a coma?”

“No. I was never told.”

“Mom blames herself.” Mytho said. “But, there was a man. Mom and Ahiru had gone grocery shopping and were on their way back. Mom was pulling out, and a car crashed into them, mom was okay, but the car hit Ahiru’s side, and she hit her head. Hard. I wasn’t there, but it was in the news, the photo of the man. I knew who it was.” 

He paused and there was silence, a door opened, the one to Mytho’s room, but he wasn't there long. 

“A newspaper clipping from the event.” Mytho said. “They had a picture of the man.”

“You knew him, didn’t you?” 

“He’s a bad man. He was a neighbor, he babysat us as kids, and paid me to mow his lawn, but Ahiru was thirteen when this happened, just starting to hit puberty, and he started to notice, too.” 

“What happened to him?” There was a coldness in Fakir’s voice that wasn’t there before. 

“Dead, the crash killed him as much as it put Ahiru in a coma. But, I knew he had done it on purpose. Every morning, she and I would bike to school, and he would watch us, he would call out to her, and she ignored him. After a while, I suppose he was tired of being ignored.” 

“So, when your friends or students came to you, claiming a man was being more forward than he should-”

“It was a stab to the heart.” 

“Mytho. Would you like to know the intentions I have for your sister?”

“Please, tell me.”

Ahiru peeled herself away from the door. 

She had never been told how she was put in a coma. Never, not by Elora or Grandpa, not even by Mytho, she supposed he told her now, he knew she was listening. 

She sat on her bed and Fakir left, because now Mytho sat by her. 

“How much did you hear?”

“All of it. Until Fakir told you his intentions. I didn’t want to hear that.” 

She looked down at her hands, she didn’t remember anything from this place, before she woke up, she had been a duck, she had been in Goldcrown. She had no recollection of any men calling to her, not even here, or now, did men call out to her, and she wondered if she would ever have to put up with it.  

No, she found the book, soon she would go back. 

“Do you remember him?”

“Fakir or-”

“Our neighbor.”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t. I don’t.”

“That’s good, at least.” Mytho leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I remember when it first started, you didn’t understand what he meant, but it made you uncomfortable. Once you knew, after I told you, you never responded, you kept your eyes on the ground, you asked me to ride on the inside of the sidewalk when we rode past, and I would do my best to block you.” 

“Thank you.”

He smiled. “That’s what big brother’s are for.”

“So, Fakir?”

“He won’t hurt you, I don’t think he could.”

“Why not?”

Mytho smiled at her. “He’s not the kind to hurt the thing he loves.” He stood, patting her shoulder. “Do you want lunch?”

Ahiru nodded. “Yes, please.”

 

Ahiru sat on the railing at Mallard’s Perch, she had the leather bound manuscript in her lap, scouring through the smudged words, taking notes if she saw any changes, anything different. 

At the end, it just stopped, midword. 

Little was changed, mostly grammar, little mistakes, easily missed when writing by hand. 

But, she was given the tiniest hint. In the last few pages, after it had all been written, was a small passage written in someone else's handwriting, cruel and uneven compared to Drosselmeyer’s steady hand.

He had given himself the power to write even after death, in order to continue the story, but he said this: With what life I have left, my puppets will make a machine that will allow me to continue writing stories after my death. I, H. H. Drosselmeyer will be able to control the realities of the Kingdom’s, of Earth, and of my own City. 

There was the sound of a motorcycle, and she knew Fakir was coming, and he would be able to help. 

She smiled and stood, waving to him, as he stopped his motorcycle. He pulled his helmet off, running his hands through his hair, and shaking it out. He gave her a slight smile, before coming to lean against the railing. 

“Hey.” 

“Oh- h-hey! How’d you find me?” 

He shrugged. “I asked Mytho, he said you wanted to get away for awhile, I figured you’d be here. You’re stealing my quiet place.” He teased her.

He planted one hand on the railing and swung his legs over in one seamless motion. He made it look like the easiest thing in the world, but Ahiru knew if she tried it, her legs would just hit the railing. 

“Can you help me?”

“Of course. With what?”

She handed him Drosselmeyer’s manuscript. 

“What is this?”

She smiled. “It’s the manuscript for The Prince and the Raven _.  _ I found it!” 

He looked down at the book, flipping it over in his hands. “So, you were right.” He smiled at her. “You never should have doubted yourself.” 

She ducked her eyes.

“So, what do you need help with?”

“Well. It’s this part that’s confusing me.” She took the book and opened it to it’s final pages. “When Drosselmeyer died-”

“He wrote that he’d be able to write after death, I know.” 

“But, I never read what he wrote. Look.”

Fakir read it. He leaned against the railing, and she followed his lead, pressing her palms into the railing, she leaned towards the book to reread it herself.

“What don’t you understand?”

“The last part.  _ Of the Kingdoms, of Earth, and of my own City.  _ Why state it like that?”

“Repetition can be-”

“But it’s not repetition!” She pointed at the words, moving closer to the book. “Look. The Kingdoms, the Earth, and the City are all capitalized, like they’re proper names.”

“So, you’re saying that these are places? Rather than representing each other?”

“Yes!” She looked up at him, and she realized how close she had gotten to him, her thigh touched his, her shoulder pressed against his chest, even his arm had wrapped around her. “Um.”

“If that’s the case, what’s the difference between them?”

She nodded. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

The sun had started to set, painting the sky in hues of pinks and oranges, brightening the colors of his cheeks and lips. 

Fakir closed the book, balancing it on the railing behind him.

“I talked with your brother a week ago.” He said.

“Did you?”

“I wanted to make my intentions clear.” 

There was that word again. “Your intentions?”

“Yes.”

“About what?”

“My intentions in regards with you.” 

She averted her eyes, trailing down to look at his chest, his legs, she moved her finger, running it over the outside of his jeans. She grew bolder, brushing multiple fingers against his thigh.

“Ahiru.” He said her name softly, delicately. 

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes. “Yes?”

“What do you think my intentions are?”

“I don’t know. You’re my friend.”

His eyes moved down her face, he lifted his hand, stroking her jaw. “I’d like to be something more, if you don’t mind.” 

“More than my friend?”

He nodded. 

She wanted to protest, to pull away and not let herself give in to pleasure, but the simple feeling of his flesh against hers, the feeling of being touched… 

She closed her eyes. 

“I can’t.” She said, so quietly she wasn’t sure he heard her. 

He rested his forehead against hers. “You watched Mytho and Rue be happy, together, for years, you were left to be a duck, don’t you deserve this?”

“It was hard enough the first time.” She said. “To go back to my true self, to give everyone up. To give you up.”

“You didn’t love me then.”

“And I do now?”

“I don’t know, do you?” He smirked at her, but it faded. 

In the beginning, she loved the Prince, and in the end she had given him up so he could be happy, so Rue could be happy, she loved them all, Fakir included, but now, now he was talking about a different kind of love. 

The kind of love Rue and Mytho shared.

The kind of love Ahiru once carried for Mytho. 

And, he was right, she did love him, and she knew she could tell him, that she wouldn’t turn into a speck of light, but once she did, she’d never want to go back to being a duck, she’d never be happy, or satisfied, not when she knew love had been stolen from her. 

That he had been stolen from her.

She admitted it to herself, to Rue as well, but if she admitted her feelings to Fakir, what would he do? 

She couldn’t. She couldn’t tell him.

Even now, as he touched her, begging her to kiss him while saying nothing. 

Even then, when they were children, and he promised to stay by her side forever. 

“No matter what I say, in the end neither of us will be happy.”

“What?”

“I’ll go back to being a duck, I’ll never be able to talk to you again.”

“Then, talk to me now. Don’t waste this time.”

“I don’t want to, Fakir. I don’t want to drown again.” 

“I won’t let you, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” 

She shook, whether from the cold, or from fear, or pain she did not know, but she shook. “You’ve always had me, I’ve never thought otherwise.”

“If you don’t want to go back to being a duck, you don’t have to.”

“But, we have to make everything right. We have to set everything back to the way it was, and that means I have to go back.”

“Ahiru, I’ve been harboring this pain in my chest. Tell me.”

She wanted to, she wanted so badly. 

“No, I-”

There was a blinding light and she pulled back.

“Ahiru!” 

“Rue?” Ahiru stood, the car stopped and Rue jumped out the passenger’s side. “Rue, what is it?” 

Rue jogged up to the railing, panting slightly. “You have to come with me.” She pulled at her arm. 

“What? Why?”

“It’s your grandpa, he’s in the hospital.” 

Ahiru felt a pang in her heart, while she didn’t care for Elora, Grandpa had always been on her side. 

Fakir was by her side in a second. “Do you want me to come?” 

“Take my book home for me.” She said, suffectintly denying him. 

He seemed taken back, but he nodded and scooped up the book that had been dropped to the floor, and Ahiru followed Rue into the car. 

Mytho sat in the driver’s seat and they didn’t wait for Fakir to get on his motorcycle, pulling away as soon as both Rue and Ahiru had buckled up. 

Ahiru turned around, looking out the back window at Fakir, he stood there, watching them drive off the mountain. She didn’t sit right in her seat until she couldn’t see him any longer. 

 

Grandpa had a stroke, he would be fine, but it was suggested that he stay in a nursing home where he could be watched since Elora had to go to work. 

“Humph, I bet she begged them to put me there.” He told Ahiru when they were alone. “Finally has a good reason to get me out of the house.” 

Ahiru smiled, “What nursing home are you going to?”

“How should I know? They don’t tell me anything. How about you come with me, huh? I could use some company on the ride over.”

“When do you go?”

“Ah, just an hour or so, enough time for Elora to get my things “packed”. I’m sure she’s having a ball.” He shook his head. “Bah. Hey kid, I’m hungry, why don’t you go to the cafeteria and sneak me something with more substance.” 

Ahiru smiled and nodded, he handed her a dollar.

She put it in her pocket, and made a slight detour. 

She stood on her old floor, threading through the nurses, and patients, and family members, to the room she knew Rue would be at. 

Ahiru stood in the doorway and watched as Rue slipped her engagement ring off her finger, she placed it on the nightstand next to him. Ahiru watched as Rue brushed his bangs out of his eyes, she kissed his forehead as a final goodbye. 

Rue looked up at Ahiru and offered her a sad smile. 

In the hallway, she shrugged. “When he wakes up, I’ll give him a real break up, but for now, I want to be happy.” 

“You should be happy.” Ahiru smiled. 

Together, they walked to the cafeteria, where they found Mytho talking with some children, he was playing a game, and losing horribly. 

Rue’s countenance softened tremendously as she watched him. 

Ahiru couldn’t help but wonder if Dawid and Aria missed their mother and father, if they would even remember them at the end of this, both being so young.

She brought up a snack for grandpa, and soon the nurses came in to strap him into an ambulance to take him to a nursing home. 

 

“Well, here you are. Are you okay?” Ahiru asked Grandpa. 

He huffed. “As I’ll ever be. This place smells like old people.”

Ahiru laughed, “It’s a nursing home, of course it does.” 

She stayed the rest of the afternoon, walking around the home with him, meeting some of the nurses that already had to deal with him, his neighbors, the person he shared a room with, separated by only a curtain. 

It was rather horrible, and as kind as the nurses were, as much as they tried to decorate it to the likings of the people that lived there, Ahiru couldn’t help but see the horror underneath. 

“Will you ever go home?”

“I’ll probably die here, but that’s alright. I’m alright with that.” 

Ahiru’s lip twitched into a frown. 

“Why don’t you go home? It’s getting late, and you’re hungry.” 

“I’m not hun-” Her stomach gurgled and she patted her gut. 

“Grandpa super powers.” He laughed. 

She smiled and kissed his temple. “When can I come and visit you?”

“Don’t come back here, Ahiru.” Grandpa said, he let down his smile, his face growing heavy. “This isn’t a happy place, it’s a place they send old people to die. I don’t want you to look at me in pity, I want you to remember me as the bitter, old man yelling at his own TV on his own couch.” 

She nodded. “I won’t forget, I promise.” 

“Good girl.” He laid back, closing his eyes, his hands resting folded on his lap.

He didn’t move, and she didn’t see his chest moving up and down. 

“Grandpa?”

“What?” He cracked open one eye.

She smiled. “Nothing.” 

“Eh. Get outta ‘ere.” 

“Yes, Grandpa.” 

Ahiru closed the door behind her, moving down the hallway past the main room where the old people played board games and watched golf, she only took a glance, but someone caught her eye.

Someone she recognized. 

There was an old man in a rocking chair, swaying gently, a book in his hand. 

Her heart pounded, it was Drosselmeyer, alive and breathing. 

Reading. 

He looked at her, and he laughed, she ran out of the nursing home without signing out. 

So, this was it, wasn’t it? She found the book, she found Drosselmeyer, and he would tell her how to set everything back. 

She stepped out onto the sidewalk, the streetlamps coming on, she could hear several caws above her, but the ravens didn’t bother her. 

 

She took a deep breath, today would be her last day in this place, and tomorrow, she’d be a duck. 

There was still one last thing she wanted to do, whether she would regret it or not, whether it made everything harder.

She wanted to say goodbye, she hadn’t been allowed to say good-bye to everyone the last time, but she was ready for the end, for remaining a duck, to going back to being her true self. 

She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was down, she wore one of her favorite sweaters, she held the book in her hands, in her mind she had a list of everything she needed to do. 

She marched down the stairs, entering the antique shop and finding Charon. 

“Ahiru, what is it? Do you need something?”

“I wanted to say good-bye.”

He chuckled, “What for? Are you going somewhere?”

“No, not really, but I may not see you for the next few days. Don’t worry about me, ‘kay?”

“I won’t. Goodbye, Ahiru.”

She found Pique and Lillie together, she hugged them tightly, something she didn’t get to do the last time. 

“Goodbye, I love you.”

“Love you, too, I guess.”

“Aw, our precious Ahiru! We love you!”

She found Mytho and Rue, both at the studio. 

She hugged Mytho and buried her face into his chest, and he hugged her just as tightly. 

“Goodbye.” said she. 

He laughed. “Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere important.”

She kissed Rue’s cheek, the way Rue had for her. “I love you, Rue. You’re my best friend.”

“Oh! Ahiru, please!” But Rue cleared her throat and gently laid her arms around Ahiru. “You’re my best friend as well.” 

She walked to the hospital, finding Edel and giving her a hug. 

“Good-bye Miss. Edel. Thank you.”

“Good-bye, Ahiru.” When she pulled back, she pet Ahiru’s cheek.

Ahiru didn’t let her tears fall, she walked to the room Autor was in last, not going in just yet, but she just wanted to check. She’d come back for him. 

Then, she walked to Fakir’s house, knowing he’d be home, but it took all of her courage not to turn back, to go back home, to burrow under the covers and hide, to stay here were she had all of her friends, where she was a woman and not a duck. 

But, when she got to his door, she knocked three times, and waited for him to answer. 

He opened, and tilted his head. “Ahiru? What are you doing here?”

“Fakir, tomorrow everything will go back to the way it was, Mytho will be a Prince, Rue a Princess, you’ll be a writer, and I’ll be a duck. The way everything was meant to be, but before that, before everything goes back to the way it was, I wanted to tell you-” She took a deep breath. “Before, I was just a duck, I didn’t know what love was, I didn’t know it fully, I loved Mytho, but that was never any stronger than a mere crush. When I was a girl, I didn’t love you, and as a duck love didn’t matter to me, but now, after being with you for months.” She smiled at him. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Fakir, and before I go back to being a duck, before I trade my lips for a bill and won’t be able to talk to you, you need to know.

“My heart is yours, my soul, mind and body belong to you, and they always have been. With everything I have, with everything I am, I love you, and I promise to stay by your side, no matter what I am, forever.” 

And, then, she did perhaps the bravest thing she had ever done. 

She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her fingers around his neck to pull him down to place a kiss on his lips.

Fakir wrapped his arms around her waist, tilting his head to kiss her better, but she could only think of how wonderful it felt to be pressed against him fully. 

Her chest against his. 

Her hands tangling in his hair; his hands splayed against her back. 

His lips so soft and sweet against her own, but strong, as they moved against hers. 

When she pulled away, she bumped her forehead against his.

“Goodbye, Fakir.” 

She turned away and ran, unable to look him in the eye after her proclamation of love. 

However, she missed the way he shook his head in uncertainty, the way he groped at his door to try to balance himself, how he touched his head as if it ached. 

She missed the way he collapsed to the ground, the way he groaned and moaned and called out her name.

She missed the way he closed his eyes, unable to stay conscious.

She missed the way he sat up, the way he looked for her with a light in his eyes. 

She missed what had happened to him, caused by her kiss, she missed the reaction true love’s kiss had produced in him, the door it unlocked, the memories it had released. 

With her sweet kiss, he remembered who he was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Read the White Duck, a Russian Fairy-Tale.


	12. February

It would be night time soon, the sunlight had faded, but the streetlights hadn’t turned on just yet.

But, she could see, and that’s all that mattered as she made her way to the hospital, to the fourth floor. 

As she rode her bike, she didn’t notice the murders surrounding her, their cawing soft, the flapping of their wings hidden by the wind and the sounds of the modern world. 

She parked her bike just outside the hospital and fixed the bag she had rested on her shoulder, inside was her book, the book that would take her home. 

She marched to the desk where she had to sign in as a visitor, but no one was there, in fact no one was in the lobby, and it was quiet. 

She didn’t pay it any mind. 

Ahiru went to the staircase, steering clear of the elevator, and climbed up until she reached the fourth floor. 

When she opened the door, it was much different than the lobby. 

All the nurses and doctors were busy pulling as many patients into the elevator as possible, they were yelling across the hallways, running everywhere, papers flying out of any clipboards they clung onto. 

Ahiru kept her head low, hoping no one would notice her, pushing past the frantic and catching herself before she ran into the sick. 

“Ahiru?” 

She flinched, but turned as her name was called. “Miss Edel?”

Edel carried an expression of concern as she made her way through the hallway, she placed her hand on Ahiru’s shoulder, “What are you doing here? Didn’t you hear?”

“Hear what?” 

“We have to evacuate.”

Ahiru shook her head. “No we don’t? What’s going on?” 

“I’m not sure, but the sky-” Edel turned her head to look out a far off window. “It’s like a large black cloud has covered the city.”

Ahiru looked out the window, the sky was black, streaks of lightning broke out across the sky. 

“Ahiru, stay with me, you’ll be safe and surrounded by thousands of nurses.” Edel said, pleadingly. 

Ahiru was starting to panic, was this her fault? After she found the book… but that had been weeks ago. Or, was it after she confessed her feelings? Opening herself bare, and giving her heart to Fakir? 

She didn’t have as much time as she thought. 

Ahiru sprinted off towards his room.

“Ahiru! Wait! Stop!” Edel called. 

“Dr. Nivale! We need you!” 

Ahiru sighed in relief when she found that Autor hadn’t been reached. She closed the door behind her and locked it. She pulled up a chair beside him. 

Rue’s engagement ring was still on the nightstand, next to his glasses.    

“Autor?” She said. “Can you wake up now?”

There was nothing but the steady beating of the heart monitor.

She pulled her bag off her shoulder and pulled out her book. “You would have loved this. The manuscript for The Prince and the Raven _. _ Handwritten by Drosselmeyer himself.”

She could hear the heavy feet of the runners outside the door, the shouting got louder, they’d be at this door soon. 

She touched his wrist. “They’ll be here soon, and they’ll take you away, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.” 

“Is there anyone inside this room?” A voice from the outside. 

“A coma patient, we’re saving them for last, they’ll need the most space in the elevator.”

Her attention had been pulled to the door, and she waited until she was sure they were gone.

“You’re a girl again, I suppose the bastard was right.” 

Ahiru jumped, startled. “Autor!”

He sat up, his glasses on his face. “So, where are we? The Kingdom, Earth, or the City?”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“Did Fakir not explain it to you?”

She shook her head. “No one remembers except me. And now you!”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone has false memories of living here, growing up here and living here their whole lives, but where is here?” She leaned forward, for months she had wondered, wondered what had happened, why she was the only one who remembered, why everyone else played along with this story in a way she didn’t. 

He looked around the room. “Well, based on the technology, I’m guessing we’re on Earth.” He groaned, rubbing his neck. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Um- A year.”

“Ahiru! And you didn’t think once about seeing me?”

She flinched. “No! I don’t know you here! It would just be weird.” 

He fell back. “Fine. That’s fair.”

“But, Autor, what’s the Kingdom, the earth-”

“The earth and the City.” He nodded. “It’s a lot to explain, and gave me a bit of a headache the first time I thought about it for too long.”

“I’ve been here for a year trying not to let anyone know that I’m a duck.”

He nodded. “Drosselmeyer figured out that we are not alone.”

She tilted her head. “You mean, you and me?”

“No, it means- do you know what parallel universes are?” 

She gave him a blank expression. 

“Right. A parallel universe is like our universe, but seperated from us, branching off and no longer apart of us.”

“Like a tree?”

“Sort of. It just means that there’s a universe we live in, and a second universe that’s like ours, but isn’t.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“Do you understand.”

“No.”

He groaned and fell back on his bed. “Where’s Fakir when you need him? He was always able to dumb things down for you.” 

“Hey! Maybe that’s because you’re not explaining things well!” She jabbed a finger at him. 

“I explain things very well, it’s not my fault you can’t comprehend higher knowledge.” 

“At least I’m trying! You’re not doing anything to help me!” 

“I am trying, it’s you who’s not-”

Autor was cut off by the door slamming open. 

Fakir stood in the doorway, dropping a key to the floor. “Ahiru.” 

She stood. “Fakir.”

He ran towards her and wrapped his arms around her, placing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I left you alone for all those months.”

“What? Fakir, no you didn’t.”

“No, no you were trying to find the way home and I left you alone.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” Autor said. “You can explain the Kingdom, the Earth, and the City to her.”

“No he can’t.” Ahiru shook her head. “He’s-”

“It’s not an easy thing to explain.”

Ahiru whipped her head around to face him. “Fakir?”

He brought a hand up to cup her cheek. “I remember. You woke me up. I’m here now, Ahiru.”

Autor rolled his eyes. “I tried to explain it to her, but she’s still an imbecile.” 

“Shut up, Autor or I’ll put you back in that coma.” 

Autor looked insulted but kept his mouth shut. 

“Ahiru, where do you think Mytho came from?”

“The story?” Ahiru scrunched up her eyebrows. “Drosselmeyer’s writing, right?”

“Yes, but what power did he have?”

“Well, he could control reality.”

Fakir nodded. “Yes, good. So, what’s the point of writing your own characters if you have that power?”

“No point.”

“When Drosselmeyer first started writing, he would use the people in his City, but after a while, people started to realize that a lot of what was happening was more than just the sins of many, but the sins of one man. So, they formed together-”

“The Bookmen.”

“Yes, the Bookmen were founded when they saw that all that had happened - the tragedy, murders, kidnappings -  were caused by Drosselmeyer, and they were able to stop him. But, Drosselmeyer found that there was a second world, much like our own, that he could reach into, that he could touch without consequences.”

“Two worlds.”

“Yes. A world like ours, I know that here, we know about planets, we’ve been to the moon, but it’s not just another planet, and it’s not one we can visit. It’s like a second earth.”

She nodded. “Okay, so that’s where Mytho is from?”

“Drosselmeyer called it the Kingdoms.”

“So, what’s the City?”

Fakir took a deep breath. “That’s Goldcrown. The City Drosselmeyer lived in, he was able to create a tear between Earth and the Kingdoms, a way to visit the Kingdoms without completely tearing both worlds apart. The City is trapped, on Earth, but connected to the Kingdoms, that’s why it wasn’t on any map, here it doesn’t exist, or at least it stopped existing when Drosselmeyer made the tear.”

“So, Mytho is from the Kingdoms, and Drosselmeyer was able to control the people in the Kingdoms, and brought Mytho over to the City. And, right now, we’re on the Earth.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Ahiru sat back down. Autor was right, it was a lot to take in. 

“Do you understand?”

“I think so.” She nodded slowly, touching a hand to her head. There was a dull throbbing.

“There’s one more thing.” Fakir squatted down next to her and pulled out of his pocket a few pieces of folded paper. “When we defeated the Raven, and when we went to destroy the machine, Drosselmeyer had enough time to write one final story.” 

He handed her the paper and she unfolded it. 

_ And thus marks the end of my great tragedy, the Prince and Princess have defeated the Monstrous Raven with the aid of my wretched Grandson, but there is one last victory I can claim.  _

_ With this pen, and with the knowledge that my Grandson will never leave the City, my precious little pretend Princess Tutu will remain cursed, remain a duck, so long as she never returns to the Kingdoms.  _

She stopped. There was more, a lot more, but she couldn’t read the details of her curse, not when the past ten years of her life had been stolen from her, not when she had been conditioned to think she was nothing but a dumb animal, just a bird. 

She was shaking, she reached out her hand, and it was encased in Fakir’s, he kissed her hand. 

“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.” He said. 

“No, no it’s not-”

“It’s my fault we’re here. I tried to write you a story, I tried to get you home, but I brought us all here instead.” 

She closed her eyes, she was a girl, she was never a duck. She was a girl. 

“So then, what do we do now?” She opened her eyes, traveling first to Fakir, and then Autor.

“Now, we have to fight.” Fakir stood, pulling out his sword, strapped to his belt. “Because of your presence here on Earth, the tear has ripped, and something has crawled out of the Kingdoms to find you.”

“What something?”

Fakir looked at the closed shutters. 

Ahiru made her way across the room and opened the windows, only to be met by darkness, in the sky, a monster flew, a giant harpy, brown dirty feathers, and the face of a haggard woman, flapping it’s great, terrible wings, hordes or crows and ravens followed it’s trail around the city. It was looking for her. 

“Fakir, I don’t want you to have to fight for me.”

She heard him sheath his sword. “I won’t, but I have to protect you, we have to get back to my house, I need a pen and ink.”

“You think you’ll be able to fix this?” Autor asked. “You’re the one that put us in this mess!” 

“And I’ll get us out of it.” Fakir stalked towards Autor. “She’s not supposed to be here, I’ll put her back where she belongs.” 

“That’s what you tried to do! And it didn’t work.”

“It worked too well! The story took her away before I could write where to put her!” 

Ahiru looked out the window, who belonged here, and who didn’t? She and Mytho came from the Kingdom, but Rue? Fakir? 

Where did they belong? Where did they fit? 

“Autor, they’re going to come for you, and you should go with them.” Ahiru said. “Make sure the people who are evacuating are safe.” She turned from the window and faced them. “Will Mytho and Rue remember?”

“I don’t know.” 

“We have to fix this before anything happens to them, then.” Ahiru picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “We have to get to Drosselmeyer.”

“Drosselmeyer?” They both said, although one was much more excited than the other. 

“He’s here?”

Ahiru nodded. “He’s in the nursing home with my grandpa.”

Fakir walked towards her and grabbed her hand. “Once we do this, we’re finally be free of Drosselmeyer.” 

They left Autor and ran out of the hospital. 

However, outside was not safe from the attacks of the ravens. Fakir pulled his sword out and did his best to fight off the ravens, but having put down his sword ten years prior made him rusty. 

He was slower, and the ravens attacking were able to break past his guard. 

Ahiru wasn’t sure what she could do to help, but tugged on his hand and pulled him out of the fight, if they could just keep ahead of the ravens, then- 

Fakir put away his sword and sat on his motorcycle, she sat behind him, but when he went to start it, he groaned low and touched his head. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry. I have too much information in my head.” He started the motorcycle. “I’m sorry, in my rush I didn’t grab our helmets.”

“It’s fine, just go!” Ahiru looked back as the ravens circled around them, dive bombing them and where the stood. But Fakir was quicker, and took off out of the parking lot, the raven’s stopped in their attack. 

She held on tightly to him. “What do you mean you have too much information?” 

“I have both memories, the real ones, and the ones fabricated for here. Sometimes the fabricated memories are too strong and try to overpower the real ones.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” 

“Be sorry later, tell me where to go.” 

“Go right-” 

There was a loud cawing laugh overhead, Ahriu looked behind her and saw that it wasn’t the ravens that followed them longer, but the harpy flying in the sky. 

It looked familiar to her, but she had never seen a harpy outside of story books, the paintings and drawings inside of Fakir’s books. But this was a frightening monster.

“Fakir! Go faster!” 

She pressed herself against him, holding tighter. “It’s on Mulberry Avenue!” 

He made a sharp right. “I know that one- ack! My grand- A. A. Drosselmeyer lived there.” 

“Ahiru. I’m coming for you.” 

Ahiru turned to look around them, the voice having come from the harpy, it’s voice was almost sweet.

“You and your knight cannot outrun me!” She cried. 

“Almost there.” Fakir promised.

“You think that once you’re home, I won’t be waiting there? I have been waiting to eat you since the day your mother was cursed, since the day she had you and your brothers!” 

“Don’t listen to her. We’re almost there.”

“You will see, you cannot escape me!” 

Ahiru closed her eyes tight, her hair whipped around, and Fakir’s back was warm. If she closed her eyes, maybe it would all go away. She would just be a duck, swimming on the lake, and everything would be okay. Her eyes snapped open. No. 

No, she didn’t want to just be okay. She wanted to be happy, she deserved to be happy. 

She pulled back, and turned to glare at the monster. 

“Hold on to me, I’m not stopping.” Fakir said.

“What?” Ahiru looked past his shoulder, and saw that they had arrived, the nursing home was there at the end of the street, when it hit her. Fakir wasn’t going to stop. He was going to drive into the building. “Wait! Fakir, don’t!” 

She barely had time to scream before he revved the engine and took off, going faster, and rammed into the door.   

But, they were fine. 

Ahiru looked around her, there was no debris, no broken doors or walls or windows, in fact, the doors were neatly shut behind them, the walls were intact, and the windows left unshattered. She got off the bike and went to the window. 

Outside, the sun shined, and it was spring. 

“What-” She looked back at Fakir. “What happened?” 

He got off the motorcycle, shaken by the fact that he wasn’t badly injured, and looked around. “I don’t know.” 

“Herr. Fakir, Frau. Ahiru.” the lady at the desk said. 

They both jumped. 

It was a puppet, wooden, not even painted to look human. “Herr Drosselmeyer is waiting for you.”

They shared a glance, but followed the doll. 

It was different than the world of utter blackness, of flying cogs, and the ticking of clocks, but Ahiru thought that this was where Drosselemyer sat and watched her story unfold.

The puppet lead them to where Ahiru had first seen Drosselmeyer, sitting in the wooden rocking chair. Beside him stood Uzura and Edel. 

“Miss. Edel! What are you doing here?” 

She smiled. “I am afraid I am just a puppet. Sent here to help you on your journey.”

“But-” Ahiru pouted. “You’re not the real Miss. Edel, are you?”

Edel smiled. “No, I am not your Miss. Edel, but the wood of the Oak Tree gave us more than just one puppet.” She flourished her hand, and Ahiru turned to look behind her.

Elora and Grandpa walked into the room, they stood beside Edel and bowed. 

“Why? Why aren’t they-”

“Real people?” Edel smiled. “I believe that can be explained by Fakir.”

Ahiru looked to Fakir. 

He shook his head. “When I wrote the story, I didn’t have time to finish, much was left open to interpretation.” 

“So I kindly let you use my puppets.” Drosselmeyer smiled. “However wasted they were when you left your family.”

“That’s not my real family!” Ahiru shouted, what had the monster said? “I- I have a mother! And brothers!” 

“Yes, yes, so you do.” Drosselmeyer chuckled. “And oh, how they miss you!”

“You stole me away from them! You made me think I was a duck for ten years! All for your story.”

“No, no my greatest tragedy! My Magnum Opus!” 

“That’s not fair!”

Drosselmeyer chuckled, rocking his chair. “It was for me! And what great fun.”

Fakir put his hand on Ahiru’s shoulder. “That doesn’t matter right now, what does is, how do I fix this?” 

“And why would I tell you? Hmm?” 

“Because I’ll give you your greatest tragedy ever.”

“Oh?” Drosselmeyer cocked a brow.

Ahiru twisted around. “Fakir? What do you mean by that?”

“Ahiru belongs in the Kingdoms, but I belong here. On Earth. That will be your greatest tragedy. The star crossed lovers, doomed since the beginning. Never to be together, not without ripping the world apart.”

Drosselmeyer was silent, and Ahiru could feel her heart pounding inside her chest, she wished Drosselmeyer would laugh and tell him that that was nothing compared to what he had already accomplished. 

But, he didn’t.

“Oh, how delicious! How wonderful! How horrible.” He stood. “Fine, I’ll tell you, but you must stay on Earth, and Ahiru will get to return home.” 

“Wait, no!” Ahiru pulled at Fakir’s arm. “Don’t do this!”

Fakir clenched his jaw. “No matter what I’ve done, it’s just proved that I can’t make you happy. In Goldcrown, you’re a duck, here you’re alone and in danger, but if I send you home, you’ll have Rue, Mytho, your family.” 

“But I won’t have you.” Her lip trembled. “You’re my best friend, you’re the only person who- You’re-”

“I know.”

“You promised to stay by my side!” She clenched her fists. “No! Don’t tell us, don’t you utter a word!” She said to Drosselmeyer. 

“Ahiru, please. If I go with you, the same thing will happen, the tear will only open farther.” 

“What about Rue? She was fine. She lived in the Kingdoms.” 

“Yes, but Rue is different.”

“Why! Why can’t you be different too!” 

“There’s no place for us.” Fakir raised a hand and wiped at her cheek, the tears that had started to fall, neglecting his own. 

Drosselmeyer chuckled, softly at first, but soon it encompassed the entirety of the room. 

“You’re a sadist.” Fakir spat.

“No, simply an admirer of the arts. I’ll tell you where you went wrong. You stopped.”

“What?”

“When you wrote your little story, trying to put little duck back in her palace, you stopped, you went to the pond where she swam, but it was too late, you stopped and the story span it’s web, filling in the gaps you left. 

“So, the next time you write, don’t stop until you’re finished. Even if it sends you to an early grave.” 

Fakir nodded, taking Ahiru’s hand, he lead her back to the motorcycle. 

“You can’t listen to him.” She said.

He swung a leg onto the motorcycle and started it. 

“You can’t leave me.”

“Ahiru, get on the motorcycle.”

“You promised.” 

“I have to break this promise. It’s a promise that puts everyone in danger.” 

“No, it-”

“Ahiru.” Fakir stood from the motorcycle, he grabbed hold of her arms. “For a year I wasn’t able to protect you, I wasn’t a knight, I wasn’t your writer, I was just a man with nothing to offer you. You were all alone, and it was my fault.”

“We can go to Goldcrown, we can be together there.” She had started crying again. 

“You’ll just be a duck. We won’t be happy.” 

“And you won’t come with me?” 

“No.” He shook his head. 

She nodded slowly, she bit her lip in an effort not to break out into uncontrollable sobs, and she realized that it wasn’t her curse never to be able to say I love you without turning into a speck of light, nor was it to be a duck for the rest of her days, no. Her curse was this: that no matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, all her efforts were wasted. 

She would never get her happy ending. 

He was right, she knew, there was no way that they could be together. 

“Can you-” She started, “Can you close the tear?” 

He looked down at her, his eyebrows coming together. “What do you mean?”

“Drosselmeyer opened the tear with his writing, right? So he’d have access to the Kingdoms? Couldn’t you close it? Stitch it back up? Then, no matter what side you’re on, we don’t have to worry about it ripping open.” 

“Oh.” He said. “I don’t know if I can, if I’m good enough yet. What if someone gets trapped on the wrong side? Or if I can’t close it properly-”

“Then you fix it. You fix it with your writing, no matter how long it takes.” 

“Ahiru, I-”

“I love you.” She said. “I’m in love with you, and you promised to stay by my side. So you’re going to stay by my side!”

“You didn’t disappear.” He said. 

“I know, I didn’t. I love you.” She said again. “I love you.”

He took her hands in his. “You’re still here.” 

“I’m here, and I promise to stay here, by your side, so long as you keep your promise to stay by mine.” 

“If I can’t-”

“You can.” 

He put his hand on her cheek, and she wrapped her hand around his wrist, forcing it to stay there, she pressed her lips into the palm of his hands, reveling in the feeling of his skin pressed against her lips.

“So, how do we get back to the Kingdoms?”

“I don’t know.”

Her mouth fell open, and she started to laugh. 

“What?”

“Of course we have to figure it out ourselves!” She giggled. “How did we get letters from Mytho and Rue?”

“I don’t know, they just appeared.”

She started laughing harder. “You never questioned it?”

“They appeared in the mailbox, it's not like - stop laughing - it’s not like it was a great mystery about where the mail came from.” 

“So then, we have to find Mytho.”

“Yes.” 

“Alright.” She nodded, “Let’s go.” 

“Wait.” Fakir grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. “Wait.” 

“What is it?”

He reached behind his head and pulled a necklace off his neck. “This is my mother’s wedding band.” He held her palm face up. “Hold on to it for me, will you?”

He dropped the necklace in her hand and she looked confused. “Wasn’t it safer on your neck?” 

He smirked and shook his head. “Maybe I should try it a different way.” He got down on one knee and held out the ring, he pulled the chain away, abandoning it on the floor. “I want you to wear this on your left ring finger, and when I close the tear, and when I get you home, I want you to marry me.”

“What if the ring doesn’t fit?” 

“I’ll get it resized.”

“Oh.” Ahiru took the ring from his hand and slipped it on her finger. “Does this mean you’ll keep your promise?” 

“It means that I love you and I promise to stay by your side until the day I die.” He stood, placing his hand on her cheek again. “You’re right, we shouldn’t let Drosselmeyer win, and the only way I’ll ever be happy, is if I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She smiled. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

He pulled her onto his motorcycle, and as he revved the engine, the doors to the nursing home opened, outside was mayhem, but they were ready. 

The harpy was on their tail soon after, but Fakir was determined to get home, to his pen and paper, and he wasn’t about to let this damned overgrown bird be the end of his story. 

“Don’t crash this time!” 

“I won’t, I left the garage open.”

Ahiru turned back around, they were going faster and put much more space between each other and the harpy, but the motorcycle began to sputter and slow.

“Fakir, what is it?”

“The damn thing ran out of gas.” Fakir checked behind them. “Okay, hold on.” 

He took a sharp turn into the alley, turned off the motorcycle and they jumped off.

“Now what?” Ahiru asked. “She’s coming.” 

“Now we run.” Fakir grabbed her hand and they raced out of the alley, but as soon as they came out, they were almost hit by a car.

“Fakir!” Mytho threw open the door. “Your sword.”

Fakir bowed his head and handed Mytho the sword. 

Mytho took the sword and went out to the center of the street. 

“Get in.” Rue shouted. 

Ahiru and Fakir opened the doors and piled in, not shutting the door before Rue peeled off. 

“Rue!” Ahiru leaned forward. “You can’t just leave Mytho!” 

“King Siegfried can handle it, I think it’s that little monster you should be more concerned about.”

Ahiru gasped. “You remember?”

“Of course I did. Sometime last night, before the sun set.” She said. “It all came back.”

“And so does Mytho?” 

“Yes.” 

Ahiru smiled and laughed. “Oh, Rue, I missed you so much! I missed you so much as a duck, and I’m so happy you remember me.” 

Rue smiled at her in the rear view mirror. “I’m sorry it took so long, but I’m here now. We’re here, Mytho and I, we’re going to help you.”

“I’m not a duck, Rue! It was just Drosselmeyer! He just made it so I was stuck one until I went home! I’m from where Mytho is from.” 

“You are?” 

“I am! I won’t be a duck anymore!”

“Rue,” Fakir said, leaning forward. “How do we get back?”

“I- I don’t know. We would just come and go in Mytho’s carriage.”

Fakir nodded, rubbing his chin. “How did he call it?”

“It would just come to him.” 

“Alright. You know where I live?” 

“No. I’m sorry, was I supposed to?”

Fakir scoffed, “No, just go left. Left! I said left!”

“How was I supposed to make that turn!”

“It was right there!” 

“And? I didn’t have time to make it!” 

Fakir sighed. “Take the next left then.”

“I will.”

“Remember where you’re going, you’ll have to find the way back to Mytho.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” Ahiru said, she had twisted in her seat, looking out the back window. 

Outside, the harpy and Mytho fought, but the harpy did her best to follow Ahiru and as a result they were right behind them. 

Rue pushed on the gas, sending them forward as fast as the car could go, before pressing on the break as hard as she could so that she wouldn’t fly into Fakir’s house.

Once the car had stopped, he jumped out and ran inside. 

Rue and Ahiru stepped out of the car and embraced. 

“You’re a girl, I can’t believe you’re a girl again.” Rue smiled. 

“I know.” Ahiru grinned back, beaming. 

“Oh my god, you’re still in love with Fakir, aren’t you?” Rue asked, appalled. “You can’t just say it was the false memories.” 

Ahiru nodded and held up her hand. “Look.”

“Ahiru!” Rue scolded. “And you said yes? Without consulting me first?”

“Of course I said yes, how could I not?”

“I’m disappointed in you, but I suppose I didn’t expect anything less.” 

Fakir came running back outside, “That thing is a lot closer than it was before.” 

Rue nodded. “Yes. I’ll have to get Mytho to summon his carriage.” She turned to Ahiru, “Want to know something cool about drinking Raven’s blood?”

“What?”

“You get to keep all the cool powers that came with it.” 

Rue surrounded herself with the wind and black feathers and off she flew, coming beside Mytho, standing on his stage of flower petals. 

Ahiru turned to Fakir, who started writing, and suddenly she felt useless. 

Mytho fought for her. 

Fakir wrote for her. 

Rue helped her. 

And she stood, waiting by the side lines to be rescued. 

“Don’t give up hope.” Fakir said, the scraping of his pen not stopping. “If you give up hope, what will all of this have been for?” 

“What am I good for?”

“If not for you, the prince would still be heartless, Rue would still be the daughter of the Raven, and I would still be a useless knight. You propel us forward, you give us our hope, our inspiration, you are our rally cry.”

Mytho and Rue stood before them, and Mytho bowed deeply. 

“Princess Tutu. My sister. Ahiru.” He rose. “Anything you ask, I will do for you.” 

She smiled. “We need to go to your kingdom.”

He bowed. “It is done.” He held out his arm, and beside them came a golden carriage, attached to two giant swans. 

“I’ll take the reins.” Rue said, taking her seat in the carriage. “You fight the monster if it attacks.”

Mytho nodded. 

Ahiru and Fakir sat in the carriage, and with a flick of Rue’s wrist, they were off in the sky, Mytho held onto the back, his borrowed sword brandished and ready to strike. 

Fakir wrote fast and steadily, never stopping, writing everything down as it came. 

They broke through the clouds, and into the sun. 

“Almost there.” Rue said.

“How can you tell?” Ahiru asked.

“You can feel it.” 

Ahiru nodded, and in her chest she did feel it. The feeling of coming home. 

“We have to pass through Goldcrown.” Rue said.

“So, I’ll be a duck for a while.” Ahiru said.

“Will you be okay?” Fakir asked her. 

She nodded, and as they passed over the borders of Goldcrown, she could feel it in her bones, she closed her eyes and when she opened them, she was a white duck.

No, she was the white duck. 

The harpy had mentioned her mother, her brothers, and the story came to mind.  

The cursed princess and her three children, her two sons and-

“Quack!” Ahiru stood to her feet. Oh, how had she not seen it? The story finding her? Begging her to read it? She was from the land of stories, from the Kingdoms, stolen anyway from her mother, her father, and two brothers, she was a princess. 

“We’re almost- woah!” The carriage started to tremble, the swans honked in worry, but did not slow. 

“Quack!” Ahiru stopped herself, she meant to ask what was going on, but instead… 

She looked up at Fakir desperately, she had forgotten what it felt like, to try and talk and not be heard. 

With one hand, he pet her head. 

“What happened?” He asked for her. 

“The carriage-” It rattled again. “It only works when Mytho is close by, otherwise it starts to fall.” 

Ahiru looked back to find Mytho, he had fallen away from the carriage, fighting the monster with his sword, but it wouldn’t give up, determined to keep him away from his friends. 

It was her the harpy wanted, she knew it, not Mytho, not Rue or Fakir. No, not the harpy. 

The witch. 

She stood in her seat and spread her wings. 

“Wait, Ahiru, don’t!” Fakir called, but it was too late, Ahiru flew away from the carriage.

She quacked as loudly as she could, trying to gain the witch’s attention. 

“Hey, you big, scary looking monster! Stop hurting Mytho!” 

The witch looked to her and laughed. “Just like your mother I see! Nothing but a white duck!” 

The harpy abandoned Mytho and chased after Ahiru. 

Alright, she thought, I just have to follow the carriage and we’ll get to the Kingdoms, it’ll be easy. 

Mytho was by her side. “Go back to the carriage, it’s not safe!” 

“Quack!”

He sighed. “Right, I forgot.” 

Ahiru stole a glance behind her, she was much faster than the giant monster, lighter and quicker. When she turned back, however, the carriage had disappeared.

“Quack!” 

“It’s alright, it just got to the kingdom, we’ll be there soon.” Mytho said.

She peered down at Goldcrown, the city that she used to call her home, she flew by so quickly, would this truly be the last time she saw it? She supposed it would be, and soon, she’d be in her true home, with her mother. Reunited with her family. 

She nodded, and kept her gaze forward, and soon they broke into the cloud, and once they reached the other side, she found herself to be too heavy to fly, she looked down at herself and she was a girl again. 

She panicked, but realized she was standing beside Mytho, still atop his flowers, except now he wore a crown, and a cape flew around him.

“Mytho-”

He smiled. “King Siegfried, but yes, welcome home.” 

She smiled, looking over the land, it was green and bright, there were rivers and lakes, and that was all that she could see from where she stood with Mytho. 

She looked behind them, the witch still fighting to follow them, but a large cloud, black nearly purple, filled with electricity covered the eternity of the southern sky. 

“That is how we were able to return to Goldcrown.” Mytho said. “But look, it’s getting smaller.” 

She looked at it again, taking note of the edges to see that, yes, it was getting smaller. “Fakir.” 

“Ahiru! I’ve come for you!” The witch called. 

“She’s still there.” Ahiru whined. “I know how to deal with her.” 

“You do?”

Ahiru smiled. “I do.” 

They slowed, lowering their cloud of flowers, and Ahiru stepped off with a graceful foot, wrapped in a silk pointe shoe. 

She raised her hands above her head and offered the monster to dance. “Who are you?” She asked.

“I don’t have to tell you anything!” She screeched, flying around Ahiru.

Ahiru started to dance, following the movements of the monster. “What do you know of my mother? Of my brothers?” With all her might, she tried to remember the calming words she used as Princess Tutu. 

“I know that they do not miss you!”

“You’ve done something to them, why don’t you just tell me?” 

“I cursed them, I did! I cursed you as well! I let Drosselmeyer take you from your mother and turn you back into a duck after she ruined me!” 

“How long have you held this anger in you?” Ahiru asked, her feet light. “Perhaps it is time to let it go, to be free.” 

“I am the witch that cursed your mother! I am the witch that stole her life away! And I’ll steal yours away, too!” 

“You already have, and what joy has it brought you?” 

“Joy? I know of no such thing.”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to?”

The witch’s circles grew tighter and closer to Ahiru, but the harpy grew smaller too. 

“What ever anger you have against me, against my mother, let it go. Be free and have joy.” 

The witch landed and Ahiru held out her hand. 

“Dance with me?” 

The monster said nothing, and Ahiru strode forward, she placed her hands on the witch’s cheeks, and kissed her forehead. 

The harpy squawked, but the pretense fell away, and before Ahiru stood a woman dressed in rags. 

“You’re a ghost, aren’t you?” 

The witch nodded once. 

“You can lay to rest and find peace now.” 

“All I wanted was for the prince to love me. That would have brought me joy.”

“You hurt many people, and deceived him. Wouldn’t it have been better to find someone who loved you back?”

“I was jealous of your mother.” The witch said. “She was beautiful and the prince loved her, and not me.”

“You can’t force anyone to love you.”

“I know that now.”

Ahiru took the witch’s hands in her own. “Know this, I forgive you, I will have my mother forgive you, my father and my brothers will forgive you. You are still here because you still feel hurt, but I don’t want you to feel hurt anymore, I want you to be free. Free of pain.”

The witch grinned, “Tell your mother I am sorry.” she disappeared, like the mist, blowing away with the wind 

Ahiru bowed to where she once stood. 

“Ahiru!” 

She spun around, beaming, “Fakir!” When she found him, she ran to him, she couldn’t help the way she jumped into his arms, and he couldn't stop himself from holding onto her, kissing her and swinging her about. 

“You did it.” She said, breathless. “You closed the tear.” 

“Not without you.” He pressed his head against hers, his hands held her thighs, keeping her wound tightly around him. “I would be powerless without you.” 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, allowing her whole body to be pressed to him. “We’re together.” 

“We’re together.” He nodded and smiled.

She laughed and he kissed her, his lips to hers, traveling down her neck. 

Mytho placed a hand on Fakir’s shoulder. Fakir peeled away from Ahiru, setting her down, and they grabbed hold of one another. 

“You are not Princess Tutu.” Mytho said when he broke away from Fakir.

“No.” Ahiru shook her head. 

“Nor are you a simple duck.”

“No.”

“And you are not my sister, so who are you?” 

Ahiru opened her mouth, she smiled. “I don’t know. I know the story of my mother, but I don’t know who I am.” 

“Until you find out, you may stay with Rue and I in our castle, you can meet our children.” He smiled. 

“Dawid and Aria.” Ahiru smiled. “I’ve wanted to meet them for a long time.” 

Mytho smiled, he wrapped his arm around Ahiru and lead her back to his carriage, and he brought them to his castle. 

At the sight of their carriage, there was much fanfare and people were yelling and shouting. 

“The King and Queen have returned!”

“King Seigfried is back!”

“Your Highness! Your Majesty!” 

At the gates, Rue ran out of the carriage, but was met halfway when the grand doors opened and her son and daughter came to greet her. 

“Mama!” He cried. 

“Dawid!” She wrapped her arms around him, and Aria was placed in her arms. “Oh, Aria. I’m so sorry, I was gone for so long. I’m so sorry.” 

Dawid sobbed into his mother’s shoulder, and Aria clung to her. 

Ahiru watched from the carriage, admiring the fact that somehow both of her children looked nothing like Mytho, save for their eyes, both golden like his. 

Fakir took her hand and they walked up the steps. 

“My people!” Seigfried cried. “For a year, I was in a strange place, but thanks to the efforts of this Princess, and her Knight, my wife and I have returned to you for good!” 

Mytho went on, explaining that Ahiru was a Princess stolen from her home by Drosselmeyer much like he had been, but Ahiru didn’t listen, she was on the steps next to Rue, meeting her children. 

“Are you a princess too?” Dawid tilted his head.

“Why do you ask that?” Ahiru asked.

“Crown.” Aria said, pointing at her head. 

Ahiru touched her head, and from her head a crown fell.

For the first time, she looked down and saw that she wasn’t wearing her favorite sweater, but instead a dress, it was gold and glittered in the sun.

“I am.” She held the crown close to her face for inspection.

“Tell me the story of your mother,” Rue said. “Perhaps I will know who it is.”

And Ahiru told her the story of the White Duck. 

“So, do you know who my mother is?” 

Rue nodded. “I think I may, she is the queen of the northern kingdom, she is an ally of ours, and I believe if I write to her, she will come.” 

Ahiru smiled. “Thank you.” 

Fakir came beside her. “So, what will become of us?” 

“What do you mean?”

“A lowly knight can’t marry a princess.”

“I’m afraid that whoever my mother is will have to deal with the fact that her daughter doesn’t care.” 

“How rebellious of you.” He said, smiling.

“I’ve waited too long for you just to give you up.” She said.

“Ugh, there are children present, get a room!” Rue groaned, covering Dawid’s and Aria’s eyes. 

Ahiru laughed. “I’m sure we will.”

“You won’t get to share a room until you're married.” Rue said bitterly.

“How soon can we get married.” Fakir asked. 

“My, my aren’t you in a rush.” 

He nodded. “I’ve waited eleven years, I won’t wait a second longer.” 

“Mm. I can arrange for a wedding in the morning.” Rue said. “If only to put a stop to this.” She gestured to them, completely wrapped up in each other. 

“Thank you, Rue.” Ahiru said. 

Rue smiled, “You’re welcome, Ahiru.”

 

Ahiru stood in front of the door, wanting to step outside, to go to Fakir’s room, just to talk to him, she wanted to talk to him, in a way she hadn’t been able to before, holding nothing back, but also, she missed his hand on hers, the way his lips felt, and how warm his skin was. 

But she knew someone would be outside, making sure they didn’t see each other. 

She pouted, she groaned, and turned to go back to bed, and nearly screamed when she saw the figure in the window. 

She smiled. She opened the window and pulled Fakir into her room. 

 

“Sound the alarm! Fakir’s missing!” Someone shouted from outside.

Ahiru opened her eyes, her back warmer than her front and when she turned to look behind her, she was stopped.

“Not yet.” Fakir said, his arms tightening around her waist. “Not yet.”

“They think you’re missing.” She giggled. 

“Let them think I’m gone, they’ll find me when they come to tell you.”

She sighed, content, “Fine.” 

The door to her room burst open. “Ahiru! Fakir’s-” Rue pursed her lips. “Right here. Didn’t I tell you-” 

“Yes, yes you did, and we didn’t listen.” Ahiru smiled. 

Rue shook her head, she called for the guards and a few maids. 

They were dragged away from each other and Rue scolded Ahiru as maids bathed her, brushed her hair and dressed her. 

Rue went away after awhile, Ahiru was sure it was to scold Fakir as well, although perhaps she made Mytho handle that. 

Rue came back with a box. 

“I’m sorry you don’t have a lot of options for your wedding dress.” 

“It’s okay, it’s so short notice.” 

“Right.” Rue pulled out three dresses. “One of them is mine, but I’m willing to part with it.”

“Oh Rue, how kind of you, but it’s okay.” 

Rue nodded, holding up one of the other two. “This was one of Princess Tutu’s - the real Princess Tutu’s - dresses, worn to a ball.”

Ahiru glanced at it. It felt wrong, she was no longer Princess Tutu, and as much as she felt connected to the dead Princess, she didn’t want to wear her gown. “No.”

“Alright, well this was Mytho’s mother’s wedding dress.” Rue held up a white gown and that was it, there was no other way to describe it it was so plain and lacking in any color, design or style, it was all Ahiru could describe it as. A white gown. 

She smiled. 

Rue smiled as well. 

 

“Are you ready?” Mytho asked her. He had offered to walk her down the aisle and give her away, as much as he wasn’t her brother, he still acted like one. 

“Yes.” She smiled at him. 

They walked together into the chapel and when her eyes landed on Fakir, she smiled. 

At long last, Ahiru was getting her happy ending.

And it was one she deserved.  


	13. March

Ahiru sat at the end of the dock, her feet just touching the water, behind her the dock creaked and she knew someone was coming to pull her away. 

“Ahiru, your mother wants you.” 

She turned and smiled at Fakir. “Help me up?”

She held out her hand and she was pulled to her feet. Ahiru wrapped her hands around his elbow and they walked back to the shore. 

“How’s your head?” She asked. 

“Better. Everyday the fake memories fade away, soon I don’t think I‘ll remember it at all, only the time I was actually there.” 

“That’s good, I’m glad.” She smiled. “Do you ever feel bad that we left Autor?”

“No. This is a world with no Drosselmeyer- sympathizers. He wouldn’t last long here. Or at least, he’d be miserable.” 

“Retzel, Charon, you’ll never get to see them again.”

“Let me tell you something, as much as I can’t control their lives, what they do, or where they go, without ripping the tear, I can still see them. I can write down what they’re doing and I can see that they’re fine.” 

“And, you’re happy here?” 

“How many times do I have to tell you.” He pulled her to a stop, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I will be forever happy anywhere, so long as I have you by my side, as my wife.”

Together, they walked home, hand in hand, side by side, to live as Princess and Writer. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *That’s it, get out.

**Author's Note:**

> *Dawid is pronounced Dav-Vid, not Dawid :3c you animals. And Nivale is the scientific name for Edelweiss.
> 
> *This is my fix-it fic primarily based on three headcanons I have, the first being that Ahiru was never actually a duck in the first place, that the show takes place in the 70’s-80s, if Drosselmeyer was in the prime of his life in the mid to late 1800s and is Fakir’s great-great grandfather, and the last one I will not disclose at this time because that would spoil the ending.
> 
> *most of these chapters take place over the course of the entire month, so some parts get a little jumpy, since I’m not too concerned about this being a masterpiece… suffer.


End file.
